The Life of Mrs. Armstrong
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "The End of Week Two."Out of retirement..
4 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Interesting turn of events! I am glad you wisely just asked if anyone wanted to talk after class. It makes it safer for that person who just drew on the test to come forward. I hope we'll find out what the problem is!
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2021
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Interesting turn of events! I am glad you wisely just asked if anyone wanted to talk after class. It makes it safer for that person who just drew on the test to come forward. I hope we'll find out what the problem is!
Comment Written 13-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2021
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Thank you for reviewing and your great comments, Helene. Hugs n smiles!
Comment from Pantygynt
I have meant to mention this before. In prose writing on this site the accepted format is to have a line space between paragraphs. I mention this in case you should ever enter a contest. Judges may disqualify you or decline to vote for your work if it does not comply with this formatting custom. It also presents a more welcoming aspect if the text is broken by these spaces.
you leave us with a cliff-hanger this time, who turned in the blank papers and why? I can hardly wait.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2018
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I have meant to mention this before. In prose writing on this site the accepted format is to have a line space between paragraphs. I mention this in case you should ever enter a contest. Judges may disqualify you or decline to vote for your work if it does not comply with this formatting custom. It also presents a more welcoming aspect if the text is broken by these spaces.
you leave us with a cliff-hanger this time, who turned in the blank papers and why? I can hardly wait.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2018
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Once again thank you for reviewing. Normally I do provide spaces between paragraphs but this time I just totally forgot it, I do know what you mean; it is easier to read and to follow through with spaces. Ahaaa the olde cliff-hanger, I shall try to answer that shortly. It feels great to know I managed a cliff-hanger lol. Again thanks.
Comment from royowen
How very interesting, instead of doing his written test, he sits doodling one the back of his exam paper, I wonder Why? But you've set yourself, to finding out the reason why, well done, blesings, Roy
Typo : They meant something(,) but what.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2018
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How very interesting, instead of doing his written test, he sits doodling one the back of his exam paper, I wonder Why? But you've set yourself, to finding out the reason why, well done, blesings, Roy
Typo : They meant something(,) but what.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2018
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Thank you so much for reviewing and for your kind comments, they were constructive and useful. Corrections will be made.
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Welcome
Comment from Dan Diego
Reviewed without the benefit of previous chapters.
First, I wanted to point out that the reading did suffer under the presentation. By that, I mean the story could use some white space between the paragraphs. If you did not know, you are able to navigate to your story, edit it, fix mistakes, then re-save without penalty. I do that quite a bit.
Second, the storytelling is excellent. I was able to easily understand the narrator and his internal monologue.
Here are my editorial notes:
You wrote: ... twenty-five labelling, I gave each ...
I suggest: ... twenty-five labeling, I gave each ... (my spellchecker caught this)
You wrote: until lunch time to complete ...
I suggest: until lunchtime to complete ...
You wrote: ... on all pages please.
I suggest: ... on all pages, please.
You wrote: This was the case of my peanut ...
I suggest: This was the case with my peanut ...
You wrote: There was a name and date ...
I suggest: There were a name and date ...
You wrote: ... and not labelling to the diagrams.
I suggest: ... and not labeling the diagrams.
You wrote: ...and request an explanation.
I suggest: ...and request an explanation?
You wrote: ...against their grades.
I suggest: ...against their grades?
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2018
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Reviewed without the benefit of previous chapters.
First, I wanted to point out that the reading did suffer under the presentation. By that, I mean the story could use some white space between the paragraphs. If you did not know, you are able to navigate to your story, edit it, fix mistakes, then re-save without penalty. I do that quite a bit.
Second, the storytelling is excellent. I was able to easily understand the narrator and his internal monologue.
Here are my editorial notes:
You wrote: ... twenty-five labelling, I gave each ...
I suggest: ... twenty-five labeling, I gave each ... (my spellchecker caught this)
You wrote: until lunch time to complete ...
I suggest: until lunchtime to complete ...
You wrote: ... on all pages please.
I suggest: ... on all pages, please.
You wrote: This was the case of my peanut ...
I suggest: This was the case with my peanut ...
You wrote: There was a name and date ...
I suggest: There were a name and date ...
You wrote: ... and not labelling to the diagrams.
I suggest: ... and not labeling the diagrams.
You wrote: ...and request an explanation.
I suggest: ...and request an explanation?
You wrote: ...against their grades.
I suggest: ...against their grades?
Comment Written 06-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2018
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing and catching those fixes I need to do. I really appreciate your depth.
