Forsaken City
A garden poem.48 total reviews
Comment from heavenempress
Hie, nice piece of poem. Good English command and rich words. I read almost all of your post although I fail to understand some your deep English words. The poem flows smoothly
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Hie, nice piece of poem. Good English command and rich words. I read almost all of your post although I fail to understand some your deep English words. The poem flows smoothly
Comment Written 16-Aug-2023
Comment from ImaginosBuzzardoDesdinova
A very strong poem. It reaches through the mind and breaks the heart. We have lost so much on our blind trek down the paths that we have taken. I hope its not too late.
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A very strong poem. It reaches through the mind and breaks the heart. We have lost so much on our blind trek down the paths that we have taken. I hope its not too late.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2023
Comment from Wendy G
Deep, thought provoking. I don't pretend to understand it all but your imagery is strong as is the metre. To me it speaks of Nan's failure and degradation, his refusal to change or learn. Man chose (and continues to choose) his own path and that's why Eden failed, and why the world is as it is.
Wendy
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Deep, thought provoking. I don't pretend to understand it all but your imagery is strong as is the metre. To me it speaks of Nan's failure and degradation, his refusal to change or learn. Man chose (and continues to choose) his own path and that's why Eden failed, and why the world is as it is.
Wendy
Comment Written 15-Aug-2023
Comment from Katie Mae Dead
Wow...that's pretty intense easy! Definitely incredible piece of free-verse (?) you have here!
They saw it lies somewhere in Turkey.
My favorite is the following stanza for its subtle touches of alliteration...
Is there somewhere, hidden,
in forbidden and abandoned land,
a grisly, gated city sealed and shut
by rusted nails?
Just love gristly gated city.
Bravo one again sir!
Katiemaedead
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Wow...that's pretty intense easy! Definitely incredible piece of free-verse (?) you have here!
They saw it lies somewhere in Turkey.
My favorite is the following stanza for its subtle touches of alliteration...
Is there somewhere, hidden,
in forbidden and abandoned land,
a grisly, gated city sealed and shut
by rusted nails?
Just love gristly gated city.
Bravo one again sir!
Katiemaedead
Comment Written 15-Aug-2023
Comment from papa55mike
It was a failed garden only because couldn't follow instructions and listened to a snake. What a wonderfully written poem. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
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It was a failed garden only because couldn't follow instructions and listened to a snake. What a wonderfully written poem. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 15-Aug-2023
Comment from Douglas Goff
Or is it a failed garden of man?
Ha! Loved this. Very good indeed. My favorite strong section:
Is there somewhere, hidden,
in forbidden and abandoned land,
a grisly, gated city sealed and shut
by rusted nails?
Thank you!
D
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Or is it a failed garden of man?
Ha! Loved this. Very good indeed. My favorite strong section:
Is there somewhere, hidden,
in forbidden and abandoned land,
a grisly, gated city sealed and shut
by rusted nails?
Thank you!
D
Comment Written 15-Aug-2023
Comment from Ulla
Yes, And it has gotten even worse. You beautifully written could be written to the world as it stands today. The beauty is still there but man seems hellbent on destroying it. Ulla:)))
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Yes, And it has gotten even worse. You beautifully written could be written to the world as it stands today. The beauty is still there but man seems hellbent on destroying it. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 15-Aug-2023
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Man learned how to destroy and disobey as soon as he was born. Man, encompassing women as well, have never appreciated what was freely given to them. It was just like a child with a toy, we need to take it apart to see how it works. But by then, it is totally broken. Very interesting poem, EE, Well done. :)) Sandra xx
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Man learned how to destroy and disobey as soon as he was born. Man, encompassing women as well, have never appreciated what was freely given to them. It was just like a child with a toy, we need to take it apart to see how it works. But by then, it is totally broken. Very interesting poem, EE, Well done. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 15-Aug-2023
Comment from forestport12
Love the word play here. Not sure how to reflect on the poem. I don't get poetic technique, so I'm at a loss. I'm thinking you are reflecting on some notion of a risen south or restoring the glory of the south by some who take a Puritanical mindset. I do appreciate the metaphoric rise in reference to the Garden of Eden, the sight of downfall and depravity thereafter.
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Love the word play here. Not sure how to reflect on the poem. I don't get poetic technique, so I'm at a loss. I'm thinking you are reflecting on some notion of a risen south or restoring the glory of the south by some who take a Puritanical mindset. I do appreciate the metaphoric rise in reference to the Garden of Eden, the sight of downfall and depravity thereafter.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2023
Comment from Aussie
I really liked the underlying message in your poem Tom. Has Eden really failed? Or has man failed to recognise God? Starting with his creations of Adam and Eve; their legacy down through the ages has brought mankind to the brink of destruction. K XX
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I really liked the underlying message in your poem Tom. Has Eden really failed? Or has man failed to recognise God? Starting with his creations of Adam and Eve; their legacy down through the ages has brought mankind to the brink of destruction. K XX
Comment Written 14-Aug-2023
