This Time - That Time 2
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Another Disappointment for Veronica "Veronica is sent back again
31 total reviews
Comment from alexisleech
Another great chapter, Sandra. As usual, the banter is natural between Veronica, Mildred and James. It pulls you in and makes you feel as though you're in the room with them - a rare talent in a writer!
I'm looking forward to part 2!
Hugs from a wet and windy France,
Alexis xxx
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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Another great chapter, Sandra. As usual, the banter is natural between Veronica, Mildred and James. It pulls you in and makes you feel as though you're in the room with them - a rare talent in a writer!
I'm looking forward to part 2!
Hugs from a wet and windy France,
Alexis xxx
Comment Written 04-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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Thank you so very much, Alexis, for another wonderful review and all those lovely stars. Your continued encouragement means a lot to me, thank, my friend! :) Sandra xxx
Comment from mbroyles2
Another great chapter is the tales of Veronica.
I surprised she can keep herself sane with the time travelling and juggling the past with the present.
It would give me a headache.
I love how you make your characters so easy to connect with.
Makes reading this story a joy.
Michael
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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Another great chapter is the tales of Veronica.
I surprised she can keep herself sane with the time travelling and juggling the past with the present.
It would give me a headache.
I love how you make your characters so easy to connect with.
Makes reading this story a joy.
Michael
Comment Written 04-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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What a lovely thing to say, Michael, thank you so very much. I don't know about Veronica, but she's certainly driving me potty! lol. Thank you for the lovely 6 stars, my friend, that is so kind of you. I wish you a happy, successful 2018! Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xx
How is your editing coming along? It's the fun part! I'll be sure to buy it, it's my type of reading, and my husbands and it's every bit as good as the ones we read from traditionally published authors.
Comment from Rasmine
Sandra,
Good chapter. The ending leaves me wanting the next. :)
I really like these sentences;
I was falling about laughing. 'You goes poppin' off on your travels and comes back to us at the same time you left. We don't know if you been and gone, or gone and come back!'
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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Sandra,
Good chapter. The ending leaves me wanting the next. :)
I really like these sentences;
I was falling about laughing. 'You goes poppin' off on your travels and comes back to us at the same time you left. We don't know if you been and gone, or gone and come back!'
Comment Written 04-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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Thank you, Rasmine, I'm glad you liked the ending. :) I needed to get her back pretty quickly, she has a lot to sort out. Big hugs, Sandra. xxx
Comment from rama devi
Another excellent chapter that drew me in. I loved the ending, too. Good pacing, characterization and dialog with diction to enhance the voices well! Good sentence mechanics as ell, though there are a few spag nits, noted below:
*
'I happened upon a manual down in our archives,(no ,) called, 'Times Gone By,(no ,)' only last week, and I came across that very word.
* I've known people come in here to research their family history,(no ,) and unearth some amazing things.
* and it transpired she was a descendent of a crowned prince in some faraway, little-known country.'
descendant is US spelling. Not sure if the above is UK or a typo.
*Come on, let's get this cuppa going(,) and then I think it'll be time to fetch Ann from school.
I sighed. 'Yes, I agree, but thankfully, Ann and Michael adore them, and love them just as much in return. I hope it makes up a little for not having their own.'
***
Once the children were tucked up in bed,(no ,) and James had showered and changed out of his hospital clothes, we had a pre-dinner drink before sitting down at the table.
*
'I would rather you not find out!' he replied.
Suggest trimming speech tag there and here too:
'I've just had a really funny thought, well, not funny,' he said, his expression suddenly serious. '
Also, a spacing typo - and it would be optimal to use a stronger verb and to avoid the word suddenly. Edit idea:
'I've just had a really funny thought, well, not funny.' His expression grew serious.'
* 'Well(,) think on it,' she said after a couple of seconds. '
I love the closing twist in the chapter, so well depicted right after the banter about the very same thing:
I held up my glass for James to fill ... and found myself standing outside the cottage with my hand still stretched out. What was even more confusing was the fact that I was no longer holding my glass, but a piece of what looked very much like chocolate!
This drew me in and held my attention. Nice to see a new chapter today!
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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Another excellent chapter that drew me in. I loved the ending, too. Good pacing, characterization and dialog with diction to enhance the voices well! Good sentence mechanics as ell, though there are a few spag nits, noted below:
*
'I happened upon a manual down in our archives,(no ,) called, 'Times Gone By,(no ,)' only last week, and I came across that very word.
* I've known people come in here to research their family history,(no ,) and unearth some amazing things.
* and it transpired she was a descendent of a crowned prince in some faraway, little-known country.'
descendant is US spelling. Not sure if the above is UK or a typo.
*Come on, let's get this cuppa going(,) and then I think it'll be time to fetch Ann from school.
I sighed. 'Yes, I agree, but thankfully, Ann and Michael adore them, and love them just as much in return. I hope it makes up a little for not having their own.'
***
Once the children were tucked up in bed,(no ,) and James had showered and changed out of his hospital clothes, we had a pre-dinner drink before sitting down at the table.
*
'I would rather you not find out!' he replied.
Suggest trimming speech tag there and here too:
'I've just had a really funny thought, well, not funny,' he said, his expression suddenly serious. '
Also, a spacing typo - and it would be optimal to use a stronger verb and to avoid the word suddenly. Edit idea:
'I've just had a really funny thought, well, not funny.' His expression grew serious.'
* 'Well(,) think on it,' she said after a couple of seconds. '
I love the closing twist in the chapter, so well depicted right after the banter about the very same thing:
I held up my glass for James to fill ... and found myself standing outside the cottage with my hand still stretched out. What was even more confusing was the fact that I was no longer holding my glass, but a piece of what looked very much like chocolate!
This drew me in and held my attention. Nice to see a new chapter today!
Love,
rd
Comment Written 04-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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Hi Rama! Happy New Year, my friend! I hope you have a wonderful year. Thank you so much for this wonderful review and all the help you've given me, I really appreciate it. I've made all the corrections!! :) I so pleased you are still enjoying this story. Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xxx
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Hi, dear friend. Hope you have a wonderful year too. I like your characters and time-jumps!
Big hugs,
rd
Comment from Jay Squires
You shouldn't apologize for lopping your chapter in half when you found such a brilliant place to do it. You create
The Record Office wasn't very busy [The RECORD(S) Office ...]
I've learnt a lot about how people came by them. [I wonder if you should have her be a bit more "telling" about what "them" referred to. Does it refer to names? I almost didn't include this, but I figured if it gave me pause, it might give other readers the same.]
'Hmm, yes, tis alright, Doctor James, she's still with us,' she said when I yelped and they both burst out laughing. [Now let me see if I can articulate this: I would suggest you separate the "and they both burst out laughing," by either a full stop or a semicolon. To not do that could cause the reader to misconstrue the meaning by thinking their burst of laughter was CONNECTED TO the yelping, instead of being A RESULT OF the action. I hope that makes sense. If not, get back with me.]
Every time I read one of your chapters I regret not having continued to read it from the beginning. And now I can't go back and make up the missed parts. It seems like I'm rushing from one thing to another and never finish what I anticipated at the beginning of the day. Ah, well, the same for everyone, I suppose. Anyway, what I'm trying to say, is I love your style and your story-line. And if those dunderhead editors can't see what you have here ... you should publish them yourself on Amazon. If you DO decide to do that, let me know so I can give you some recommended reading on self-publishing. Over the past year I've made an exhaustive (read that also as exhausting) study of Indy-publishing.
You should be quite proud of your body of work.
Jay
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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You shouldn't apologize for lopping your chapter in half when you found such a brilliant place to do it. You create
The Record Office wasn't very busy [The RECORD(S) Office ...]
I've learnt a lot about how people came by them. [I wonder if you should have her be a bit more "telling" about what "them" referred to. Does it refer to names? I almost didn't include this, but I figured if it gave me pause, it might give other readers the same.]
'Hmm, yes, tis alright, Doctor James, she's still with us,' she said when I yelped and they both burst out laughing. [Now let me see if I can articulate this: I would suggest you separate the "and they both burst out laughing," by either a full stop or a semicolon. To not do that could cause the reader to misconstrue the meaning by thinking their burst of laughter was CONNECTED TO the yelping, instead of being A RESULT OF the action. I hope that makes sense. If not, get back with me.]
Every time I read one of your chapters I regret not having continued to read it from the beginning. And now I can't go back and make up the missed parts. It seems like I'm rushing from one thing to another and never finish what I anticipated at the beginning of the day. Ah, well, the same for everyone, I suppose. Anyway, what I'm trying to say, is I love your style and your story-line. And if those dunderhead editors can't see what you have here ... you should publish them yourself on Amazon. If you DO decide to do that, let me know so I can give you some recommended reading on self-publishing. Over the past year I've made an exhaustive (read that also as exhausting) study of Indy-publishing.
You should be quite proud of your body of work.
Jay
Comment Written 04-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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Hi Jay, first of all, thank you so very much for this lovely review and what you said about it. I have walking around with a huge grin on my face. I made the changes earlier, just before I had to dash out to the gym, but didn't reply then because I wanted to thank you properly. .
When I read the part about the 'yelping' I could see immediately what you meant, and I've taken your advice and put a semicolon in between. I've also changed the sentence about the names. Your advice is always most gratefully received, as I'm sure you know by now. You've been an amazing reviewer.
I did send the first book out to agents and publishers, but it was rejected as being to complicated, so I went ahead and paid Create Space to format it and publish, they have done a fantastic job. I had it edited first, a few times, and I'm happy to say, I've had some lovely reviews, one of them from you.
I've always been a bit on the 'shy' side when it comes to promoting something I've done as I'm sure people will come back and say it's rubbish, but that hasn't happened so far! :) I've been doing quite a bit of book signing and I'm been walking around on cloud nine. I have to make sure this one is up to scratch and doesn't let the first one down. Thank you so much for offering to help with the self publishing by giving me the names of some good self-publishing books, I'll try to do it myself next time. What I need now, is advice on promoting, it's so hard when you are an unknown writer.
Thank you again, my friend, I really appreciate you!! Big hugs, Sandra. xxx
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This is another nice work done; the story has a good bearing upon mind to learn about a value, a piece of living is well shown, life is full of struggles; an interesting read. DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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This is another nice work done; the story has a good bearing upon mind to learn about a value, a piece of living is well shown, life is full of struggles; an interesting read. DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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Thank you so much, my friend for you lovely review. :) Sandra xx
Comment from aryr
Great job Sandra, It was a wonderfully descriptive way you explained Mary's technique of researching. I liked Jame's suggestion of having Joe and Daveth asking questions about Jacob. I really enjoyed your notation of explanation of your delay and of doing two posts out of consideration. Very enjoyable reading, thanks.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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Great job Sandra, It was a wonderfully descriptive way you explained Mary's technique of researching. I liked Jame's suggestion of having Joe and Daveth asking questions about Jacob. I really enjoyed your notation of explanation of your delay and of doing two posts out of consideration. Very enjoyable reading, thanks.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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Thank you so very much, Alie, for your lovely and very understanding words. I did feel so guilty having been absent for so long. but I'm in full swing now! I'll be posting the second part later today. Big hugs, my friend! Sandra xxx
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You are so welcome my friend and you were missed, but life does happen and go on. Take care Sandra.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
I held up my glass for James to fill ... and found myself standing outside the cottage with my hand still stretched out. What was even more confusing was the fact that I was no longer holding my glass, but a piece of what looked very much like chocolate! ; Sounds marvellous! An awesome write of this continued story Sandra, fantastic work as always love Meia xx
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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I held up my glass for James to fill ... and found myself standing outside the cottage with my hand still stretched out. What was even more confusing was the fact that I was no longer holding my glass, but a piece of what looked very much like chocolate! ; Sounds marvellous! An awesome write of this continued story Sandra, fantastic work as always love Meia xx
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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Thank you so much, Meia, for another lovely review. I really appreciate your lovely comments! Big hug, Sandra xxxx
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
We have been patiently waiting for the next part of the story. This is great and I just knew she would be transported at the end by what she said. Gets more mysterious
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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We have been patiently waiting for the next part of the story. This is great and I just knew she would be transported at the end by what she said. Gets more mysterious
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Sorry Sue, we have been staying at my step-sons, looking after is ginormous dog! He's very big, so didn't have the time to get stuck into my story, he would have grabbed my lap=top and eaten it! LOL. Thanks, my friend, for your lovely review, the other half of this part will be posted tomorrow. Big hugs, and Happy New Year! Sandra xx
Comment from royowen
I loved the ending of this, they were just talking about Veronica being in two places at once, and "Lordy, Lordy" she was, but instead of a glass of wine, a piece of chocolate. They've got something to go on now, even if it is a bit threadbare regarding Javob Argall. Best to be there, as she now is. Well done, Sandra, excellent episode. Well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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I loved the ending of this, they were just talking about Veronica being in two places at once, and "Lordy, Lordy" she was, but instead of a glass of wine, a piece of chocolate. They've got something to go on now, even if it is a bit threadbare regarding Javob Argall. Best to be there, as she now is. Well done, Sandra, excellent episode. Well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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LOL, Roy! Oh Lordy, Lordy! You really gave me a giggle. Thank you so much, dear friend, for this lovely review. I had to cut it in half because it went on far too long, so I will put the rest on tomorrow. Thank you for always being so supportive, Roy, I really appreciate you and your reviews a lot. Big hugs, and a Happy New Year! Sandra xx
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Always a pleasure Sandra
