The stranger
Twisted youth5 total reviews
Comment from frogbook
Oooh eee that was a scary one all right. Thank goodness the mother was deemed useful. Great, original idea and a sure contender for first place.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018
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Oooh eee that was a scary one all right. Thank goodness the mother was deemed useful. Great, original idea and a sure contender for first place.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018
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Thank you frogbook for the awesome review my friend.
God bless
Comment from zekeziemann
Horror it definitely is and shows! I do not understand it quite, but it held my attention throughout. I guess I'll stick with my Westerns.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018
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Horror it definitely is and shows! I do not understand it quite, but it held my attention throughout. I guess I'll stick with my Westerns.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018
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LOL! Thank you for the awesome review my friend.
God bless!
Comment from Dean Kuch
At just 129 words (by my count) this micro flash horror fiction tale comes in well under the limit of between 100-200 words as set by the creator of the contest.
"Time shall reveal, who we will become." ... My guess?
Jeffrey Dahmer.
A chilling tiny tale of terror which could be cut from the pages of today's news.
Good luck!
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018
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At just 129 words (by my count) this micro flash horror fiction tale comes in well under the limit of between 100-200 words as set by the creator of the contest.
"Time shall reveal, who we will become." ... My guess?
Jeffrey Dahmer.
A chilling tiny tale of terror which could be cut from the pages of today's news.
Good luck!
Comment Written 05-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018
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Thank you Dean for the awesome review my friend. Oh Jeffrey Dahmer, now that was a weird fellow.
God bless!
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Yes, he sure was.
Have a great weekend.
~Dean :)
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You too Dean
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
Even in such a short piece you might want to look at your sentence structure here. Half of your paragraphs start with the word I. A simple restructuring could remedy this. 7 sentences out of 10.
the idea of removing mothers head - mother's.
Yep, that seems to be pretty much how it starts. Chilling, and unnerving.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018
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Hi there,
Even in such a short piece you might want to look at your sentence structure here. Half of your paragraphs start with the word I. A simple restructuring could remedy this. 7 sentences out of 10.
the idea of removing mothers head - mother's.
Yep, that seems to be pretty much how it starts. Chilling, and unnerving.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 05-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018
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Thank you GMG for the awesome review. I feel the same about the I's, but It was down to the wire and late last night when i crafted this piece. Not sure about changing it up during the contest.
God bless
Comment from Sharon Haiste
This is a good and interesting story for the 'Horror' writing prompt.
A story well told and clear. Definitely fits the bill as a horror story.
Good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018
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This is a good and interesting story for the 'Horror' writing prompt.
A story well told and clear. Definitely fits the bill as a horror story.
Good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 05-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018
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Thank you Sharon for the awesome review my friend.
God bless
