Another Jackie O
Written in Chicago doing the beat clubs 196362 total reviews
Comment from Jonadab Ezerie
You use words and phrases that evoke a sense of despair and desolation. You employ literary devices such as alliteration ("ragged faded lady hoarder") and metaphor ("milky-eyed maiden"). Good job; I will read more of your piece.
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You use words and phrases that evoke a sense of despair and desolation. You employ literary devices such as alliteration ("ragged faded lady hoarder") and metaphor ("milky-eyed maiden"). Good job; I will read more of your piece.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2024
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This poem is half-rap, half-narrative. I liked this part best:
time is always lazy for a lady goin' crazy;
midnight, brain-drain, middle of the boulevard,
ragged lady bag-hag, screamin' out her rage.
and also:
with her hag-bag shop rags
ready to go.
This is a lady with an attitude, it sounds like.
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This poem is half-rap, half-narrative. I liked this part best:
time is always lazy for a lady goin' crazy;
midnight, brain-drain, middle of the boulevard,
ragged lady bag-hag, screamin' out her rage.
and also:
with her hag-bag shop rags
ready to go.
This is a lady with an attitude, it sounds like.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2024
Comment from Christine Currie
Like you, I am a returning FanStorian, so we have that in common. I think this poem is what we used to call 'DEEP' in the Old Days. I don't claim to completely understand it, it would take more than one reading for me to understand it to the point of being able to do it justice, but in the meantime, I can tell you that I enjoyed reading it. Very vividly written. Thanks for sharing it.
I look forward to reading more of your writings.
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Like you, I am a returning FanStorian, so we have that in common. I think this poem is what we used to call 'DEEP' in the Old Days. I don't claim to completely understand it, it would take more than one reading for me to understand it to the point of being able to do it justice, but in the meantime, I can tell you that I enjoyed reading it. Very vividly written. Thanks for sharing it.
I look forward to reading more of your writings.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2024
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Wow, you have nailed it, my friend!
You've captured the beatnik's appeal of the 50s and '60s style of poetry, well done!
I don't care too much about attacking Jackie O's, but if that turns you on, go for it!
Thanks for sharing your talent!
Jesse
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Wow, you have nailed it, my friend!
You've captured the beatnik's appeal of the 50s and '60s style of poetry, well done!
I don't care too much about attacking Jackie O's, but if that turns you on, go for it!
Thanks for sharing your talent!
Jesse
Comment Written 18-Jan-2024
Comment from Julie Helms
I wasn't familiar with the beat club reference in your subtitle. I looked around a bit and found this definition which seems to fit what you're referencing:
The term 'Beat Generation' was coined by writer Jack Kerouac, who borrowed the word 'beat' from the jazz scene and used it to represent both a sense of exhaustion and a spiritual 'beatitude.' Kerouac saw the Beats as those who were downtrodden but determined, finding beauty in the midst of desolation.
The cadence of your poem with its alliterations and internal rhymes comes across like chanting, as if to a drumbeat.
The Lady may be a "gonococcal wet-brain" but she sees with such clarity the hypocrisy and moral degeneracy of the "blue-blooded, high-borns", and she's calling them out. Her comparison of herself to Jackie O on the face of it seems ludicrous, but her point is well taken of the parallel of outside rot (visible to all) and the inside rot of moral corruption of the elite.
I thought this was very interesting to read both in style and content. It kept me digging. Thanks for sharing! Julie
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I wasn't familiar with the beat club reference in your subtitle. I looked around a bit and found this definition which seems to fit what you're referencing:
The term 'Beat Generation' was coined by writer Jack Kerouac, who borrowed the word 'beat' from the jazz scene and used it to represent both a sense of exhaustion and a spiritual 'beatitude.' Kerouac saw the Beats as those who were downtrodden but determined, finding beauty in the midst of desolation.
The cadence of your poem with its alliterations and internal rhymes comes across like chanting, as if to a drumbeat.
The Lady may be a "gonococcal wet-brain" but she sees with such clarity the hypocrisy and moral degeneracy of the "blue-blooded, high-borns", and she's calling them out. Her comparison of herself to Jackie O on the face of it seems ludicrous, but her point is well taken of the parallel of outside rot (visible to all) and the inside rot of moral corruption of the elite.
I thought this was very interesting to read both in style and content. It kept me digging. Thanks for sharing! Julie
Comment Written 18-Jan-2024
Comment from Nicki Nance
The imagery and message make this masterfully written piece a stand out. Your rhyming and rhythm led me to reading it as a rap. I think you have a hit on your hands.
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The imagery and message make this masterfully written piece a stand out. Your rhyming and rhythm led me to reading it as a rap. I think you have a hit on your hands.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2024
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
You were born a tad to late to be able to run with your true kin. How you would have fit right in with those poetry Gods. Howsomeever, I like your writing and thinking anyhoo. Good writing. Karen
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You were born a tad to late to be able to run with your true kin. How you would have fit right in with those poetry Gods. Howsomeever, I like your writing and thinking anyhoo. Good writing. Karen
Comment Written 18-Jan-2024
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
You were born a tad to late to be able to run with your true kin. How you would have fit right in with those poetry Gods. Howsomeever, I like your writing and thinking anyhoo. Good writing. Karen
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You were born a tad to late to be able to run with your true kin. How you would have fit right in with those poetry Gods. Howsomeever, I like your writing and thinking anyhoo. Good writing. Karen
Comment Written 18-Jan-2024
Comment from jake cosmos aller
another great poem I will add it to my posting on your poetry. DId you get my links etc? I like this one - comparing a homeless woman to Jackie O. Brillant piece.
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another great poem I will add it to my posting on your poetry. DId you get my links etc? I like this one - comparing a homeless woman to Jackie O. Brillant piece.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2024
Comment from Wendy G
That was a massive contrast to the elegant Jackie O, but this was the start of the "freedom' era and the freedom brought with it some downward spirals. Intense and very dark, as one looks at such broken lives.
Wendy
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That was a massive contrast to the elegant Jackie O, but this was the start of the "freedom' era and the freedom brought with it some downward spirals. Intense and very dark, as one looks at such broken lives.
Wendy
Comment Written 17-Jan-2024
