In Safe Solitude
These are my thoughts about my own self in solitude.21 total reviews
Comment from Old Soldier
Well quite a bit going on here. Solitude; a state of being alone. I get that. We all seek that time alone, at times. You have a lot going on in that as the reader I feel confused about the time you spend there. You write "I feel safe and accepted in my solitude ". Further down you write "solitude that is determined to decay my insides". I feel there conflict there. And I think the word solitude is used too much. The reader knows where you are from the first stanza. Thanks for sharing and keep writing.
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reply by the author on 31-May-2018
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Well quite a bit going on here. Solitude; a state of being alone. I get that. We all seek that time alone, at times. You have a lot going on in that as the reader I feel confused about the time you spend there. You write "I feel safe and accepted in my solitude ". Further down you write "solitude that is determined to decay my insides". I feel there conflict there. And I think the word solitude is used too much. The reader knows where you are from the first stanza. Thanks for sharing and keep writing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-May-2018
reply by the author on 31-May-2018
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thank you for sharing your thoughts and comments on my poem. I agree there is conflict with the structure of the wording and this was written in this manner on purpose, as to present a sarcastic acronym where each statement basically argues a stronger point of controlled entrapment. I hope this makes sense. Thank you, once again. .
Comment from royowen
Some raw emotions weaving its way through this well written prose poem. It's tough when a long term relationship breakdown. Well done I'm so so sorry you're grieving, but I sincerely hope it works out. I know this sounds a little glib, but it will get better, well done, I'm sorry, well done, blesings, Roy
reply by the author on 31-May-2018
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Some raw emotions weaving its way through this well written prose poem. It's tough when a long term relationship breakdown. Well done I'm so so sorry you're grieving, but I sincerely hope it works out. I know this sounds a little glib, but it will get better, well done, I'm sorry, well done, blesings, Roy
Comment Written 31-May-2018
reply by the author on 31-May-2018
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Thank you, Roy. I appreciate your thoughts and your kind comments on my poem. wilting certainly helps to put my place into perspective where it becomes less of a puzzle and easier to understand.
once again, thank you.
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Well done
Comment from Amanda Peiris
A very capturing and heartfelt piece! .... Took me to a very dark place..., i must say!
Intense. Good stuff. Very personal and shows the battles with living a very personal life
reply by the author on 31-May-2018
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A very capturing and heartfelt piece! .... Took me to a very dark place..., i must say!
Intense. Good stuff. Very personal and shows the battles with living a very personal life
Comment Written 31-May-2018
reply by the author on 31-May-2018
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Thank you, Amanda, for sharing your thoughts and your visuals after reading my poem. Writing is my outlet which helps me to unscramble the chaos that plays in my head. I appreciate your compliments and great review.
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Writing is a wonderful outlet! Keep it up :)
Comment from meeshu
a superb write about the duality of emotions one feels when alone. at first it is the only time we are truly free, in time it can become a prison. well done, Sues......meeshu
reply by the author on 31-May-2018
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a superb write about the duality of emotions one feels when alone. at first it is the only time we are truly free, in time it can become a prison. well done, Sues......meeshu
Comment Written 31-May-2018
reply by the author on 31-May-2018
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Thank you so much for your review on my poem. I am able to gain perspective on my own thoughts by writing and am grateful for those who can visualize a clear shadow of my mind by reading my words.
Comment from Alexander Vasa
hello Sueswrite, sounds like you are in a hard place and being isolated while in a relationship must be doubly painful. I hope your situation improves, and I think he is missing out as this is a lovely poem that expresses your predicament so well. I noticed nothing that needed improvement, and the art you chose is perfect. Thanks for sharing your solitude in verse, you are very talented, Ana.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2018
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hello Sueswrite, sounds like you are in a hard place and being isolated while in a relationship must be doubly painful. I hope your situation improves, and I think he is missing out as this is a lovely poem that expresses your predicament so well. I noticed nothing that needed improvement, and the art you chose is perfect. Thanks for sharing your solitude in verse, you are very talented, Ana.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2018
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Hello, Ana.
Thank you so very much for your kind words and the terrific review. As with everything, good or not so good, this too shall pass.
Yes, brighter days ahead... there has to be! LOL!
Thanks again,
sue
Comment from Pamusart
I understand how you feel. At both painting and poetry, I do not want anyone else seeing my work until I am done. I might make it worse and disappoint them. I do not think I will ever change and I see nothing wrong with it. I think there is more to it for you. You seem to have lost your way I would suggest writing a list of the positive things in your life and give each some attention. After that, and only after that, make a list of the negatives and give them the attention of eliminating them or moving them to the work on pile. I wish you the best of luck. Thank you for sharing. Good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2018
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I understand how you feel. At both painting and poetry, I do not want anyone else seeing my work until I am done. I might make it worse and disappoint them. I do not think I will ever change and I see nothing wrong with it. I think there is more to it for you. You seem to have lost your way I would suggest writing a list of the positive things in your life and give each some attention. After that, and only after that, make a list of the negatives and give them the attention of eliminating them or moving them to the work on pile. I wish you the best of luck. Thank you for sharing. Good luck in the contest
Comment Written 13-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2018
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Thank you, Pam.
I appreciate your thoughts and I love the suggestions! I know I'll get through this CRAP! My writing is a way of sorting out some of the chaos flying around upstairs. Thanks so much for the great review!
sue
Comment from Fabiha_N
This is a really well-written poem, which portrays a lot of deep feeling. We all feel safe in our own solitude, but those times are really the moments of when our thoughts can consume us. I sometimes feel a little lonely in my own home, because I'm always really quiet. Using Fanstory to write is kind of like an escape for me, and I love the community, even though I haven't been on here that long yet.
Thanks for writing this :)
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2018
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This is a really well-written poem, which portrays a lot of deep feeling. We all feel safe in our own solitude, but those times are really the moments of when our thoughts can consume us. I sometimes feel a little lonely in my own home, because I'm always really quiet. Using Fanstory to write is kind of like an escape for me, and I love the community, even though I haven't been on here that long yet.
Thanks for writing this :)
Comment Written 13-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2018
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Thank you for your kind words and for your thoughts. Yes, when I am alone and it is quiet all around me, thoughts fly around my brain, bouncing back and forth, non-stop! Even at night, I sleep with the t.V. On, just so my mind hears other conversations! LOL!
Writing is absolutely a release for me, and I appreciate the wonderful and talented writers who share their views.
Thanks again,
sue
Comment from karenina
FanStory is a poet site... In the best sense it is a family as well. Each of us loves to write and all of us are in some way looking out for the other...be it through reviews, or messages, poems, or "stars". I am so sorry you are struggling now. Please remember your worth. YOU are God's child and He does not make mistakes...so if someone is not honoring that, ne t thing is to wonder what's wrong with your partner's perception not your own! Happy birthday! I mean it....you had a birthday! Things are dark at the moment but the sun will shine again.... I've been where you are and feel your pain. I can't make you all better...but I can give you a better idea! Keep to your publishing goals! Respect your talent and worth as woman and writer! Do not give anyone the power to define who you are or how you feel...I see your smile in your photo. Be safe, be gentle with yourself....we are tender beings, we humans...and sometimes? We just need to love ourselves enough to take one step...then one more...and again.... I'm a message away if you want to vent. --Karenina
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2018
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FanStory is a poet site... In the best sense it is a family as well. Each of us loves to write and all of us are in some way looking out for the other...be it through reviews, or messages, poems, or "stars". I am so sorry you are struggling now. Please remember your worth. YOU are God's child and He does not make mistakes...so if someone is not honoring that, ne t thing is to wonder what's wrong with your partner's perception not your own! Happy birthday! I mean it....you had a birthday! Things are dark at the moment but the sun will shine again.... I've been where you are and feel your pain. I can't make you all better...but I can give you a better idea! Keep to your publishing goals! Respect your talent and worth as woman and writer! Do not give anyone the power to define who you are or how you feel...I see your smile in your photo. Be safe, be gentle with yourself....we are tender beings, we humans...and sometimes? We just need to love ourselves enough to take one step...then one more...and again.... I'm a message away if you want to vent. --Karenina
Comment Written 12-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2018
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Hello, Karenina.
Thank you sincerely for your warm thoughts regarding my poem. It truly makes a difference to know that people, although unknown, understand and in some way, can relate to my words and offer wonderful suggestions and even offer themselves to further correspond if I'd like. The close people in my family have no interest in my writing so truly thank God for my FanStory
family.
Thanks again!
Sue
Comment from RGstar
Right here, if you need. I know this well. I once wrote a line in a poem to my daughter, which is here in my portfolio, when drawing away from partner her choice...already had separate beds so young. I said " Alone need not mean lonely"
And let me tell you, after constantly have a million people around me for most of my profession, I also know what is like to enjoy a certain solitude, yet the other tries to force its way in, just when you feel settled, and you begin to wonder. Find a light that wakes you, let it be your go to place in your mind, be it an entity, person or reason, and hope the rest follows.
Strong piece of writing....and I'll read all you have if it will give you strength.
Good luck dear author...you certainly are not alone.
Best wishes.
RGstar
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2018
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Right here, if you need. I know this well. I once wrote a line in a poem to my daughter, which is here in my portfolio, when drawing away from partner her choice...already had separate beds so young. I said " Alone need not mean lonely"
And let me tell you, after constantly have a million people around me for most of my profession, I also know what is like to enjoy a certain solitude, yet the other tries to force its way in, just when you feel settled, and you begin to wonder. Find a light that wakes you, let it be your go to place in your mind, be it an entity, person or reason, and hope the rest follows.
Strong piece of writing....and I'll read all you have if it will give you strength.
Good luck dear author...you certainly are not alone.
Best wishes.
RGstar
Comment Written 12-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2018
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Thank you, RGstar!
Your inspirational words truly lift me and I appreciate your thoughts and suggestions. I will remember these words,
"Alone need not mean lonely". Thank you for the great review!
sue
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Sueswrite((((((((((((,
firstly... a Happy Belated Birthday wish... hope your day ignited that beautiful smile!
Okay... your first and second line say how content and safe you feel within your solitude, yet your notes suggest quite the opposite... hmmmmm?
And I know I could never interpret your thought pattern fully... for it's your mind and only 'it' knows of the direction you are swirling in.
I feel the use of the word solitude is used a tad too frequently... maybe you can change the word to another, but keep the same meaning with a little more creativity... for it is a free verse and allows itself to such structure.
It is hard not to jump in on the emotional-personal side of your notes... because everybody deserves love, support, respect and companionship from a partner... and if it isn't forthcoming, one would ask why are you still there?
And yes, can't help but go back and read your poem in between reading the notes... working out- correlating... reading between each line and thought.
Only you can change your circumstance... be brave, be strong and most of all, be kind to yourself. The art of self love is a long road to negotiate, but know you are worth every cobbled stone along it's path.
Writing is truly cathartic, it saved me from my internal turmoil more times than I can count... write-write-write! All becomes clearer when thoughts are immortalized... even if only for your eyes.
One thing that did grab me was your lines starting with 'failure'. A fail is one's greatest opportunity of self growth... without failure how does one really know of one's greatest successes?
And yes, I did enjoy reading this poem multiple times... it is full with honest raw-emotion... my favorite!
Be well and may the confusion become clarity to a full, healthy life encompassed within love.
All the very best in this contest!
With our thoughts we create,
the celebration of one's successes.
James vx's.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2018
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Hi Sueswrite((((((((((((,
firstly... a Happy Belated Birthday wish... hope your day ignited that beautiful smile!
Okay... your first and second line say how content and safe you feel within your solitude, yet your notes suggest quite the opposite... hmmmmm?
And I know I could never interpret your thought pattern fully... for it's your mind and only 'it' knows of the direction you are swirling in.
I feel the use of the word solitude is used a tad too frequently... maybe you can change the word to another, but keep the same meaning with a little more creativity... for it is a free verse and allows itself to such structure.
It is hard not to jump in on the emotional-personal side of your notes... because everybody deserves love, support, respect and companionship from a partner... and if it isn't forthcoming, one would ask why are you still there?
And yes, can't help but go back and read your poem in between reading the notes... working out- correlating... reading between each line and thought.
Only you can change your circumstance... be brave, be strong and most of all, be kind to yourself. The art of self love is a long road to negotiate, but know you are worth every cobbled stone along it's path.
Writing is truly cathartic, it saved me from my internal turmoil more times than I can count... write-write-write! All becomes clearer when thoughts are immortalized... even if only for your eyes.
One thing that did grab me was your lines starting with 'failure'. A fail is one's greatest opportunity of self growth... without failure how does one really know of one's greatest successes?
And yes, I did enjoy reading this poem multiple times... it is full with honest raw-emotion... my favorite!
Be well and may the confusion become clarity to a full, healthy life encompassed within love.
All the very best in this contest!
With our thoughts we create,
the celebration of one's successes.
James vx's.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2018
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Hello, Jumbo J.
Thank you so much for your very kind and inspiring review! I appreciate the fact that you actually took the time to dissect each phrase, trying to connect the pieces to this mysterious puzzle poem. You brought something to my attention, which I've been told all too many times, that I am very sarcastic. I also have a sarcastic twitch with my writing. As you have pointed out, that I write how content I am in my solitude. As the poem further reads, the message becomes the opposite, because the chaos that overtakes my thoughts become a nightmare. It's funny at times because I think of the statement we hear, "Our lives flash before us just prior to death". Well, my life flashes in my head just about once a day! LoL!
Anyway, thank you so much, once again for you wonderful and inspiring words, great review and best of all, my happy birthday wish! ( I ate an entire birthday cake, ALL BY MYSELF!)
sue
