One Day...
Tribute to a dear friend..13 total reviews
Comment from Richard J
Aw, Susan!
I am so sorry this one did not win. It sure deserved to, even though the winner is a fine piece, too.
This one broke my heart and soothed my soul at the same time, bringing many memories of lost friends from over the years.
I've often pondered why the circle of birth, life, death, and rebirth was designed the way it is. Perhaps, the idea is to figure out the mystery of it all, but meanwhile, it hurts like the dickens to lose a good friend, not particularly because we're unhappy they're gone to a better place, or that they're free of pain and all this life has of burden, but because we'll miss them so terribly.
Well, I could go on and on, but let me wind it up by telling you how very much I admire and respect your poetic skills and how you blend your imagination and heart so smoothly into your ink.
Such a beautifully struck, gently flowing, spot-on rhymed piece and presentation, Susan ... exceptionally so!
Hugs 'n thankful blessings to you! ~ Richard : )
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2018
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Aw, Susan!
I am so sorry this one did not win. It sure deserved to, even though the winner is a fine piece, too.
This one broke my heart and soothed my soul at the same time, bringing many memories of lost friends from over the years.
I've often pondered why the circle of birth, life, death, and rebirth was designed the way it is. Perhaps, the idea is to figure out the mystery of it all, but meanwhile, it hurts like the dickens to lose a good friend, not particularly because we're unhappy they're gone to a better place, or that they're free of pain and all this life has of burden, but because we'll miss them so terribly.
Well, I could go on and on, but let me wind it up by telling you how very much I admire and respect your poetic skills and how you blend your imagination and heart so smoothly into your ink.
Such a beautifully struck, gently flowing, spot-on rhymed piece and presentation, Susan ... exceptionally so!
Hugs 'n thankful blessings to you! ~ Richard : )
Comment Written 28-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2018
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:-) winning didnt matter to me..they were all good. This just needed to be written ( as you know)...this one is special to me.
Comment from Joan E.
I admired your tribute to your friend and your ethereal, picture selection. I admired your rhymed couplets in these quatrains and your use of alliteration to intensify the Memorial Poem. Best wishes in the contest and in dealing with the deep loss- Joan
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2018
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I admired your tribute to your friend and your ethereal, picture selection. I admired your rhymed couplets in these quatrains and your use of alliteration to intensify the Memorial Poem. Best wishes in the contest and in dealing with the deep loss- Joan
Comment Written 05-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2018
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Thank you Dear for this...sorry for such a late response :-( I do appreciate your kind words.
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Thank you for your kind response. Take good care of yourself- Joan
Comment from Dean Kuch
"Grief-stricken heartsong's somber theme,
till you appeared within a dream.
My [once broke] broken heart spied where you are,
adorned upon the brightest star."... Or, if you don't care too much for that suggestion you can add a hyphen, like so, Susan:
"My once-broke heart spied where you are..."
This was so eloquently worded and an absolutely lovely, well written poem, Susan.
Such a tender, touching ode to a beloved friendship lost.
Congratulations on finishing in second place.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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"Grief-stricken heartsong's somber theme,
till you appeared within a dream.
My [once broke] broken heart spied where you are,
adorned upon the brightest star."... Or, if you don't care too much for that suggestion you can add a hyphen, like so, Susan:
"My once-broke heart spied where you are..."
This was so eloquently worded and an absolutely lovely, well written poem, Susan.
Such a tender, touching ode to a beloved friendship lost.
Congratulations on finishing in second place.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2018
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6 stars !!!!!! Deano! :-))) I have so muh respect for you as a person and gifted writer that I am quite humbled that you think so highly of this piece! I appreciate both your suggestions and made adjustments...more when i stop the tears...
You're more than welcome, Susan. It's an awesome poem.
~Dean ;)
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Your words speak of that loss Susan. I can feel the "missing" of friendship and perhaps a little beyond that as well. I lost my best friend about 15 years ago and it still plagues me. I didn't get to say that last goodbye and it hurt! Good luck in your writing contest. Here we go again lol xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
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Your words speak of that loss Susan. I can feel the "missing" of friendship and perhaps a little beyond that as well. I lost my best friend about 15 years ago and it still plagues me. I didn't get to say that last goodbye and it hurt! Good luck in your writing contest. Here we go again lol xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 02-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
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long story here..but I was his only "family," caretaker, medical and executive for years....watching his slow decline was a nightmare. We were close friends...We had that last goodbye, though I didn't know it at time. He told me what I meant to him, I agreed we had an awesome friendship..left the hospital, to return in morning. He died an hour later. He did come to me in a dream...his body restored. It has changedthe way I "see" him now...I am sorry about your friend.
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I also had a male friend like that. His claim to fame was inventing the Wesson Oil cooking formula. That man had more types of Cancer than anyone thought possible in a single soul. His son runs pediatrics at Mayo Clinic but on that final journey Ned was in miserable bowl pain. He and I literally met on the side of the road when I was selling Alpaca Rugs off an A-Frame lol. He needed a job and I gave him one for many years. I believe in dignity and allowing someone to have a go at anything if they feel confident enough to give it a shot. Anyway that last Christmas, I got a call from him. He was in intensive care and knew I think, but wanted to call me. He told me that the only thing that would be more perfect than the gathering of his family would be to have me there with him ... Christmas time mate, couldn't get there! He understood and I won't soon forget the excitement in his voice because he understood that we were busy at Christmas and I guess he put himself right back there with us as he'd been for many years. Later that night he died. His son called and we had a long chat. He told me that his dad after talking with me was more animated than he had been since he got there. He died smiling, I have no doubt thinking about the next project ... Sorry I let this story drag on, but people do mean something don't they? No matter the circumstance. xx d
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People always matter, always. Your friend knew..I do beleive that. I took care of Norbert for so many years..I was lost. Everything changed..but he is in a much better place...he just couldn't go on any longer. I am truly sorry for your loss.
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he died smiling you said?...that says it all.
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thanks mate.
Comment from MissMerri
This poem is so beautifully written and touched my heart. I know what it feels like to have beloved friends leave too soon. My heart responded to your words. You have expressed the grief and missing our loved ones so perfectly. I would not wish a thing to be changed. Excellent in every way! MM
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
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This poem is so beautifully written and touched my heart. I know what it feels like to have beloved friends leave too soon. My heart responded to your words. You have expressed the grief and missing our loved ones so perfectly. I would not wish a thing to be changed. Excellent in every way! MM
Comment Written 02-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
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:-) He was a dear friend...i took care of him for years. Really felt quite lost for a long time. Better now. Thanks for the kind review...I so appreciate you doing so. YES, your book is in my Amazon cart lol...I can't wait!!!!
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the 'Memorial Poem' writing prompt.
This is well written and a lovely tribute to your friend, the beautiful artwork is a good match.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
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I think this is a good entry for the 'Memorial Poem' writing prompt.
This is well written and a lovely tribute to your friend, the beautiful artwork is a good match.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon
Comment Written 02-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
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Thank you Sharon for this kind review. I do appeciate you taking the time to read and review! A very happy New Year to you! :-)
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a sad and meloncholy story Susan and your heart spills out such beautiful words here and so well rhymed and I wish I had a six for you, a very touching write about your dear friend, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
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This is a sad and meloncholy story Susan and your heart spills out such beautiful words here and so well rhymed and I wish I had a six for you, a very touching write about your dear friend, love Dolly x
Comment Written 02-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
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Thank you for the kind review...it's been such a challenge these past few months..but he is in a better place..freed from his broken body. Thank you again :-)
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi there;
Thank you so much for sharing this well-written piece for the Memorial contest. I felt the emotions, but my favorite line was the crystal tears. It seems so many people are ashamed of their tears, but the ones flowing gently down a cheek of someone who mourns are simply beautiful,
Good luck in the contest,
~patty~
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
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Hi there;
Thank you so much for sharing this well-written piece for the Memorial contest. I felt the emotions, but my favorite line was the crystal tears. It seems so many people are ashamed of their tears, but the ones flowing gently down a cheek of someone who mourns are simply beautiful,
Good luck in the contest,
~patty~
Comment Written 02-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
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Thank you Dear Patty for your kind words. Happy New year to you. :-) oh and six stars?? Hugs you.
Comment from Teri7
This is a very beautiful and heartfelt poem you have penned as a memorial about a special and dear friend. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery. I am so sorry for your loss! Best wishes in the contest. Teri
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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This is a very beautiful and heartfelt poem you have penned as a memorial about a special and dear friend. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery. I am so sorry for your loss! Best wishes in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 31-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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Dear Teri, thank you for this exceptional review and the continued support of my writings. Your sentiments are truly heartfelt.
Comment from WalkerMan
When a long-time friend, who was there for you when most needed during a hard time in your life, declines in health and ultimately slips away, the full anguish of loss can be inexpressible for months (or even longer). Your first two stanzas finally can release those feelings openly because of the dream in Stanza 3, where his spirit shows you he is safe and happy. That is the turning point from grief to acceptance, which is vital to healing wherein fond memories exceed others.
From that point, your faith takes over, as your remaining five stanzas express. It is significant that there are more positive and hopeful stanzas in this poem than sad ones, proving that you have recognized the blessing of God's wisdom and Love in all that has happened, despite the pain. In the process, by writing these words, you are helping others to cope with their own losses too. Superb.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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When a long-time friend, who was there for you when most needed during a hard time in your life, declines in health and ultimately slips away, the full anguish of loss can be inexpressible for months (or even longer). Your first two stanzas finally can release those feelings openly because of the dream in Stanza 3, where his spirit shows you he is safe and happy. That is the turning point from grief to acceptance, which is vital to healing wherein fond memories exceed others.
From that point, your faith takes over, as your remaining five stanzas express. It is significant that there are more positive and hopeful stanzas in this poem than sad ones, proving that you have recognized the blessing of God's wisdom and Love in all that has happened, despite the pain. In the process, by writing these words, you are helping others to cope with their own losses too. Superb.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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Mike, not sure if I have the words...Thank you for yet another amazingly heartfelt review. You know how difficult this was for me to do..and especially now. Your continued encouragement of my writings has me so very grateful to consider you a dear friend. I knew you would understand my pain and struggle with Norberts passing. Thank you Mike...I'd say more..but yep..tears.
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You are most welcome, Susan. Yes, I do understand, based on many things you have told me over time. Anyone would struggle with the decline and loss of such a friend. You were faithfully there for him till and even beyond his last moments, including seeing him to his final rest. No one could have done more. His dream visit to you was his way of thanking you and assuring you that he truly has found peace without the physical burdens of his last Earthly days.
Your tears now are natural and healthy, so no apologies are needed. In time, they will be replaced, in part, by fond memories of better days. Yet, it is natural, too, that a heart as loving as yours occasionally will prompt your eyes to mist, even years from now. You know that I know how that feels.
Writing "One Day..." and posting it here among your friends is part of healing for both you and all who read it. I, and they, are here for you. -- Mike
