Reviews from

Cora

Should she trust him?

23 total reviews 
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Oh no! He's married isn't he? I like this story. It has a conversational type mood about it and in the telling, we are being "told" stuff that hasn't come out yet. I wonder what's next!? Grand story telling! xoxo Kiwi

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 Comment Written 01-Jan-2018


reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
    Thanks for reading.
Comment from misscookie
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You captured my attention from the first line to the last
I can't wait until the next chapter,.deep Inside of me I think there is going to be some very sad and hurt people in this story.
Cookie

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
    I'm afraid you're right, Cookie.
    Thanks so much for reading. And thanks for the generous review.
reply by misscookie on 01-Jan-2018
    You're very welcome, it was my pleasure.
    Take care.
    Cookie
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This speaks about keeping a relation, having dates with John, though Cora being too young and beautiful as employed, there is likely her parents would not approve of their relation, John being poorer; Cora is still confident of a relation; I liked. DR ALCREATOR

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
    Thanks so much for reading.
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

MJ,

Oh, yeah. Anytime we're encouraged to keep it a secret, you can bet there is some deep dark secret hiding somewhere. Men can be such horrid pigs. (Not all of them, mind you - I have a wonderful one, myself!) Very interesting. Looking forward to the next piece. Thanks!

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
    I'm afraid you're right about John, he's not a vey nice man.
    Thanks for reading.
Comment from Dan Diego
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

No, No, and No. She should not trust John. But I do suggest she continue the relationship for the sake of story conflict. I hope other reviewers advise you to continue pulling at this thread until the story unravels. If Cora walks away now, no story. If Cora and John are seen by a co-worker on one of their trips outside London, then your readers will worry about Cora and John's future employment status.

Setting all that aside, i enjoyed this vignette. You packed a lot of story in your carefully chosen words. I did not see any spelling, grammar, or punctuation errors. I found the story flow easy to read. Cora should not trust John but you should trust your gut instinct (or maybe, your muse) and see where this goes.

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
    Thanks for your review, Dan.
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Maria Jose, I don't like him and I don't trust him. He's up to no good. I like your story so far, and I wonder what he's going to do to her. I just hope she won't be scarred for life. Looking forward to the next part. Happy New year to you and your family. All the best. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
    I don't like him either. He's based on somebody my mum used to know as a young girl (my mum is the inspiration for Cora).
    Thanks for reading.
Comment from trumby
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I'm a BLOKE and even I don't like this creep.
I expect that this girl will end end up pregnant with her throat cut by the end of the story. He's either married or just using her for sex or probably both.
He's trying to keep too many secrets to be trusted anyway.

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
    He is a creep indeed. This is based to something that happened to my mum many years ago.
    Thanks for reading.
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good morning, Maria: You asked at the beginning, "Should she trust him?" I think she is too trusting of him already. There is something so suspicious about any relationship that has to be hidden. This would always make me uncomfortable. Three months is a long time to be involved and yet still a secret and very secret places that involve her lying to her parents and workmates, etc...

This is an interesting story and I will be eagerly looking to follow it to its conclusion. Good job!

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
    Thanks for reading, Tier.
Comment from giraffmang
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi MJ,

Very nice introductory instalment here. Cora seems an interesting woman. John something of an enigma at the moment, especially in Cora's eyes.

I would suggest putting a 'part one' at the beginning as it can be frustrating if one is reading what one thinks is a single story only to not be the case.

All the best
G

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
    Thanks for reading, Gareth. I'll add the chapter one thing later.
Comment from Sis Cat
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Yes, Maria, should Cora trust John? I have to wait until your next installment to find out.

I enjoyed several things about your story--one, your details:

John and Cora walked along the street in silence. Cora blew into the cold air and a little plume of steam came out of her mouth. Even though she was twenty-two, she often behaved like a child.

Two, the mystery about John. I want to know!:

She was a typist and he was the boss's nephew. Nobody knew exactly what kind of work he did.

Three, more mystery about the family dynamics and how it might respond to John and Cara's coupling:

He said somebody might report them to his uncle and Cora might lose her job.

Four, even more questions:

She thought he knew better and respected his wishes, but sometimes, alone at home, ugly suspicions nibbled at her brain. Was John ashamed of her?

Now, Maria, you have successfully sparked my interest. I want to read what happens next. Your story is well-paced and includes questions and mysteries that will be answered in the next installment.

Thank you for sharing, and have a happy and productive New Year!

 Comment Written 29-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
    Thanks for reading, Andre. Happy New Year to you too.