Faith
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Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
Is faith more than a mystery?
Is there strong substance sewn within?
Or is it fawning fantasy,
An esoteric whim to win?
An amazing write as always...how are you so prolific you have a natural gift for the profound and the skill with which you make your points while maintaining perfect rhyme is jawdropping...well done again you have created something so special here, a faith poem that truly asks questions that need answers, and answers questions I have long pondered...thankyou. Happy New year and good luck ove Meia x
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Is faith more than a mystery?
Is there strong substance sewn within?
Or is it fawning fantasy,
An esoteric whim to win?
An amazing write as always...how are you so prolific you have a natural gift for the profound and the skill with which you make your points while maintaining perfect rhyme is jawdropping...well done again you have created something so special here, a faith poem that truly asks questions that need answers, and answers questions I have long pondered...thankyou. Happy New year and good luck ove Meia x
Comment Written 29-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Happy and Creative New Year to you and yours also Meia. Thank you for another wonderful review my talented friend. Have a fantastic 2018 and I will see you around the bend. Love, tom
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you too Tom x Love Meia
Comment from rama devi
This is one of the best entries for the FAITH contest I've read on site. Hope you place!
Excellent questions posed, excellent insights delivered, excellent crafting with an abundance of rhyme and phonetic poetics. Great flow too.
NOTES
Love the rhymes here:
The question tweaks then activates
A special sequence in my mind,
While this, at times, necessitates
The leaving of beliefs behind.
Love the alliteration of F here:
To frolic in fruition's feast;
A final planting of the seed.
Favorite lines (great rhymes too):
But when the question is of God
Or His existence at the core,
I must admit that I am awed,
Because each question raises more.
Superb consonance and alliteration of T, P, C and assonance of E:
Yet still I stand without a plan
Or practical solution found,
To comprehending complex man,
Though tempting theories do abound.
GREAT LINE:
Is there strong substance sewn within?
LOVE THIS:
Or is it fawning fantasy,
An esoteric whim to win?
SO TRUE and well voiced:
A faith announced in righteous vein,
Expounded with pomposity,
Can in itself be quite profane;
A tool of terse credulity.
INSIGHTFUL:
Tradition binds our first belief
In compliment to culture's past,
But brings no permanent relief
As first belief will rarely last.
WELL PUT and superbly rhymed:
Belief conflicted, often brings
Out hate and blatant bigotry;
This is the faith the zealot sings,
Redundant throughout history.
A six if I had one...
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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This is one of the best entries for the FAITH contest I've read on site. Hope you place!
Excellent questions posed, excellent insights delivered, excellent crafting with an abundance of rhyme and phonetic poetics. Great flow too.
NOTES
Love the rhymes here:
The question tweaks then activates
A special sequence in my mind,
While this, at times, necessitates
The leaving of beliefs behind.
Love the alliteration of F here:
To frolic in fruition's feast;
A final planting of the seed.
Favorite lines (great rhymes too):
But when the question is of God
Or His existence at the core,
I must admit that I am awed,
Because each question raises more.
Superb consonance and alliteration of T, P, C and assonance of E:
Yet still I stand without a plan
Or practical solution found,
To comprehending complex man,
Though tempting theories do abound.
GREAT LINE:
Is there strong substance sewn within?
LOVE THIS:
Or is it fawning fantasy,
An esoteric whim to win?
SO TRUE and well voiced:
A faith announced in righteous vein,
Expounded with pomposity,
Can in itself be quite profane;
A tool of terse credulity.
INSIGHTFUL:
Tradition binds our first belief
In compliment to culture's past,
But brings no permanent relief
As first belief will rarely last.
WELL PUT and superbly rhymed:
Belief conflicted, often brings
Out hate and blatant bigotry;
This is the faith the zealot sings,
Redundant throughout history.
A six if I had one...
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 29-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Kind of atypical for a faith poem isn't sis? I just thought I'd tell 'my' truth which I believe is shared by many who profess strong religious faith in public and private encounters, but in the quiet moments of solitary contemplation are not too far from the messages in this poetic. Thanks again sis, take care. tom
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Indeed, I believe that's true. Take care, Bro! Best, rd
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PS I applaud your novel approach to the contest!
Comment from Janet Foor
Faith seems to be an elusive character for many. I have had so many experiences in my life that can only be attributed to my faith that i do not question it. It is the assurance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1
I enjoyed reading your well written poem. Very nice abab rhyme. Good questioning that draws the reader into the piece.
Well done.
Blessings and Happy New Year
Janet
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Faith seems to be an elusive character for many. I have had so many experiences in my life that can only be attributed to my faith that i do not question it. It is the assurance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1
I enjoyed reading your well written poem. Very nice abab rhyme. Good questioning that draws the reader into the piece.
Well done.
Blessings and Happy New Year
Janet
Comment Written 29-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Hi Janet and thank you very much for a fine review. Have a Happy New Year and we will meet around the corner in 2018. Take care Janet. tom
Comment from c_lucas
Faith is believing without physical proof. The Bible teaches that man need only Faith the size of a mustard seed. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Faith is believing without physical proof. The Bible teaches that man need only Faith the size of a mustard seed. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Thank you Charlie. Take care my friend. tom
Comment from apky
A wonderful and excellent poem with the ever evasive question.
Faith and analysing what it means to different people has and still
occupies a lot of my time and discussions with friends. Great to find
this here in FanStory - it doesn't have to be the parlour to have a
great discussion on this important question.
Wish you all the best for the weeken
and a Happy New Year,
Apky
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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A wonderful and excellent poem with the ever evasive question.
Faith and analysing what it means to different people has and still
occupies a lot of my time and discussions with friends. Great to find
this here in FanStory - it doesn't have to be the parlour to have a
great discussion on this important question.
Wish you all the best for the weeken
and a Happy New Year,
Apky
Comment Written 29-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Thank you Apky and the same good wishes to you and yours my friend. Have a safe and Happy New Year. Thank you. tom
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Faith is one of those unseen necessities in life as without it we seem to have no direction. A poignant write filled with questions that may remain unanswered, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Faith is one of those unseen necessities in life as without it we seem to have no direction. A poignant write filled with questions that may remain unanswered, love Dolly x
Comment Written 29-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Happy New Year Dolly and thank you once again for reviewing my poems. Take care my friend. tom
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi, Tom;
Thank you for sharing this well-composed poem about faith. I hope you do well in the contest as you have posed important points of interest.
Yes, the contemplation of faith does raise more questions, but then we are reminded of the 'grand scheme' just by looking around at nature.
Your poetic form works well and moves along with a nice rhyme and rhythm. Good luck in the contest,
~patty~
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Hi, Tom;
Thank you for sharing this well-composed poem about faith. I hope you do well in the contest as you have posed important points of interest.
Yes, the contemplation of faith does raise more questions, but then we are reminded of the 'grand scheme' just by looking around at nature.
Your poetic form works well and moves along with a nice rhyme and rhythm. Good luck in the contest,
~patty~
Comment Written 29-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much Patty for the review and good luck wishes for the contest. This poem has no chance because most entries will deal with those who have strong religious faith and I would imagine their poems are reflect having faith not searching for it. Could be wrong I guess but I don't think so. Happy New Year Patty. Stay safe my friend. tom
Comment from Boogienights
Your beautifully written and rhymed poem brings up many valid questions. I think a lot of people, myself included have a problem with believing in God, but also wondering why do much suffering exists in the world if God has the ability to prevent it.Thanks for sharing this thought provoking poem.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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Your beautifully written and rhymed poem brings up many valid questions. I think a lot of people, myself included have a problem with believing in God, but also wondering why do much suffering exists in the world if God has the ability to prevent it.Thanks for sharing this thought provoking poem.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2017
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And thank you for a great review Boogienights. I am most honored. Happy New Year to you and yours. tom
Comment from Pantygynt
I do believe that you and I both love the same thing -- playing around with words, and seeeking the assonance and consonance out where full rhyme is not available. As I am constantly telling my students near rhyme is not a second class form of rhyme it is a form of rhyme, like internal and cross rhyme both of which you use to good effect here.
There was one occasion where I wondered if the nearness had been fetched too far:
"A faith announced in righteous vein,
Expounded with pomposity,
Can in itself be quite profane;
A tool of terse credulity."
The generally accepted precept is that rhyme relying solely on a final unstressed syllable, commonly '...y', '...er' '...ing' etc. is not of high quality. So had the fourth line ended in 'fatuosity' or even 'capacity' there would have been enough additional consonance and/or assonance for it to pass muster. I do think though, as it is, pomposity/credulity is not quite close enough to count. My naughty impudence wants to suggest a fourth line reading "flatulent fatuosity", but that really would be like farting in church -- wouldn't it?
The other examples of polysyllabic rhyme are superb and your use of repetition (that can be a two-edged sword) is masterful, particularly in closing lines:
"Please tell me what belief contains
And which belief I should believe?"
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I do believe that you and I both love the same thing -- playing around with words, and seeeking the assonance and consonance out where full rhyme is not available. As I am constantly telling my students near rhyme is not a second class form of rhyme it is a form of rhyme, like internal and cross rhyme both of which you use to good effect here.
There was one occasion where I wondered if the nearness had been fetched too far:
"A faith announced in righteous vein,
Expounded with pomposity,
Can in itself be quite profane;
A tool of terse credulity."
The generally accepted precept is that rhyme relying solely on a final unstressed syllable, commonly '...y', '...er' '...ing' etc. is not of high quality. So had the fourth line ended in 'fatuosity' or even 'capacity' there would have been enough additional consonance and/or assonance for it to pass muster. I do think though, as it is, pomposity/credulity is not quite close enough to count. My naughty impudence wants to suggest a fourth line reading "flatulent fatuosity", but that really would be like farting in church -- wouldn't it?
The other examples of polysyllabic rhyme are superb and your use of repetition (that can be a two-edged sword) is masterful, particularly in closing lines:
"Please tell me what belief contains
And which belief I should believe?"
Comment Written 29-Dec-2017
Comment from Sherman541
That is so true. Life is confusing without trying to have faith and believe. Believing is sometimes very hard, especially faith when you cannot see it, feel it or touch it, but you just believe in it. I am a believer of God, Jesus and faith. This poem you wrote really does capture what many people go through, including myself. Especially while taking my Biology class. Good Luck and Best Wishes with the Contest !
Sherman541
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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That is so true. Life is confusing without trying to have faith and believe. Believing is sometimes very hard, especially faith when you cannot see it, feel it or touch it, but you just believe in it. I am a believer of God, Jesus and faith. This poem you wrote really does capture what many people go through, including myself. Especially while taking my Biology class. Good Luck and Best Wishes with the Contest !
Sherman541
Comment Written 29-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2017
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Thank you Sherman. I knew this was a little different take on the contest but I wanted to be honest about where I am on the subject. I was. And I thank you very much for your great review. tom
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you are most welcome and again Good Luck
