What's a Girl to Do?
Flash fiction under 500 words.14 total reviews
Comment from kathleenspalding
AAAaaaahahahaha!!! I remember Psycho. Good one! This well written piece is entertaining and has a great voice. Excellent choice of artwork.
one nit -
nineteen-sixties, I suppose, [[I - I've]] had a
Also, I don't think you need the commas with the parentheses, or you could put one comma after the last parenthesis. Per Grammarly: Commas may be placed after the closing parenthesis but not before either the opening or the closing parenthesis.
That's it. Great job!
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2018
  |
AAAaaaahahahaha!!! I remember Psycho. Good one! This well written piece is entertaining and has a great voice. Excellent choice of artwork.
one nit -
nineteen-sixties, I suppose, [[I - I've]] had a
Also, I don't think you need the commas with the parentheses, or you could put one comma after the last parenthesis. Per Grammarly: Commas may be placed after the closing parenthesis but not before either the opening or the closing parenthesis.
That's it. Great job!
Comment Written 12-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2018
-
Thanks much for the suggestions-will check on those for sure.
-
You're welcome
Comment from Bill Schott
This flash fiction story, What's a Girl To Do, calls on my memory of both Psycho and Arsonic and Old Lace. Sounds like our lady has made this trip to the crawl space a few times. Great dark humor.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2018
|
This flash fiction story, What's a Girl To Do, calls on my memory of both Psycho and Arsonic and Old Lace. Sounds like our lady has made this trip to the crawl space a few times. Great dark humor.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2018
-
Thanks much Mr. Bill.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi there,
A very entertaining story for the Flash Fiction contest. I had to laugh when you mentioned Psycho and Janet Leigh. I think there is an entire generation of women scarred for life when it comes to showers from one movie.
Some of the sentences need to be restructured for clarity. For example, 'I rolled the old boy up in a carpet that I was ready to get rid of and cleaned up all the blood.' I had difficulty remembering what the subject of the sentence was and then you switched the object and the subject, so I was lost again.
All in all, it's a good story, but a thorough edit will make it great.
~patty~
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2018
 |
Hi there,
A very entertaining story for the Flash Fiction contest. I had to laugh when you mentioned Psycho and Janet Leigh. I think there is an entire generation of women scarred for life when it comes to showers from one movie.
Some of the sentences need to be restructured for clarity. For example, 'I rolled the old boy up in a carpet that I was ready to get rid of and cleaned up all the blood.' I had difficulty remembering what the subject of the sentence was and then you switched the object and the subject, so I was lost again.
All in all, it's a good story, but a thorough edit will make it great.
~patty~
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2018
-
Thanks for the insight- I shall check that out.
Comment from lyenochka
OMG! You have such a wild sense of humor mixed with horror. No, I've never watched "Psycho" but with all the allusions and memes about that shower scene even those under a rock still know about it. Thanks for the giggles.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2018
|
OMG! You have such a wild sense of humor mixed with horror. No, I've never watched "Psycho" but with all the allusions and memes about that shower scene even those under a rock still know about it. Thanks for the giggles.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2018
-
Much appreciate the 5 stars and so pleased you enjoyed. Hopefully it will fare well in the contest.
-
I'm sure it will. You always do great in these contests!
