Reviews from

The Biggest Sacrifice

A little girl does her part in ending the drought.

11 total reviews 
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Excellent
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75 words??? You worded this for the reader to believe that an animal was being sacrificed. How macabre, I thought, only to find it was a doll. Tricky. You did this so well in just 75 words. 150 is hard enough !! Great job.

 Comment Written 04-May-2018

reply by the author on 04-May-2018
    Heh heh, Liz, I love this one. Thanks for the review.
Comment from Mary Hollingsworth
Excellent
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Another doll, I don't think so. Why should she have another doll, she stabbed that one several times. There comes a time when we all have to learn from our irrational moments so that I keep that same doll

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2018

reply by the author on 25-Mar-2018
    Grin. I happen to agree with you! Thanks for the comments and stars.
Comment from Ben Colder
Excellent
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This sounds like a little heathen stabbing a doll as sacrifice. Not sure what the writer wishes to portray. Is this for script? Keep writing. I never found any major errors

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2018

reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018
    Thank you for your comments and stars. I was thinking more of the sacrifice of Abraham.
Comment from Spitfire
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Very clever. You set up a tough situation causing a poor farmer lose his cattle, cow, and starving horse. His daughter sacrifices too in a scene like a psycho killer. The rain comes after she stabs her doll. Mum, could this lead her next to humans?

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2018

reply by the author on 13-Mar-2018
    Grin. Glad you picked up on a lot of possibilities ahead. I appreciate very much the 6 stars and your comments.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
Excellent
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I think this is a good entry for the 75 Words Flash Fiction writing prompt.
You've rather grim story is well told.
Good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2018

reply by the author on 12-Mar-2018
    Thanks for the comments and the stars. It is on the grim side, I suppose. It was a grim time, I think.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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Aww, bless her. She sacrificed her dolly! And then it started to rain!! How clever she is. I'm sure her mummy will happily make her another one. What a lovely story, my friend. Very well done and good luck in the contest! xx Sandra

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2018

reply by the author on 12-Mar-2018
    Thank you! It's my belief that girls are born with the idea of self-sacrifice for the family already instilled. Fingers crossed!
Comment from tfawcus
Excellent
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We sometimes forget how literally children take what we say to them. You have turned this to your advantage to make a short story here that illustrates the hardship that prolonged drought brings to farming folk, and the point is made most forcibly. Good luck in the contest. This is a strong entry.

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2018

reply by the author on 12-Mar-2018
    Thank you for your encouragement and stars.
Comment from Mrs. KT
Excellent
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Hello!
Woah!
Didn't see that ending coming. And yet, it is not at all so far-fetched as little children do take to heart and often take literally what their parents tell them. So when her father said that all had to sacrifice, of course, to sacrifice her favorite doll made perfect sense! Very creative and well-crafted!

diane

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2018

reply by the author on 12-Mar-2018
    Thank you for your lovely comments and stars.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Excellent
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This speaks about an example of sacrifice at the instance of drought and when the family had no possession when the hard times was prevalent; well written, well done; thank you for sharing this with us; good luck with the contest. B A CHANGE INSPIRER-WRITER -- DR ALCREATOR

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 Comment Written 12-Mar-2018

reply by the author on 12-Mar-2018
    Thank you for the encouragement!
Comment from Pamusart
Excellent
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I do not think I ever want to meet that young lady. What a vivid portrait of evil. Maybe angry with her mom. Now, I will have nightmares. Lol. Well written. Great and scary imagery. Thank you for sharing

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 Comment Written 12-Mar-2018

reply by the author on 12-Mar-2018
    I know, right? Thanks for reading my story and commenting!