Flames of Glory
Fall, a symbol of death, is nature at its most beautiful.22 total reviews
Comment from samantha0930
I'm not sure if your poem sees fall as a bad omen for man, since it sounds kind of ominous to me.
I also just want to point out that in your notes there's some sort of glitch going on with your 's.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2018
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I'm not sure if your poem sees fall as a bad omen for man, since it sounds kind of ominous to me.
I also just want to point out that in your notes there's some sort of glitch going on with your 's.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2018
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Thank you. I will look at that.
Comment from Beck Fenton
Because I'm a native Vermonter I relate to your poem on a spiritual level, almost. There is nothing more glorious to me than the exuberant display that autumn brings to the green mountains. Nature's crazy quilt is unbelievable! Good work with the prompt and good luck!
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2018
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Because I'm a native Vermonter I relate to your poem on a spiritual level, almost. There is nothing more glorious to me than the exuberant display that autumn brings to the green mountains. Nature's crazy quilt is unbelievable! Good work with the prompt and good luck!
Comment Written 02-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2018
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Thank you. I love Vermont but have yet to be there in the fall.
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Ah, there is nothing like it! Hope you make it at least once!
Comment from TheodoreJ
Beautiful! Many have certainly thought of the beauty of leaves as they "die," but the way you relate that to human life and/or death is unique and quite clever. I like it!
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2018
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Beautiful! Many have certainly thought of the beauty of leaves as they "die," but the way you relate that to human life and/or death is unique and quite clever. I like it!
Comment Written 02-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2018
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Thank you, Theodore.
Comment from kiwigirl2821
This one gets my vote. It has meaning, beauty, life lessons, and pure magic. I enjoyed the read and the passion with which it was written. good luck. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2018
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This one gets my vote. It has meaning, beauty, life lessons, and pure magic. I enjoyed the read and the passion with which it was written. good luck. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 02-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2018
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Those are very kind words. Thank you, Kiwi.
Comment from rama devi
Fall is my favorite season. This is a marvelous and wise entry for this contest. I love the voicing...what indeed, is in store for us? Glory! This flows well. I do suggest not capping every line, since it reads as a sentence, and also using a ? at the end. Consider, maybe, using a comma as well, since the phrasing has a prose feel to it. Example:
If God sends the leaves
out in such flames of glory,
what's in store for man?
I read this three times and realize I stumble on the phrasing sends "the leaves out" - sends them 'off' would sounds more apropos (my opinion). Considering potential for improving this, while reviewing, I also felt the using of THE and OF and IN weaken the word economy, which is not ideal for short forms. The word SUCH is also sort of 'filler' and not dramatic enough in impact. What about a descriptive word?
Here is an idea to exemplify how you could tighten lines one and two:
If God sends off leaves
in blazing flames of glory,
what's in store for man?
I would vote for this as it stands. With fine tuning...it would lean toward a six! Bravo.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2018
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Fall is my favorite season. This is a marvelous and wise entry for this contest. I love the voicing...what indeed, is in store for us? Glory! This flows well. I do suggest not capping every line, since it reads as a sentence, and also using a ? at the end. Consider, maybe, using a comma as well, since the phrasing has a prose feel to it. Example:
If God sends the leaves
out in such flames of glory,
what's in store for man?
I read this three times and realize I stumble on the phrasing sends "the leaves out" - sends them 'off' would sounds more apropos (my opinion). Considering potential for improving this, while reviewing, I also felt the using of THE and OF and IN weaken the word economy, which is not ideal for short forms. The word SUCH is also sort of 'filler' and not dramatic enough in impact. What about a descriptive word?
Here is an idea to exemplify how you could tighten lines one and two:
If God sends off leaves
in blazing flames of glory,
what's in store for man?
I would vote for this as it stands. With fine tuning...it would lean toward a six! Bravo.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 01-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2018
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Thank you. I am back to the drawing board.
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Happy to help. :)
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
This cute little poem poses many wonderful and thought provoking questions. The way he clothes nature with such a beautiful garment. It truly causes one to ponder such things. I like the way this poem draws the reader in and causes the pondering to begin. Thanks for sharing this well written poem. Well done.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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This cute little poem poses many wonderful and thought provoking questions. The way he clothes nature with such a beautiful garment. It truly causes one to ponder such things. I like the way this poem draws the reader in and causes the pondering to begin. Thanks for sharing this well written poem. Well done.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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Thank you for these kind words, Jeffrey.
Comment from lyenochka
Stunning reflection! The autumn leaves are spectacular as they "die" and fall to the ground. But I never thought of the implication that might show us how death and entry into Heaven may be so much more beautiful than we imagined.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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Stunning reflection! The autumn leaves are spectacular as they "die" and fall to the ground. But I never thought of the implication that might show us how death and entry into Heaven may be so much more beautiful than we imagined.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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Isn't that a nice thought? Thanks so much for reading my poem.
Comment from LIJ Red
Only a few people are as noble and compliant as the leaves...our flames may be a lot hotter...excellent five/seven/five, in my untrained opinion.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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Only a few people are as noble and compliant as the leaves...our flames may be a lot hotter...excellent five/seven/five, in my untrained opinion.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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Let?s hope our flames aren?t hotter! Thanks for your trained opinion.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Autumn is a natural process of the season and everything re-grows in spring. There is a purpose to cycle of renewal, but man will kill without reason, I wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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Autumn is a natural process of the season and everything re-grows in spring. There is a purpose to cycle of renewal, but man will kill without reason, I wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 01-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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Thank you, Dolly. God?s death of mankind is for renewal as well. Sticking with my analogy. What wonder is in store for us?
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks about Fall, a symbol of death, is Nature, most beautiful, flames of glory to man; well worded, well done. Thank you for sharing this with us. Good luck with the contest. WRITE, INSPIRE MAN CHANGE. DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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This speaks about Fall, a symbol of death, is Nature, most beautiful, flames of glory to man; well worded, well done. Thank you for sharing this with us. Good luck with the contest. WRITE, INSPIRE MAN CHANGE. DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 01-Mar-2018
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2018
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Thank you for reviewing my little poem.
