Consider the Oyster
A 20-syllable poem for the contest45 total reviews
Comment from estory
An interesting concept; making something beautiful out of a struggle, and pain. You did a lot in a small space with this one. I think it's a great image. estory
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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An interesting concept; making something beautiful out of a struggle, and pain. You did a lot in a small space with this one. I think it's a great image. estory
Comment Written 28-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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Many thanks, estory. As always, I appreciate your review and comments. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from krys123
Cheers, Tony;
-what a beautifully written short poem and consists of an fateful irony of a creature, that wraps the jewel within its pain.
-When an astounding prolific and prophetic statement, Tony.
-Good luck in the contest my friend and take care and have a good one.
Alex
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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Cheers, Tony;
-what a beautifully written short poem and consists of an fateful irony of a creature, that wraps the jewel within its pain.
-When an astounding prolific and prophetic statement, Tony.
-Good luck in the contest my friend and take care and have a good one.
Alex
Comment Written 28-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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Many thanks, Alex. As always, I appreciate your review and comments. Thanks, too, for the good luck wishes. All the best, Tony
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Yes, this short poem uses an oftentimes comparison of people and their inner pain wrapped around a pearl. This is most definitely a wonderful "pearl" of wisdom. I love the presentation, with the wonderful photo of an oyster, with a beautiful pearl, showing inside of it. The fact that you creatively used exactly 20 syllables, to write this wise poem, makes it all the more special. This is very wise and very cleverly done. My favorite two lines are the last two which say, "who, reaching within, wraps pearl round its pain." We so often forget the "pearls of wisdom" within the idea, of a rough exterior, containing a beautiful pearl. Anything worth doing is worth, cracking the shell, to ease the pain inside of us. Thank you for this insightful poem.
Take care, Jesse
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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Yes, this short poem uses an oftentimes comparison of people and their inner pain wrapped around a pearl. This is most definitely a wonderful "pearl" of wisdom. I love the presentation, with the wonderful photo of an oyster, with a beautiful pearl, showing inside of it. The fact that you creatively used exactly 20 syllables, to write this wise poem, makes it all the more special. This is very wise and very cleverly done. My favorite two lines are the last two which say, "who, reaching within, wraps pearl round its pain." We so often forget the "pearls of wisdom" within the idea, of a rough exterior, containing a beautiful pearl. Anything worth doing is worth, cracking the shell, to ease the pain inside of us. Thank you for this insightful poem.
Take care, Jesse
Comment Written 28-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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Many thanks, Jesse. The metaphor of the oyster and the pearl is perhaps a little overused but still, I think, a powerful one. It was an interesting challenge trying to work it into a 20-syllable poem! I appreciate your comments and thank you for picking out your favorite lines. All the best, Tony
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Yes, it is a powerful metaphor for life. Thank you for reminding me of it, and all that it means. It was a pleasure to read and review your work.
Jesse
Comment from jppoet
Sorry, far from your usual poetical artistry, this would have been more tfawcusesque if sculpted:
"Think of the oyster
Within its shell-fish cloister,
To which every girl
Loves its pearl."
john
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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Sorry, far from your usual poetical artistry, this would have been more tfawcusesque if sculpted:
"Think of the oyster
Within its shell-fish cloister,
To which every girl
Loves its pearl."
john
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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Many thanks for your review, John. Sorry that this one didn't gel for you. I appreciate your suggested revision. All the best, Tony
Comment from frogbook
This is really good-clever idea and a witty way of presenting your words. Often short poems are hard to review for me but I loved this one. It's a gem (pun intended-ha)
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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This is really good-clever idea and a witty way of presenting your words. Often short poems are hard to review for me but I loved this one. It's a gem (pun intended-ha)
Comment Written 28-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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Many thanks, JoAnn, for your punny review! All the best, Tony
Comment from karenina
Perfect. Spot on. A complete poem in 20 syllables that rhymes and makes sense and moves me...why oh why can we not vote NOW when we are sure we have the winner? It is frustrating to have to wait another week....and what if it slips my mind?
This is endearing. I will make a note and be sure to get my vote in for this "pearl" of a poem!
Karenina
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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Perfect. Spot on. A complete poem in 20 syllables that rhymes and makes sense and moves me...why oh why can we not vote NOW when we are sure we have the winner? It is frustrating to have to wait another week....and what if it slips my mind?
This is endearing. I will make a note and be sure to get my vote in for this "pearl" of a poem!
Karenina
Comment Written 28-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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Many thanks, Karenina. In fact this is a site contest, judged by an independent panel, so it won't be up for public vote. Best wishes, Tony
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WELL.....I hope that panel reads your reviews!
Smile.
Karenina
Comment from Heather Knight
I like the heroic way in which you present oysters in your poem, even though I have to confess the thought of them as food makes me queasy.
Your post made me reminisce of one of my favourite books: The Pearl.
Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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I like the heroic way in which you present oysters in your poem, even though I have to confess the thought of them as food makes me queasy.
Your post made me reminisce of one of my favourite books: The Pearl.
Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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Many thanks, Maria. I'm not too keen on them for food either! I appreciate your good luck wishes. All the best, Tony
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good verse for the Short Poem writing prompt.
You have described the oyster creating the pearl for it's pain, very well.
Well done and good luck to you with this one in the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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I think this is a good verse for the Short Poem writing prompt.
You have described the oyster creating the pearl for it's pain, very well.
Well done and good luck to you with this one in the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 28-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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Many thanks, Sharon. I appreciate your good luck wishes. All the best, Tony
Comment from Cindy McIntyre
What a lovely poem. Amazed that you can write such few words and still bring those words to life! Working in the rule of the 20 syllables is a challenge, but you pulled it off. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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What a lovely poem. Amazed that you can write such few words and still bring those words to life! Working in the rule of the 20 syllables is a challenge, but you pulled it off. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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Many thanks again, Cindy. I appreciate your kind words. All the best, Tony
Comment from LIJ Red
I saw a human fetus made of calcium, one that died in the womb and the mother's body coated it with calcium to prevent infection, layer after layer. They called it a stone baby. A human pearl. Excellent twenty syllable poem.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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I saw a human fetus made of calcium, one that died in the womb and the mother's body coated it with calcium to prevent infection, layer after layer. They called it a stone baby. A human pearl. Excellent twenty syllable poem.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2018
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Many thanks, Red. Now there's a story I've not heard before. All the best, Tony
