Reviews from

Sixteen percent

Non isosceles nonet

15 total reviews 
Comment from Dawn Munro
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First, your notes. Only sixteen percent are at poverty level in America?Are you sure? There's a lot more here (Canada), though I'm suspicious that our governments would have us believe it's not so...

This is a knockout, IMO - a powerful nonet (and plenty close enough to the triangle shape). Wow. SO evocative - so damn sad because it HAPPENS!

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
    When I start to tackle a new poetic form, I try to start with one of my stock ideas, and poverty and children in single-parent homes is one. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Priest B. Brown
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I think it looks pretty good!

And your right, double-digit poverty as the middle-class shrinks, falling below that ever-encroaching line of lack, while the top grows not in number but in wealth.

Great poem!

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2018
    When I try a new form, I drag out one of my stock valid messages, like the tragedy of poverty and single parents, then plug in the words. Making a halfway symmetrical nonet calls for a LOT of word plugging. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from frierajac
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This is quite a sad poem. Its ragged edge is proof of the subject being heart rending.
I often wonder about the fact of poverty being endemic in America. Living near the
border I find it almost daily.

 Comment Written 01-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 01-Feb-2018
    The sixteen percent figure came from a MSN blurb last week. Yet, having an old house paid for, and a car, and living alone, I am doing quite well at less than poverty level. I don't know how a renter with children would survive. Thanks for reading and reviewing my ragged nonet...
reply by frierajac on 01-Feb-2018
    your welcome
Comment from Gloria ....
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Ellijay I think this is a wonderful nonet. You will find that punctuation gets in the way particularly at the end. But is best is you've used an unforgiving font and it works beautifully. Is it really only 16% of Americans that live at poverty level? That percentage is only going to increase because sadly robots are making people redundant. I think it's Amazon now that just records your price on the way out the door, without any cashier at all.

Anyway I do tend to ramble about this subject.

Great job!

Gloria

 Comment Written 01-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 01-Feb-2018
    Thank you for reading and reviewing, Gloria. Yes, you said I should try one, so I did. Lots of fun in a aggravating way.
reply by Gloria .... on 01-Feb-2018
    I quite enjoy the challenge of getting the nonet triangular. Yours is great1
Comment from lyenochka
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Such a sad one particularly it's some child's reality. What I find most impressive about your nonet is the monorhyme all throughout. And it seems to be almost an equilateral triangle. Great job!

 Comment Written 01-Feb-2018


reply by the author on 01-Feb-2018
    Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. It was fun trying to make a perfect triangle, but a brainteaser of a project.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
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This is a clever Nonet and should have been in the contest! Loving the rhyming words at the end of each line and your poem has a message too, genius, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
    A well-known Fanstorian dared me to try for a symmetrical nonet, so I did. Great fun, but I couldn't get it just the way I wanted it. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from robyn corum
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Lige,

There will always be sadness and death and poverty and all the rest of those horrible ills among us. It's a horrible and tragic fact of life. But it's nice to remember from time to time that they ARE there and that we can do what we can to help. Thanks for the reminder.

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
    Thanks very much for reading and reviewing my nonet, Robyn. I was trying for an equilateral triangle with straight sides, but that game wasn't worth the candle. The MSN says sixteen percent of Americans live at the poverty level. In most states a family on one minimum wage income will find no decent quarters to rent. That is kinda scary.
Comment from damommy
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I like your non-isosceles triangle. I have seen only a couple that are true triangles. I admire you for writing one. And rhyming it, too.

It has a good message, and that counts a lot with me.


 Comment Written 31-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
    I realized that changing fonts could demolish a precision triangle, and that the shortest line is supposed to be one syllable or it's no nonet, so I bore down on the message and posted it. It was a fun project, but I gave up. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
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A very well-written Nonet and a very close to a perfect triangle. I've done a few myself it is not very easy to get the perfect triangle and still make sense with the message.

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
    Thanks for reading and reviewing. I counted quiet (kwite) as one syllable. I changed it to mute. This is a braintease project. I gave up.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
Excellent
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It's a find Nonet and managed a triangle with a flat bottom. Nothing wrong with that.
The story told her is tragic but the verse is well written. Well rhymed.
Well done and thank you for sharing your 'almost' perfect triangle with us.
Sharon

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 31-Jan-2018
    A nonet ends with a one syllable line, or it's not a nonet. I don't think a question mark or exclamation point is a syllable. I had a lot of fun trying this, even if I came up short. Thanks for reading and reviewing.