I asked of God...part2
Have a servant heart.45 total reviews
Comment from Boogienights
There is a wonderful rhythm to this poem that is so appealing as it's being read. The content is interesting too, I always like learning and while I've never really studied the bible I like these stories. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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There is a wonderful rhythm to this poem that is so appealing as it's being read. The content is interesting too, I always like learning and while I've never really studied the bible I like these stories. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Thanks again for your support and lovely review, blessings, Roy
Comment from TAB_that's me
Even cleaning the toilet is a gift to God. I like the fun and humor in this, Roy, as well as your strong faith.
~~Teresa~~
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Even cleaning the toilet is a gift to God. I like the fun and humor in this, Roy, as well as your strong faith.
~~Teresa~~
Comment Written 12-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Thanks Teresa, yes that's true, I'm not that fastidious, but I do my best, thanks for great review, blessings, Roy
Comment from rama devi
Nice quote in your notes. I love how your approached this contest with a true story laced with divine inspiration. This poem has the same good qualities I listed in the review of your other poem, so I'll just write ditto here (I really need to get to work but Fanstory is a vortex and your first one drew me in so I had to read your second!)
Favorite lines:
if you will seek a leader's crown, then you'll a servant be,I wash your feet, and that's my treat, to set your proud heart free."
and also:
He also said, "Just grab a mop, and clean the bathroom floor,
then fetch a brush, get off your tush, the toilet bowl's your chore."
Once, someone asked my guru, Amma, what true selfless service is. She replied, without missing a beat, "At a public function, go to the bathroom and clean it without anyone seeing what you've done and without telling anyone."
A bunch of spag nits:
I said to God(,) (")I am perplexed, as cleaning's not my way;(.")
h(H)e spoke this word, "d(D)on't be absurd, I'll guide you through each day."
"To be a servant(,) you must be upon your bended knee;
contrite of heart, to be a part, that is the Lord's decree."
Though He is Lord(,) He washed their feet, but Peter said,"No way,
you are so great that we should fete, so hear me when I say"
He looked at me and said these words, "I am your Lord(,) that's true,
then, I'm your teacher and your king, but, this wisdom give to you(:)
if you will seek a leader's crown, then you'll a servant be,(add space)I wash your feet(,) and that's my treat, to set your proud heart free."
"Your love and worship raises me to rule upon my throne,
for that is why I share my wealth,(no ,) and take you for my own.
I give you life, remove all strife, to set you free from sin,(;)
I call you friend and brother, kin, your freedom -- I will win."
Love the theme, the humble tone an sincerity. Nicely narrated in story style with dialog.
Blessings, rd
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Nice quote in your notes. I love how your approached this contest with a true story laced with divine inspiration. This poem has the same good qualities I listed in the review of your other poem, so I'll just write ditto here (I really need to get to work but Fanstory is a vortex and your first one drew me in so I had to read your second!)
Favorite lines:
if you will seek a leader's crown, then you'll a servant be,I wash your feet, and that's my treat, to set your proud heart free."
and also:
He also said, "Just grab a mop, and clean the bathroom floor,
then fetch a brush, get off your tush, the toilet bowl's your chore."
Once, someone asked my guru, Amma, what true selfless service is. She replied, without missing a beat, "At a public function, go to the bathroom and clean it without anyone seeing what you've done and without telling anyone."
A bunch of spag nits:
I said to God(,) (")I am perplexed, as cleaning's not my way;(.")
h(H)e spoke this word, "d(D)on't be absurd, I'll guide you through each day."
"To be a servant(,) you must be upon your bended knee;
contrite of heart, to be a part, that is the Lord's decree."
Though He is Lord(,) He washed their feet, but Peter said,"No way,
you are so great that we should fete, so hear me when I say"
He looked at me and said these words, "I am your Lord(,) that's true,
then, I'm your teacher and your king, but, this wisdom give to you(:)
if you will seek a leader's crown, then you'll a servant be,(add space)I wash your feet(,) and that's my treat, to set your proud heart free."
"Your love and worship raises me to rule upon my throne,
for that is why I share my wealth,(no ,) and take you for my own.
I give you life, remove all strife, to set you free from sin,(;)
I call you friend and brother, kin, your freedom -- I will win."
Love the theme, the humble tone an sincerity. Nicely narrated in story style with dialog.
Blessings, rd
Comment Written 12-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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This was a punctuation nightmare for me dear RD, so, thank you, thank you, thank you, dear friend, for the review and corrections, blessings, Roy
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This was a punctuation nightmare for me dear RD, so, thank you, thank you, thank you, dear friend, for the review and corrections, blessings, Roy
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:-)))))
Comment from krys123
Cheers, Roy;
-befuddled I was at first I figured is the best thing I could do when asked to come to the table is to find a highchair or simply sit on a stool lower than everybody else. No just kidding. Chuckle! I can see being humble is actually a natural state of affairs as it is also proven to be so true in animal kingdom. That is when a so-called opponent will humble itself to another species or one of the same kind. A natural order of things.
-People are normally attracted to people who are humble. Some more of an evil nature will take it on themselves to raise themselves above those who are humble. This very unnatural But Still exists.
-I like his fun very much that has a lot to teach and understand and thanks for sharing this, Roy, and take care and have a good one.
Alex
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Cheers, Roy;
-befuddled I was at first I figured is the best thing I could do when asked to come to the table is to find a highchair or simply sit on a stool lower than everybody else. No just kidding. Chuckle! I can see being humble is actually a natural state of affairs as it is also proven to be so true in animal kingdom. That is when a so-called opponent will humble itself to another species or one of the same kind. A natural order of things.
-People are normally attracted to people who are humble. Some more of an evil nature will take it on themselves to raise themselves above those who are humble. This very unnatural But Still exists.
-I like his fun very much that has a lot to teach and understand and thanks for sharing this, Roy, and take care and have a good one.
Alex
Comment Written 12-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Wonderful review Alex thank you, yes, it's a little presumptive to sit at the high place. Beautiful review Alex, thanks mate, Roy
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Wonderful review Alex thank you, yes, it's a little presumptive to sit at the high place. Beautiful review Alex, thanks mate, Roy
Comment from robina1978
Nice photo that complements your poem perfectly. I remember your first poem. This one is at least equally good. You have to bend on your knee to wash His feet. You object, but God says this way you will move higher and higher.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Nice photo that complements your poem perfectly. I remember your first poem. This one is at least equally good. You have to bend on your knee to wash His feet. You object, but God says this way you will move higher and higher.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Thanks Ine for these wonderful words and great review, blessings, Roy
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Thanks Ine for these wonderful words and great review, blessings, Roy
Comment from Janet Foor
A servant's heart is a beautiful concept for being a child of the King and trying following in His footsteps.
A wonderful second part to the story.
Very well done Roy.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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A servant's heart is a beautiful concept for being a child of the King and trying following in His footsteps.
A wonderful second part to the story.
Very well done Roy.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 12-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Thanks Janet, for these marvellous words and great review, blessings, Roy
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Thanks Janet, for these marvellous words and great review, blessings, Roy
Comment from Winslow
Dear Roy,
The Lord indeed was a humble man and advised others to follow his lead. For all God's people deserve to be honored no matter what their status.
Warm regards,
Winslow
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Dear Roy,
The Lord indeed was a humble man and advised others to follow his lead. For all God's people deserve to be honored no matter what their status.
Warm regards,
Winslow
Comment Written 12-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Thanks again, Winslow for your sage words and encouraging review, blessings, Roy
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Thanks again, Winslow for your sage words and encouraging review, blessings, Roy
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I see evil Eddie got in there and didn't move that twelfth line down where it should have been. It is true, the Lord wants us to be humble. To love our fellow man as we love ourselves. We are all a part of Him. Well done my friend. Nancy
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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I see evil Eddie got in there and didn't move that twelfth line down where it should have been. It is true, the Lord wants us to be humble. To love our fellow man as we love ourselves. We are all a part of Him. Well done my friend. Nancy
Comment Written 12-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Thanks Nancy for these marvellous words and great review, blessings, Roy
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Thanks Nancy for these marvellous words and great review, blessings, Roy
Comment from Cedar
Another great poem, Roy. With the exception of that extra long line in the third stanza. Did you mean to make that a four-line stanza? Take care...Bill
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Another great poem, Roy. With the exception of that extra long line in the third stanza. Did you mean to make that a four-line stanza? Take care...Bill
Comment Written 12-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Thanks again Bill,for these words of wisdom, and marvellous, I'll have a look review, blessings, Roy
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Thanks again Bill,for these words of wisdom, and marvellous, I'll have a look review, blessings, Roy
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
This is an excellently done piece on faith and truly listening to the voice that is hidden and yet speaks volumns. Very well done using the double internal rhyme that makes it very passionate
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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This is an excellently done piece on faith and truly listening to the voice that is hidden and yet speaks volumns. Very well done using the double internal rhyme that makes it very passionate
Comment Written 12-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Thanks again Barb, for these marvellous words and outstanding review and starsblessings, Roy
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Thanks again Barb, for these marvellous words and outstanding review and starsblessings, Roy
