Puncturing Reality
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "The Monster?"My thoughts on this "Ago Old Subject."
12 total reviews
Comment from Rasmine
Hello, Ricky, :)
Can I say that the quotes really get distracting at times. Or maybe this is a story where two people are talking? Like a dialogue?
This is a neat little story. :)
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reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
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Hello, Ricky, :)
Can I say that the quotes really get distracting at times. Or maybe this is a story where two people are talking? Like a dialogue?
This is a neat little story. :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
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Thanks dr. Ricky 1024 would have preferred six stars though
Comment from Gert sherwood
Smile Ricky I wonder who tuned the handsome young man into a frog? I like your version the the old fairy tale about the frog turned into a man
I wonder how many frogs did Beth had to kiss before her fairy tale was fulfilled?
Gert
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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Smile Ricky I wonder who tuned the handsome young man into a frog? I like your version the the old fairy tale about the frog turned into a man
I wonder how many frogs did Beth had to kiss before her fairy tale was fulfilled?
Gert
Comment Written 01-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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Thanks Kurt and because that's was a princess of course only one doctor Ricky 1024
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Smiles now I know who was the frog
My name is Gert not Kurt
Gert
Comment from c_lucas
An old saying comes you mind, "One has to kiss thousands of frogs to find their prince. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read.
Errors
You have several errors in your use of quotation marks.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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An old saying comes you mind, "One has to kiss thousands of frogs to find their prince. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read.
Errors
You have several errors in your use of quotation marks.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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Thanks Charlie and a Happy New Year I don't know am I still preaching the choir here at fanstory?
Dr Ricky 1024
Comment from Dawn Munro
Awwwwwwwww, Rick! This was so sweet I am going to have to go on a diet after reading it. *grin* Now I know you know there are a few problems with punctuation (too many question marks) but the story was fun to read anyway, and it had a good moral (which is always my favorite thing, especially when it's written for children). You DO know you wrote a story-in-a-poem, yes? You rhymed well in places. I enjoyed it very much.
Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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Awwwwwwwww, Rick! This was so sweet I am going to have to go on a diet after reading it. *grin* Now I know you know there are a few problems with punctuation (too many question marks) but the story was fun to read anyway, and it had a good moral (which is always my favorite thing, especially when it's written for children). You DO know you wrote a story-in-a-poem, yes? You rhymed well in places. I enjoyed it very much.
Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment Written 31-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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Thanks Don happy New Year again dr. Ricky 1024
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You're very welcome. :)
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
A love story from old and one that demands telling over and over making the happy ending that we all crave to hear. Very well done
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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A love story from old and one that demands telling over and over making the happy ending that we all crave to hear. Very well done
Comment Written 30-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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This is a little bit of a monster and all of us we get up in the morning two women walking and go I got to put makeup on the men look all I got to shave and wash my face it's all different I guess for everybody but Beauty truly is only skin deep thanks for your wonderful and kind thoughts Barb dr. Ricky 1024
Comment from Dean Kuch
Lovely story, Dr. Ricky.
A fairy tale setting in a beautiful place of mystery and wondrous sights by a crystal clear lake.
Like any ugly frog or monster, Benjamin was reborn as his old, handsome self when Beth saw through his outward appearance to the beauty imprisoned within himself, and his heart.
Well done, sir!
Happy New Year.
~Dean
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Lovely story, Dr. Ricky.
A fairy tale setting in a beautiful place of mystery and wondrous sights by a crystal clear lake.
Like any ugly frog or monster, Benjamin was reborn as his old, handsome self when Beth saw through his outward appearance to the beauty imprisoned within himself, and his heart.
Well done, sir!
Happy New Year.
~Dean
Comment Written 30-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Thanks Dean in my heart piece Tony and Sherry part 2 will leave you in shock state of mine as you read the very end thanks dr. Ricky 1024
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You're welcome.
I'll be looking forward to it.
~Dean
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Good morning, Ricky: This is a really nice ending. It is a kind of Beauty and the beast story and you have your own style of telling the tale. The kiss from the princess that turned the beast back into the handsome prince and they lived happily ever after. This story is nicely done, Ricky. I did see one misspelled word but I lost in my reading. Anyway, other than that good job!
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Good morning, Ricky: This is a really nice ending. It is a kind of Beauty and the beast story and you have your own style of telling the tale. The kiss from the princess that turned the beast back into the handsome prince and they lived happily ever after. This story is nicely done, Ricky. I did see one misspelled word but I lost in my reading. Anyway, other than that good job!
Comment Written 30-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Yes Tier. And, this one was by Far the happiest. But that doesn't always attractive reviews unfortunately.
Dr. Ricky 1024
Comment from BOO ghost
A novel? This is awesome, Dr.Ricky. "And, he thought...
"I never used to look like this?"
Stated the Monster.
"I was a handsome, and young, man."
"Until a Nasty Witch put a Nasty Spell and Curse upon me?"
"And why?"
"Why did she change me into this Hideous Monster I see in the reflection?"
...
I like it. Sensational. I something different from the norm.
BOO~
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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A novel? This is awesome, Dr.Ricky. "And, he thought...
"I never used to look like this?"
Stated the Monster.
"I was a handsome, and young, man."
"Until a Nasty Witch put a Nasty Spell and Curse upon me?"
"And why?"
"Why did she change me into this Hideous Monster I see in the reflection?"
...
I like it. Sensational. I something different from the norm.
BOO~
Comment Written 29-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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I'm so glad that you enjoyed this talk to Ricky 1024
Comment from Sherman541
Who does not like a fairy tale with a happy ending ? Love the story. Having the setting on a lake was a great idea to ponder and wonder sifting through their dreams and becoming friends. Very simple, yet entertaining to read.
I did see a couple of words you might want to change. Just saying you might want to change them. Sherman541
{"And, while she was there, she would on the ld log and dream of many...}
(I think maybe you meant to say she would get on and I am not sure what Id is.)
{"On thay Spring day in May, the Monster visited the lake and say on the old log to pray...}
(I think you mean on that Spring day and sat not say on the old log)
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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Who does not like a fairy tale with a happy ending ? Love the story. Having the setting on a lake was a great idea to ponder and wonder sifting through their dreams and becoming friends. Very simple, yet entertaining to read.
I did see a couple of words you might want to change. Just saying you might want to change them. Sherman541
{"And, while she was there, she would on the ld log and dream of many...}
(I think maybe you meant to say she would get on and I am not sure what Id is.)
{"On thay Spring day in May, the Monster visited the lake and say on the old log to pray...}
(I think you mean on that Spring day and sat not say on the old log)
Comment Written 29-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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Thanks Sherman I added 40 words to make it better clean it up and we pumped it up you might want to read it again dr. Ricky 1024
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You are welcome and I will re-read it. Thanks for letting me know :)
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I did go re-read the story I still love it and it does make more sense. :)
However, If the Monster stated, I don't think it would be a ? {"I never used to look like this?" Stated the Monster.} but again up to you. Sherman541 :)
Comment from Dan Diego
Hi Ricky1024. I am giving you five stars for the effort you are putting into your work. I read your profile biography and you openly admit that you are a beginning writer. Great job with this children's fairy tale.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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Hi Ricky1024. I am giving you five stars for the effort you are putting into your work. I read your profile biography and you openly admit that you are a beginning writer. Great job with this children's fairy tale.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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Wow Dan I like you your rewrite better maybe you should rewrite it and then put your name on it and let me review it okay thanks dr. Ricky 1024
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I sense that you are angry with me. I do apologize. I should not have presumed you needed help. You are getting great reviews. Please disregard my review. I meant well.
