Comment from MelB

Excellent

I have no family to ransome me and just started working at the ranch a few days ago." - ransom(e)

Hi Rhonda, it seems like he wants to keep her safe, but you never know with his title. I'd be a little worried if I were her. I'm anxious to find out what happens next.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2018

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018

Thanks for the Spag catch. I actually didn't know how to spell in correctly, lol, so that was good. Usually my mistakes are words I do know, but overlooked.

Yes, Nara has reason to be afraid, but he has his reasons for being kind to her as well. But, that's a story for another day, as they say.
Thanks for your interest and support.

Take care,
Rhonda

reply by MelB on 13-Mar-2018

You're welcome. I miss stuff in my writing all the time. I can't believe I miss it sometimes, but I do.

Comment from prettybluebirds

Excellent

Excellent job of blending the real with the fantasy. I find it most interesting and intend to read it to the end. I will watch for more of this story to see where it goes from here.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2018

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018

Thank you! I do like mixing the two worlds together. I was told once upon a time that the most read fantasy stories are ones that tie into what people already know and understand. It's the way my father used to tell us stories growing up. He'd always make it have something to do with our experiences, and things we were going through.

I do so hope you'll stay with it. I can use the help of someone who has followed to make sure I stay aligned. There's nothing worse than having a character talk that's supposed to be out of town, or back in some village or other. Only saying that, because I've done it before. haha.

Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi Rhonda,

very good chapter here. It is technically solid and well written. I got the 'American Gods' vibe going on here after a bit (which is a very good book, if a little slow, by the way).

the plants sparser and more succulunt - succulent.

All the best
G

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2018

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018

Thank you, G! I appreciate your reading and reviewing, and most of all, that you said it was technically solid. I hadn't read or watched American Gods, but it sounds a bit like my type of stories. I guess someone else has a strange sense of adventure. I got it from my father, originally, as he wove vampires, witches, werewolves, mummies, wampus cats, and many others in the stories he would tell me and my sister when we were little.

Thanks again,
Rhonda

Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

Hi Rhonda,

This chapter is fascinating :) I'm hooked on this story and may have to read from the beginning to catch up. I'm thinking he's not going to kill her, but just keep her safe until the bad guys move on. Looking forward to more of this story.

Joy xx

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2018

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018

Thank you, Joy. His intention is to keep her safe, in his own way, but make no mistake, he's the bad-guy, he just has a soft spot for Nara (and who he thinks she is).

I so appreciate you!
Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from robina1978

Excellent

Nara got abducted by what looks like a strange man, dressed up like knight. When she questions the safety of the people that she knows, he says they are all safe. He also says no one is going to hurt her. When he lets her down he introduces her to Thanatos. She knows from teaching history, and having studied Greek mythology, that he is not a very nice character. He struck the earth beside a stone.
The ground shook like crater and she could see a staircase. He took her down the stairs. When she asks where they are he answers: 'My home.'

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2018

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018

Thank you for taking time to review and comment.

Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from Mike Stevens

Excellent

Another fine chapter, Rhonda--and I don't see why Nara's so upset and concerned--houses appear out of the ground everyday--she should just relax and enjoy the experience!

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2018

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018

I know, right? What's with her? Big guy with nice horse equates to lots of money, right?? She should just go with it. Not like she's had other offers.

reply by Mike Stevens on 13-Mar-2018

Yeah, she should just go along with it!

Comment from Roxanna Andrews

Excellent

Oh my, the god of the death doesn't sound so good. Not someone you want to be friends with or maybe you do? Anyway it's interesting, I look forward to finding out what Nara will remember.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2018

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018

Thank you, Roxanna. You've got a point. It might be nice having the death guy on your side. Who would mess with you then??

Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Exceptional

Oh my!!!!!!!!! You have me right where a good author wants you. WOW oh WOW!!! I want more and more and more. Who is this gentle but very dangerous man???

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2018

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018

Awww, thank you for the beautiful six stars, and for the wonderful comments! You've made my day!
The gentle, but dangerous man is the death god. Poor girl, all she wanted was a nice job in the middle of the country so she could relax. Not happening now!

Thanks so much, my friend,
Rhonda

Comment from apky

Excellent

Where are we / My home

I bet Nara didn't go: What a lovely place you have down here

Excellent and intriguing. Now that I know it's fantasy, I'm reading this with "different" eyes and appreciate it all the more for that.

******
I have no family to ransom(delete-e) me and just started working at the ranch a few days ago.

Nara gasped and stepped backward as though she could retreat her(herself) from the shocking scene.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2018

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018

It does read a bit differently as fantasy, doesn't it? Like I said before, I stretched the chapters out so far it was hard to get continuity and foreshadowing from it. I do appreciate you staying with it.

Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from Zue65

Excellent

Wow, just wow, you did a wonderful job here, integrating and incorporating old myths into your story and gave a fresh look at ancient legends and folklore. The mystery of Thanatos made your story more interesting and quite absorbing. Very well done.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2018

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018

Thank you, my friend. How very good you've made me feel! I do like mixing present day with old legends. As I've told other people, I got it from my father, who often told my sister and I the same sort of stories when we were growing up.

I do so appreciate the feedback.

Take care,
Rhonda