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Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Wind Chimes"contemporary poetry
6 total reviews
Comment from Artasylum
Well I agree with you about wind chimes. They are like a heavenly greeting. This is a well written poem fluid and expressive and you sold me. thanks so much. yours, diana
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2018
Well I agree with you about wind chimes. They are like a heavenly greeting. This is a well written poem fluid and expressive and you sold me. thanks so much. yours, diana
Comment Written 24-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2018
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and for your encouraging comments supporting this piece, glad you enjoyed it and found it so moving estory
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hello estory, lovely free verse, and I notice you are doing a series of poems based on this subject. I thought it flowed beautifully and the repetition works well. This is my favorite verse:
'...If I should become the sound of wind chimes,
I would ring each time a star appeared
Echoing in the wide emptiness of the skies
And echoing in the wide emptiness of the skies
Until there was nothing left but the wind ...'
Nothing to fix and thanks for sharing your writing, Ana.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2018
Hello estory, lovely free verse, and I notice you are doing a series of poems based on this subject. I thought it flowed beautifully and the repetition works well. This is my favorite verse:
'...If I should become the sound of wind chimes,
I would ring each time a star appeared
Echoing in the wide emptiness of the skies
And echoing in the wide emptiness of the skies
Until there was nothing left but the wind ...'
Nothing to fix and thanks for sharing your writing, Ana.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2018
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thanks so much for the excellent review and for all your encouraging comments supporting this poem. Glad you enjoyed it and thought it so well crafted estory
Comment from rama devi
Two spag nits:
* weather vanes is two words
* I believe the word 'twilight' should not be pluralized with an 's'
Favorite lines:
Love this AHA - imaginative:
Until the rooster tails turn the sky into the colors
Of the fading rose of September twilights
Love these lines and images too:
Describing the movements of a sunflower breeze
And the wakes of the hulls of the ships of the clouds,
YES: love the tone, image and repetition here:
If I should become the sound of wind chimes,
I would ring each time a star appeared
Echoing in the wide emptiness of the skies
And echoing in the wide emptiness of the skies
PITCH PERFECT CLOSING AHA:
Until there was nothing left but the wind
Love it!
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2018
Two spag nits:
* weather vanes is two words
* I believe the word 'twilight' should not be pluralized with an 's'
Favorite lines:
Love this AHA - imaginative:
Until the rooster tails turn the sky into the colors
Of the fading rose of September twilights
Love these lines and images too:
Describing the movements of a sunflower breeze
And the wakes of the hulls of the ships of the clouds,
YES: love the tone, image and repetition here:
If I should become the sound of wind chimes,
I would ring each time a star appeared
Echoing in the wide emptiness of the skies
And echoing in the wide emptiness of the skies
PITCH PERFECT CLOSING AHA:
Until there was nothing left but the wind
Love it!
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 24-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2018
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thanks again for the six stars and your continuing support of my poetry, my friend, I truly appreciate it and look forward to sharing more poetry in the future estory
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:-)))
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a delightful poem and I heard the wind whistling in your words and the sound of the wind chimes which I have on my balcony, great rhymes and atmospherics, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2018
This is a delightful poem and I heard the wind whistling in your words and the sound of the wind chimes which I have on my balcony, great rhymes and atmospherics, love Dolly x
Comment Written 24-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2018
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and all your wonderful comments supporting this poem glad you enjoyed it estory
Comment from tfawcus
Superb use of anapestic measure in this line: "And the wakes of the hulls of the ships of the clouds" to give an impression of the gently rocking motion of a ship and a marvellous sense of reverie. I very much liked the way you used repetition in this poem to create evocative echoes. You have reached deep into Aeolus' bag of tricks to bring us these lilting verses. Undoubtedly worth six stars, but - alas - mine have all been blown away.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2018
Superb use of anapestic measure in this line: "And the wakes of the hulls of the ships of the clouds" to give an impression of the gently rocking motion of a ship and a marvellous sense of reverie. I very much liked the way you used repetition in this poem to create evocative echoes. You have reached deep into Aeolus' bag of tricks to bring us these lilting verses. Undoubtedly worth six stars, but - alas - mine have all been blown away.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2018
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Thanks for this excellent review and for your wonderful comments supporting this poem, glad you enjoyed it. The wakes of the hulls of the clouds was one of my favorite lines as well. the boats sailing off into the horizon estory
Comment from Ulla
Hi estory, this is another wonderful free style poem in your series of wind poems. you so very well project the summer breezes and smell onto the rhythm of the wind chime. I liked it very much with its great audio and visual imagery. All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2018
Hi estory, this is another wonderful free style poem in your series of wind poems. you so very well project the summer breezes and smell onto the rhythm of the wind chime. I liked it very much with its great audio and visual imagery. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 24-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2018
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Thanks so much for the five star review and all your wonderful comments supporting this poem glad you enjoyed it estory