Reviews from

Perennials of War

Viewing comments for Chapter 61 "Chapter Neunzehn part eins"
Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan

27 total reviews 
Comment from jppoet
Excellent
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an excellent rendition, this chapter of your story continues its narration now unto Fanstory recognition. I enjoy your names and characterizations of each actor on this stage. And your reference to chicken piccata reminds me of my poem now on Fanstory called "I AM SPAGHETTI".
john

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2018
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ben Colder
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level


From the day a young lady jumped into an automobile by mistake running from those who hide in dark to where she is today brings the plot into serious wonder. Screams in the night.

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2018
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from rtobaygo
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Good morning, Barbara

Enjoyed the continuation. It appears Shana has become a lot more interested about Anderson's background. The flow, dialogue and interactions between both characters were spot on. One could see how Shana is struggling to understand the differences between her and Anderson's worlds:

"I don't like it, but I don't really have a choice, do I? In my world people don't need to carry weapons."

"I understand, but you've accidentally stepped in the world of the Russian mafia. They play for keeps.
"
Question: What and where is the Gold Coast? -- took them to the Gold Coast,

Take care and stay safe,

Ray

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2018
    Thank you for the kind review. The Gold Coast is the Rich area of Chicago. I don't know why they call it that. I guess because they're rich. LOL
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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Oh, what was she dreaming about to make her scream out? I shall have to wait and see. This was a really interesting part, Barbara, we've learned how Anderson came by his billions, and about his family. I wonder how he is going to get Shana to trust him completely. Her upbringing has been pretty strict. Another excellent part, my friend, and I lovely hook at the end. :) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2018
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from giraffmang
Excellent
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Hi Barbara,

Some good background information on Anderson here.

said good-byes for the evening - goodbyes can be a single word.

and onto the rented condo - I think in this instance is should be two words - on to. (onto suggests on top of rather than travelling onwards)

her well-being is always on my mind - wellbeing can be a single word.

Anderson adjusted his watch band - watchband can be a single word, although personally I prefer watchstrap.


 Comment Written 22-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2018
    Thank you for the kind review. I have made suggestions. I hold my breathe as I read your reviews. I respect your writing so much that I always worry about your reviews. My goal is to write as clean as you do. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking time to review me.
Comment from Zue65
Excellent
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This post proved to be a promising prelude to another exciting chapter between Shana and Anderson. I am really a sucker for romance, as I have always admitted and your post just satisfied my cravings for such. Thanks for sharing your excellent write. God bless.

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2018
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
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Terrific chapter. Seems like Shana is having nightmares. WHo could blame her?

I have to wonder why the Russian Mafia wants that painting. Is there something hidden under it that is worth more?

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2018
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from rama devi
Excellent
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As usual, you have a dramatic closing hook. Good characterization, pacing and dialog. I like these two characters. Good development of the affinity between them between the lines.

No nits other than a couple of spags noted below:


*After Shana and Hannah said good-byes(goodbyes is one word, I believe) for the evening,(no ,) and Anderson made plans to have dinner delivered for Paul and Hannah, they were ready to leave the hospital.

"Your chariot waits." Anderson placed his hand on the small of Shana's back, scanned the area, and led her out the hospital's main entrance, (no ,) and to the armored limousine that waited a few feet away.


Warmly, rd

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2018
    Thank you for the kind review. I have made the corrections.
reply by rama devi on 27-Jan-2018
    :-))
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Again, in continuation chapter of this romance fiction is well said, well done, fantastic is the introductory catch and nice flown plot, realistic dialogues and characterization, a resolved ending; DR ALCREATOR

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2018
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from barkingdog
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi, barbara.
It's been a while since I've reviewed your story. It has come a long way. I love how you have developed the story and your main characters. Those you have added have broadened the story and filled in the character's pasts.
Again, your realistic dialogue keeps the story running at a smooth pace.
I found this section very visual, especially the after dinner ice in front of the TV.
Take care,
:) e



 Comment Written 21-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2018
    Thank you for the kind review. I'm happy to have you review me.