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Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Last Thing You See"
Shorter stories

30 total reviews 
Comment from jppoet
Excellent
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Yep, here again you show us your affinity with words, images and sensitivities. The photo could have been more sympathetic but your story does all the talking. jp

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
    Thanks, jp
Comment from judiverse
Excellent
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Excellent job of telling a story in the 100 word limit. You did a great job of keeping to the essentials and you have a solid beginning, middle, and end. The words uttered at the beginning come back at the end. Dink seems to be acting out of a sense of self-loathing. Fourth paragraph from the bottom, separate the words front of. You've made them look like one word. Best of luck with this. judi

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
    Thanks, Judi. I have been chasing that spacing error on my IPhone. Fix one whole and create another.
reply by judiverse on 03-Feb-2018
    You're welcome. It's always something. I have a problem with getting repeated letters when I enter a word. judi
Comment from giraffmang
Excellent
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Hi Bill,

A supper little piece you've conjured up here. Very nice indeed, echoing a substandard taxi-driver moment. lol

Very nicely worked.
G

mirror in frontof him. - spacing here.

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
    Thanks, g, for the great review and help.
Comment from pbomar1115
Excellent
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The story was mystifying from the beginning. I was curious. Although I had a few ideas to what was going to happen, suicide never entered my mind. The story surprised me.

Phillip

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
    Thanks, Phillip. Glad to run one up on you. Bill
reply by pbomar1115 on 03-Feb-2018
    Sure, Bill.

    Phillip
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This has an interesting twist that I never saw coming. It's a fantastic entry in the Flash Fiction contest. I'd wager that it's a sure winner. How about splitting the winnings with me. I entered the contest too, but my entry isn't very good.

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
    Thanks, Thomas, I really appreciate the terrific review. Bill
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Excellent
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Hello my friend short but lacking nothing a very entertaining read that I enjoyed showing that it can be done even with the limitations good luck ... Jill

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
    Thanks, Mrs P.
Comment from frogbook
Excellent
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Now that was definitely and original my friend. To laugh or cry??? HMMM, let me see. You should do well in the contest with this chilling tale.

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
    Thank you, FB
Comment from Sherman541
Excellent
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What a nasty twist that was! Perhaps being a bully does not pay and you truly get what you got coming. Karma they say, catches up to you. Nicely done short Fiction Flash! Good Luck and Best Wishes in the Contest! Sherman541

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
    Thanks, Sherman
reply by Sherman541 on 02-Feb-2018
    you are welcome
Comment from F. Wehr3
Excellent
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Good piece of flash, Bill. Yeah, I don't think Dink will be competing with Robert De Niro, lol. I noticed a couple of things as I read.

mirror in front

of him.--Just a spacing error here

He scratched his temple with the pistol and it fired.--Technically it's two sentences. Suggest a comma before and.

Good luck in the contest,
Russell

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
    Thanks, Russell, for the helpful review. Bill
Comment from robina1978
Excellent
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The artwork is excellent and complements your 100 word Flash Fiction very well. Can't you take one word out, if are just over? Do you describe a suicide here? Best wishes for the contest.

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
    The contest allows a spread of 98 to 102 words. I have edited out fifty words to get to this point. Thanks, Ine, for reviewing.