Ode to the Captured Mountain Lion
I left my dart in San Francisco.38 total reviews
Comment from krys123
( ;~} )
-Cheers, Andre';
-I was immensely entertained by the refreshing communiqué of rhetoric, as those it was coming from a commentator overlooking the biographical account of the mountain lion, cougar, puma, and panther. This account accumulated data and references to the capture of the lion and the re-disbursement of the lion to a different habitat.
-As I was reading this it came to my mind, that At the end of your poem what would be that it would be entered to a story within a poem contest! But when I saw that it was the free verse contest entry, I was even More please because it fits the free verse contest more adequately.
-You know it gets me, Andre', is that we complain or some of us do, of how were abducted by aliens and then I think about the abduction of this mountain Cougar.
- You covered many bases in this writing which made it very entertaining.
-The only sad point of this all is that I haven't any sixes in my coffer.
-Take care my friend and have a good one especially with all those that appreciate your Entertaining qualities and talent.
Alex
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2018
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( ;~} )
-Cheers, Andre';
-I was immensely entertained by the refreshing communiqué of rhetoric, as those it was coming from a commentator overlooking the biographical account of the mountain lion, cougar, puma, and panther. This account accumulated data and references to the capture of the lion and the re-disbursement of the lion to a different habitat.
-As I was reading this it came to my mind, that At the end of your poem what would be that it would be entered to a story within a poem contest! But when I saw that it was the free verse contest entry, I was even More please because it fits the free verse contest more adequately.
-You know it gets me, Andre', is that we complain or some of us do, of how were abducted by aliens and then I think about the abduction of this mountain Cougar.
- You covered many bases in this writing which made it very entertaining.
-The only sad point of this all is that I haven't any sixes in my coffer.
-Take care my friend and have a good one especially with all those that appreciate your Entertaining qualities and talent.
Alex
Comment Written 13-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2018
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Thank you, Alex, for your virtual six review. You write great poetry about California, and especially about your beloved Monterey. I wanted to write a Californian poem that is specific to place, it?s animals, and history. I initially wanted to submit this to a story in a poem contest, but they are all rhymed. So I found this free verse contest whose deadline is in June! Thanks again.
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And you did it very well my friend, Andre', I really enjoyed reading it and you should be proud you've done it. Take care and have a good one and you're welcome.
Alex
Comment from robyn corum
Andre,
At first, I thought this was a protest poem, and was surprised when you were actually saying (I think) that this animal was lucky to be found in this area rather than in some others, where he was to be treated a bit more fairly. What a blessing!
Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2018
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Andre,
At first, I thought this was a protest poem, and was surprised when you were actually saying (I think) that this animal was lucky to be found in this area rather than in some others, where he was to be treated a bit more fairly. What a blessing!
Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 13-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2018
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Yes, Robyn, it is a blessing that this mountain lion was found and relocated by the wildlife wardens. What I wanted to say was more complex than a typical protest song. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
and you will roam your new home
away from our homes,
and hunt deer instead of dogs,
but we will track
your freedom
as long as you live.
A wonderful entry for the free verse contest. This really is special because of the true story behind it and the 1,200 words you have written- like me you really get in to your subjects lol kindest regards and warmest wishes well done love Meiax
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2018
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and you will roam your new home
away from our homes,
and hunt deer instead of dogs,
but we will track
your freedom
as long as you live.
A wonderful entry for the free verse contest. This really is special because of the true story behind it and the 1,200 words you have written- like me you really get in to your subjects lol kindest regards and warmest wishes well done love Meiax
Comment Written 13-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2018
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Yes, Meia, I began this poem in November but put it aside after I carved two poems out of the twelve pages of draft lines and notes. I found in my deletions the beginning and end of this poem and knitted them together by writing the middle. I still have 1,200 leftover words totaling six pages and I may carve two more poems from them. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Rasmine
Hello, Siscat,
This is a good poem that says a lot about the poor wildlife that get stuck with us. :( There is too many of us, and too few of them.
I hope this cat is happy and humans don't interfere a lot.
Take care,
Nome
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2018
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Hello, Siscat,
This is a good poem that says a lot about the poor wildlife that get stuck with us. :( There is too many of us, and too few of them.
I hope this cat is happy and humans don't interfere a lot.
Take care,
Nome
Comment Written 13-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2018
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Yes, Nome, I know this big cat is happier in his new home. Humans don?t always make the best neighbors. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Oh wow i love the whole piece for the contest, i have seen bears shot out of trees and moose killed because they are in town, but this makes my heart soar. You took us through the short history and into the humaine treatment for this magnificient animal as it is released into the wild to life its life, not dead and being burned, or stuffed and displayed
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2018
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Oh wow i love the whole piece for the contest, i have seen bears shot out of trees and moose killed because they are in town, but this makes my heart soar. You took us through the short history and into the humaine treatment for this magnificient animal as it is released into the wild to life its life, not dead and being burned, or stuffed and displayed
Comment Written 13-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2018
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Yes, Barb, I am glad the wildlife wardens found this cougar first, and I am glad my free verse made your heart soars.
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello!
I so appreciate your free verse poem. It draws the reader in from the very beginning. The images are fresh and emotive. The ending catches the reader and makes an all true commentary about creatures - all of us:
"but we will track
your freedom
as long as you live."
Best wishes,
diane
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2018
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Hello!
I so appreciate your free verse poem. It draws the reader in from the very beginning. The images are fresh and emotive. The ending catches the reader and makes an all true commentary about creatures - all of us:
"but we will track
your freedom
as long as you live."
Best wishes,
diane
Comment Written 13-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2018
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Yes, Diane, my poem comments about all of us being tracked as long as we live. Thank you for your review and best wishes.
Comment from jlsavell
Andre,
I am happy to return and see one of my favorite person and poet.
Your work is mesmerizing. You put the reader right beside this beautiful creature.
My son is a conservationist. Works for Louisiana State. He is passionate and big on preservation and rages over man's folly.
Sadly, we invade many species habitat and kill them off because they are threatening and in our way.
I am not a big fan of zoos. It breaks my heart.
I have to appreciate sanctuary's with natural habitats , freedom and wide open spaces. But it can never ever replace their homes. And you are right... the ending superb... brilliant and true.
Man is the cruelest and most devastating species on Earth. Go figure.
Thank you for sharing. Moving, evocative, strong and an eye opener.
Have you read Aldo Leopoldo " The Sans County Almanac"
The most beautiful and sad expression of nature's citizens and habitats. Along with Rachel Carson's Silent Spring
I don't have a six Andre. I apologize.
Jimi
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2018
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Andre,
I am happy to return and see one of my favorite person and poet.
Your work is mesmerizing. You put the reader right beside this beautiful creature.
My son is a conservationist. Works for Louisiana State. He is passionate and big on preservation and rages over man's folly.
Sadly, we invade many species habitat and kill them off because they are threatening and in our way.
I am not a big fan of zoos. It breaks my heart.
I have to appreciate sanctuary's with natural habitats , freedom and wide open spaces. But it can never ever replace their homes. And you are right... the ending superb... brilliant and true.
Man is the cruelest and most devastating species on Earth. Go figure.
Thank you for sharing. Moving, evocative, strong and an eye opener.
Have you read Aldo Leopoldo " The Sans County Almanac"
The most beautiful and sad expression of nature's citizens and habitats. Along with Rachel Carson's Silent Spring
I don't have a six Andre. I apologize.
Jimi
Comment Written 13-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2018
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Oh, thank you, Jimmi, for your expressive review. Hearing from you heartens me. I began and abandoned this poem three months ago when I could not make the middle section work. So I wrote new poems instead from the twelve pages of notes.
Returning to the notes and deleted lines this week, I finally heard the shape the poem wanted to take and finished the center section.
I still have 1,200 leftover words from this poem and will likely craft two or more poems from them. I am beginning to think of the idea of writing an ecological poetry chapbook called ?Wildlife.? So your advice to read Carson and Leopoldo is a good one I will follow.
Thanks again for your review and for reminding me to read those books.
Comment from jaded831
Very interesting, the ending, to me was happy. I'm glad you didn't make your poem sappy. You stated the facts and allowed the reader to feel emotion without crying. Well done. My heart goes out to any wild animal that is restrained for any amount of time.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2018
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Very interesting, the ending, to me was happy. I'm glad you didn't make your poem sappy. You stated the facts and allowed the reader to feel emotion without crying. Well done. My heart goes out to any wild animal that is restrained for any amount of time.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2018
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Yes , Jaded, we both read sappy, preachy poems about wildlife. I present facts ?and allowed the reader to feel emotion without crying.? Thank you for your review.
Comment from Dean Kuch
This is an outstanding entry for the Free Verse Poetry Contest, Andre.
While it is rather sad that mankind consistently encroaches on the habitats of wild animals, such as the mountain lion you have written of here, the sad, sordid truth is that "progress" is not going away any time soon.
However, is it really progress, or simply more pernicious and deleterious eradication?
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2018
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This is an outstanding entry for the Free Verse Poetry Contest, Andre.
While it is rather sad that mankind consistently encroaches on the habitats of wild animals, such as the mountain lion you have written of here, the sad, sordid truth is that "progress" is not going away any time soon.
However, is it really progress, or simply more pernicious and deleterious eradication?
Comment Written 13-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2018
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Yes, Dean, my poem poses the question of whether or not progress is progress for all?man, animals, and nature. Thank you for your encouraging review of my free verse.
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My pleasure as always, Andre.
Comment from misscookie
You captured my attention when I saw the picture you post
Which is a perfect match for your poem
At first I wasn't going to read for I knew it would be sad Yet you told it so pleasant it put my fears at ease
thank you for sharing
Cookie
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2018
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You captured my attention when I saw the picture you post
Which is a perfect match for your poem
At first I wasn't going to read for I knew it would be sad Yet you told it so pleasant it put my fears at ease
thank you for sharing
Cookie
Comment Written 13-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2018
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Yes, Cookie, this was a happy sad poem. Wildlife wardens captured and relicated the mountain lion. I am glad my poem put your fears at ease. Thank you for your review.
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I;'m glad your write put my mind at ease also
Cooke
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Stay on praying ground.
Cookie
