Reviews from

Too Late To Learn

Recently Married Senyru

11 total reviews 
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
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This is really cute. I like the funny message that this poem conveys. The artwork adds to the humor and is a nice touch. Thanks for sharing this. Well done.

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2018

Comment from Bill Schott
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This senryu about the theme recently married, Too Late to Learn, uses seventeen syllables and gives someone a 'beauty treatment' as someone learns a sad truth about 'desire and reality'.

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2018

Comment from Sandra du Plessis
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A very well-written Senryu about young married couples who quickly get tired of the fun wedding bed and start finding excuses to skip the lust of the other partner.

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2018

Comment from Dean Kuch
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Definition of Senryu: An unrhymed Japanese poem recording the essence of a personal moment. Senryu are more concerned with human nature. They usually consist of three lines of 5/7/5 (5 kana in the first line, 7 kana in the second line, and 5 kana in the third line) totaling seventeen kana.

A good structure for beginning senryu poets is:
a) setting
b) subject and action (on two lines)

1) A Japanese poem similar in structure to haiku, but more concerned with human nature, and is often humorous or satiric -- usually in three lines of seventeen kana. They are usually written in three lines of 17 syllables or LESS.

I like rhyming but it's generally frowned upon in senryu poetry.
Best of luck.

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2018

Comment from apky
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Oh dearie me, I do feel sorry for the poor fellow!

Short, succinct, with the artwork that complements your poem.

If I could reach him, the first advice I'd give him is to reclaim all his
jewellery back. Including the proverbial family ones too, of course.

I wish you all the very best with the contest.

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2018

Comment from donette1914
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this is too funny! the artwork made me laugh. very well chosen words for the contest. well penned poem and it was a pleasure to read your work thank you for sharing your work

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2018

Comment from Dolly'sPoems
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An unequal sex drive is the cause of many marriage break-ups! Your words show the other side of marriage, areas many don't like to discuss, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2018

Comment from Pamusart
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I just found out about this contest by seeing your post. Must be a new contest. This is a good entry for the contest. Very clever about the lust turning into headaches. Lol. But, it happens. Especially to a young couple. Thank you for sharing and best of luck with this poem

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2018

Comment from Debbie Pope
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Well now, that is clever. Sad, but clever. If the judges have any sense of humor at all, you may have a winner. My only suggestion would be to change the font. I had trouble reading it. Or maybe just make the words bigger. Great job though.

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2018


reply by the author on 05-Mar-2018
    Thank you for your comments and good wishes, Debbie. As you suggested, I increased the font size, hoping you find it more legible. This isn't a site contest, so there are no judges, just regular FS voters, who occasionally do have senses of humor.
    Thanks again.
reply by Debbie Pope on 05-Mar-2018
    I can read it much better. Thank you. Eyes are going. I wear magnification 3.5 readers. And, I think that it looks better proportionally.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2018
    Thanks for the reassurance, Debbie.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
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This speaks conjugal life has turned a matter of headache at the lust since wedding; well worded, well done. Thank you for sharing this with us. Good luck with the contest. KEEP WRITING, INSPIRE CHANGING. DR ALCREATOR

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 Comment Written 04-Mar-2018