To Enter the KIngdom of God
Heaven.4 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
You two lines are yummy. The sensory image will draw the reader in. It makes me think of a dear friend who made me wonderful fleece socks with love. She has passed but my heart is warmed along with my feet. I don't think you could have chosen a more apt description. More wonderful sensory images:
"Fluffy, White, Clouds in such to rest thy Weary Soul!"
'Ginger Bread and Raisin Plum Pudding' that never runs out!" & "The Celestial Orchestra' of Orchestral Delight!" Superb work. A+
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2022
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You two lines are yummy. The sensory image will draw the reader in. It makes me think of a dear friend who made me wonderful fleece socks with love. She has passed but my heart is warmed along with my feet. I don't think you could have chosen a more apt description. More wonderful sensory images:
"Fluffy, White, Clouds in such to rest thy Weary Soul!"
'Ginger Bread and Raisin Plum Pudding' that never runs out!" & "The Celestial Orchestra' of Orchestral Delight!" Superb work. A+
Comment Written 02-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2022
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do Liz.
Its nice when your work is properly reviewed.
Doctor Ricky
Comment from Dawn Munro
What a wonderful entry for this contest! Just a few, small suggestions:
"It will flourish into "A Great Fleece", warm and ready to welcome.. is how I would write that bit.
Next, the next paragraph you wrote: "We will gre(a)t..." when I think you meant "greet". (typo) I would also change "with home enter" to "as we enter home, with the Fullness of Love..."
I would eliminate almost all of the quotation marks too, because they are used for dialogue, and this isn't dialogue (spoken) - it's your (the author's) WRITING/thought.
Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2018
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What a wonderful entry for this contest! Just a few, small suggestions:
"It will flourish into "A Great Fleece", warm and ready to welcome.. is how I would write that bit.
Next, the next paragraph you wrote: "We will gre(a)t..." when I think you meant "greet". (typo) I would also change "with home enter" to "as we enter home, with the Fullness of Love..."
I would eliminate almost all of the quotation marks too, because they are used for dialogue, and this isn't dialogue (spoken) - it's your (the author's) WRITING/thought.
Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 05-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2018
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Thanks! Gratefully Yours,
Ricky.
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My pleasure. :)
Comment from Mustang Patty
Dear Anonymous Author;
Thank you for sharing your sense of place story about Heaven. It will be wonderful to enter the place where He dwells, won't it? We will be free from strife, worries, and pain.
Good luck in the contest,
~patty~
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2018
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Dear Anonymous Author;
Thank you for sharing your sense of place story about Heaven. It will be wonderful to enter the place where He dwells, won't it? We will be free from strife, worries, and pain.
Good luck in the contest,
~patty~
Comment Written 05-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2018
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Thanks!
Gleefully Yours,
Ricky.
Comment from Jean Lutz
Won't that be the glorious day! I especially liked your reference to the Great Fleece warm and ready to be wrapped. Your seventh line from the bottom seems to have a misspelled word "great" -- should that not be greet? Best wishes with your entry.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2018
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Won't that be the glorious day! I especially liked your reference to the Great Fleece warm and ready to be wrapped. Your seventh line from the bottom seems to have a misspelled word "great" -- should that not be greet? Best wishes with your entry.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2018
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THANKS!
Fearfully Yours,
Ricky...
