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Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Wind on Wind"contemporary poetry
11 total reviews
Comment from Artasylum
Be still my heart. Your use of the English language struck me as sensual, melodic, slightly agitated and meditative. during the course of this gem. If I were to copy and paste my favorites; I'd have to copy the whole poem. Thank for this joy. yours, diana
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2018
Be still my heart. Your use of the English language struck me as sensual, melodic, slightly agitated and meditative. during the course of this gem. If I were to copy and paste my favorites; I'd have to copy the whole poem. Thank for this joy. yours, diana
Comment Written 05-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2018
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Thanks again for the exceptional review of this poem and all your wonderful comments supporting this poem. I am so glad you enjoyed it and found it so moving. Check out the others in the series if you want to; Windchimes and In the Wind's Imaginations. This series was fun to write. estory
Comment from rama devi
I love the movement and animated phrasing in this run on sentence poem! Love reading it aloud. Love how your AHA concept laces all lines. Especially love:
Free from the confines of edges and directions,
All pure air and movement,
As the boats sail off across their wide oceans
And the balloons let go of themselves,
Disappearing
AND
The sound of wind on wind,
Formless,
Effortless
Perfect closing,.
The only critique is the lack of a question mark when questions have been posed, though I suppose they can be rhetorical. Still, I recommend adding one at the end of the sentence.
Wonderful phonetic voicing, imagery, delivery and flow!
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2018
I love the movement and animated phrasing in this run on sentence poem! Love reading it aloud. Love how your AHA concept laces all lines. Especially love:
Free from the confines of edges and directions,
All pure air and movement,
As the boats sail off across their wide oceans
And the balloons let go of themselves,
Disappearing
AND
The sound of wind on wind,
Formless,
Effortless
Perfect closing,.
The only critique is the lack of a question mark when questions have been posed, though I suppose they can be rhetorical. Still, I recommend adding one at the end of the sentence.
Wonderful phonetic voicing, imagery, delivery and flow!
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 21-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2018
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Thanks again for this amazing six star review and for your continued support of my poetry, I really appreciate it. I'm so glad the poem had such a resonance for you estory
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:-)))))
Comment from karenina
You did not TRY to capture "spirit" you succeeded impeccably! Such sublime imagery I felt weightless and unburdened as I travelled with you away from all things confining and confusing. There is an ebullient grace that fills the souls of those who release their tethers of earthly woes and drift on the invisible wings of God's angels! Great poem!
Karenina
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2018
You did not TRY to capture "spirit" you succeeded impeccably! Such sublime imagery I felt weightless and unburdened as I travelled with you away from all things confining and confusing. There is an ebullient grace that fills the souls of those who release their tethers of earthly woes and drift on the invisible wings of God's angels! Great poem!
Karenina
Comment Written 21-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2018
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Thanks so much for this five star review and all your wonderful comments supporting this poem, I am so glad you enjoyed it and found it so moving. It's always great to make connections with readers, this is what all the work is about. estory
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Not everything on here is diamonds (as you know)--so when I find a gem I am sure to call it one!---Karenina
Comment from Ulla
A truly lovely piece here, where you let the wind symbolise the free spirit and even that of God. I liked it a lot. It has great imagery and left me with food for thought. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2018
A truly lovely piece here, where you let the wind symbolise the free spirit and even that of God. I liked it a lot. It has great imagery and left me with food for thought. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 21-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2018
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and for your wonderful comments supporting this poem. So glad you enjoyed it and found it resonated so much for you. I appreciate the support and look forward to your story as well estory
Comment from tony bronk
a metaphor works sometimes better than others. I had a little hard time with yours, but, it is probably just me? A very nice poem! Tony
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2018
a metaphor works sometimes better than others. I had a little hard time with yours, but, it is probably just me? A very nice poem! Tony
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2018
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Thanks so much for the five star review and the comments and suggestions. Poems take on a life of their own, once they fly off the page, and readers turn them into all sorts of things. I am always surprised by what becomes of poems once they leave me. estory
Comment from Janilou
A lovely poem. I think you accomplished your goal very well. It did remind me of a soul completely open to and at peace with God.
The only small suggestion I have is regarding the line about the balloons. I found it pulled me out of the flow of the piece thinking of them letting go of themselves.
It's probably just me, but to me as they drifted away they would be letting go of the earth and becoming truly free.
All in all - this is a delightful poem.
Best wishes,
Jan
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2018
A lovely poem. I think you accomplished your goal very well. It did remind me of a soul completely open to and at peace with God.
The only small suggestion I have is regarding the line about the balloons. I found it pulled me out of the flow of the piece thinking of them letting go of themselves.
It's probably just me, but to me as they drifted away they would be letting go of the earth and becoming truly free.
All in all - this is a delightful poem.
Best wishes,
Jan
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2018
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and all the wonderful comments and suggestions supporting this poem. I appreciate it and I am glad you liked it and found it so well crafted. The line with the balloons is actually one of my favorites from this poem; I wanted to capture that sense of letting go of yourself, and giving yourself up to the breeze, and going where it takes you, all on faith. Sometimes the images work for some people, not others; that's the way it goes sometimes. estory
Comment from Wetbelly01
Oh yeah, you've seemed to have captured the essence of wind...
This is a very well written piece...
Didn't come across any 'glitches' along the way...
My compliments!
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2018
Oh yeah, you've seemed to have captured the essence of wind...
This is a very well written piece...
Didn't come across any 'glitches' along the way...
My compliments!
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2018
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and all the wonderful comments supporting this little piece. Glad you enjoyed it estory
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You're very welcome!
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hello, what a beautiful poem. You do capture the sense of the spirit with its limitless power by using the wind. You cleverly use all the things affected by the wind. Balloons, boats, leaves. I enjoyed your poem and thought it very well crafted and appealing. Thanks for sharing it, Ana.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2018
Hello, what a beautiful poem. You do capture the sense of the spirit with its limitless power by using the wind. You cleverly use all the things affected by the wind. Balloons, boats, leaves. I enjoyed your poem and thought it very well crafted and appealing. Thanks for sharing it, Ana.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2018
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and all your comments supporting this little piece. I am glad you enjoyed it and found it so well crafted. When poems resonate like this for readers, across the spectrum, it makes all the work worth while I appreciate the support estory
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This reminds be of a fanciful dream whisking you away to a far away land on a magical cloud! An effortless flight into the unknown trusting the journey and the feeling of freedom, love Dolly x
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reply by the author on 23-Mar-2018
This reminds be of a fanciful dream whisking you away to a far away land on a magical cloud! An effortless flight into the unknown trusting the journey and the feeling of freedom, love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2018
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and for all your comments supporting this poem. So glad you enjoyed it, it is kind of up your alley with all these natural, somewhat romantic images estory
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hello Estory,
The impact of your first stanza is amazing. You allow the reader to fly with you in spirit as opposed to being fully supported by wings to lift. Inspiring how far we can go if we believe.
That second stanza is absolute bliss for the trust and love it wraps around a soul in search of truth.
Our eyes are opened to the beauty and vastness that is creation, never worrying about what is to come rather a simple belief that all will be as ordained in our map of life.
Your fourth stanza elevates this write to a place of the intent of our soul itself. Questions asked yet undeterred because we fly in a place of absolute trust and love. Beautiful stanza!
"Caught up in the breath of life," as God gave us our first breath He allows us to enter into His peaceful silence and continues to hold us freely and love us unconditionally.
"Effortless" Yes an absolute conclusion to life itself if we stand in faith, watch for our signs and move even when that seems an impossibility.
I am moved to tears with this one Estory. Thank you for writing it.
xx deborah
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2018
Hello Estory,
The impact of your first stanza is amazing. You allow the reader to fly with you in spirit as opposed to being fully supported by wings to lift. Inspiring how far we can go if we believe.
That second stanza is absolute bliss for the trust and love it wraps around a soul in search of truth.
Our eyes are opened to the beauty and vastness that is creation, never worrying about what is to come rather a simple belief that all will be as ordained in our map of life.
Your fourth stanza elevates this write to a place of the intent of our soul itself. Questions asked yet undeterred because we fly in a place of absolute trust and love. Beautiful stanza!
"Caught up in the breath of life," as God gave us our first breath He allows us to enter into His peaceful silence and continues to hold us freely and love us unconditionally.
"Effortless" Yes an absolute conclusion to life itself if we stand in faith, watch for our signs and move even when that seems an impossibility.
I am moved to tears with this one Estory. Thank you for writing it.
xx deborah
Comment Written 20-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2018
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Thanks so much for this incredible six star review, again! I have to say it is the most emotional review I have ever received, and it is encouraging to find that my poetry has resonated so well with some people. I have working in this art form for almost 40 years now, so it nice to know I am getting somewhere with it...LOL estory