Another Jackie O
Written in Chicago doing the beat clubs 196362 total reviews
Comment from Neonewman
What an awesome, well crafted piece you have delivered hear my friend. Loved so many lines such as: "time is always lazy for a lady goin' crazy;" and "i'm brain-drained, insane, dissipated plain,
a bucket full of truth even Jesus wouldn't claim " Thank you for sharing your talent.
God bless!
Steve
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2017
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What an awesome, well crafted piece you have delivered hear my friend. Loved so many lines such as: "time is always lazy for a lady goin' crazy;" and "i'm brain-drained, insane, dissipated plain,
a bucket full of truth even Jesus wouldn't claim " Thank you for sharing your talent.
God bless!
Steve
Comment Written 05-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2017
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Thank you very much Steve. I am glad you enjoyed this post and I thank you again for a fine review. tom
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My pleasure~
Comment from twotock
You certainly like you beat poets and it shows in the rhythms of your words which follow a natural beat and accentuate your meaning! A novel breakdown of poem into novel plot!
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2017
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You certainly like you beat poets and it shows in the rhythms of your words which follow a natural beat and accentuate your meaning! A novel breakdown of poem into novel plot!
Comment Written 05-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2017
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Thank you very much bolonomad1. I am honored. tom
Comment from MelB
Wow, I think you used about every adjective to describe this poor desolate soul. Great lines of alliteration throughout. I think this would make a great rap song!
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017
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Wow, I think you used about every adjective to describe this poor desolate soul. Great lines of alliteration throughout. I think this would make a great rap song!
Comment Written 05-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017
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Hi Mel. I thank you very much for a fine review. tom
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
You must have spent ages writing this poem! Not for the length, (I've known to write longer,) but for the words! Where did you find them all? Some are brilliant, are they yours? They could end up in a child's school essay! lol! That would fox the teachers! Well done, my friend. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017
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You must have spent ages writing this poem! Not for the length, (I've known to write longer,) but for the words! Where did you find them all? Some are brilliant, are they yours? They could end up in a child's school essay! lol! That would fox the teachers! Well done, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 05-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017
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Hi Sandra. This poem was inspired by visions of street people in both New York City and Chicago, Ill. I wrote the poem about a month before the assassination of Kennedy. I was in Chicago and another poet friend of mine, who lived there, said we should go to the South Side of Chi. and hit the 'beat' clubs. Well, at that age I was up for anything, of course, so off we went into the poetic unknown. The big thing back then was to perform or read your poetry in front of the finger-snapping crowd. lol I didn't read that night but really got into the free-form, let-it-loose style of the poet's narratives. I wrote this poem with both the poets I heard in the clubs and the unique images of the people I observed and heard on the streets of those two cities, in mind. Thanks Sandra. tom
Comment from artemis53
Absolutely superb. I got all of it from the rise to the fall and finally the 'calling out' of those who would judge and think they're untouched by it all. "never gonna' lose
'cause she's never in the game." Now, how true is that?
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017
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Absolutely superb. I got all of it from the rise to the fall and finally the 'calling out' of those who would judge and think they're untouched by it all. "never gonna' lose
'cause she's never in the game." Now, how true is that?
Comment Written 05-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017
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Wow artemis. What a great review. I am most encouraged that you followed the "rise", fall, the eventual "calling out" in her voice and pain, those who stay protected from confronting the failures of our society because it make them uncomfortable and less secure in their bling and glitter, their wives and children, their imagined status immunized from a treacherous fall. Thanks a million my friend. A very impressive review and few, yet highly succinct words. tom
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You're very welcome, Tom. It was great ;-)
Comment from gene roush
Wow
So many great one-liners here.
I really enjoyed this.
"pixilated palindromes"
Very nice.
Thanks for sharing
Gene
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017
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Wow
So many great one-liners here.
I really enjoyed this.
"pixilated palindromes"
Very nice.
Thanks for sharing
Gene
Comment Written 05-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017
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Thank you very much Gene. I am totally pleased and honored by your outstanding review and rating. Thanks again. tom
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
How many of these bag ladies were young beautiful women with hope for a bright future before falling on hard times. Your descriptions are exceptional and you painted quite a picture here. My favourite stanza:
i'm a sack-cloth, busted, shackled crusted scab,
gonococcal wet-brain - slippin' on the ledge
of pain on pain, while livin' on the edge
in the whorin' pourin' rain. God died, I cried,
I'm lookin' for some gain.
When rock bottom there is no room for nice talk and refined high society.
Another great write from your camp, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017
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How many of these bag ladies were young beautiful women with hope for a bright future before falling on hard times. Your descriptions are exceptional and you painted quite a picture here. My favourite stanza:
i'm a sack-cloth, busted, shackled crusted scab,
gonococcal wet-brain - slippin' on the ledge
of pain on pain, while livin' on the edge
in the whorin' pourin' rain. God died, I cried,
I'm lookin' for some gain.
When rock bottom there is no room for nice talk and refined high society.
Another great write from your camp, love Dolly x
Comment Written 05-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017
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Hi Dolly and thank you so much for the great review and commentary. I am very honored. tom
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks change in person, personality and people who are affected by such changes may or may not react, affected persons would complain ever; I like. DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017
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This speaks change in person, personality and people who are affected by such changes may or may not react, affected persons would complain ever; I like. DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 05-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017
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Thanks a million ALD, most honored my friend. tom
Comment from esacony
This is a profound statement of truth that lives on the other side of life. The side that most will never discover unless they lived under the bridge rather than on top of it. There is clarity to this work that if you haven't experienced it you will find it as a fictional tale...... but it's not.
"Time is always lazy for a lady goin crazy........"
"Ragged lady, bag hag, screamin out her rage."
It takes me back a long ways.
Good work at defining the street merchants.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017
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This is a profound statement of truth that lives on the other side of life. The side that most will never discover unless they lived under the bridge rather than on top of it. There is clarity to this work that if you haven't experienced it you will find it as a fictional tale...... but it's not.
"Time is always lazy for a lady goin crazy........"
"Ragged lady, bag hag, screamin out her rage."
It takes me back a long ways.
Good work at defining the street merchants.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017
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Hello my friend and I'm getting spoiled by your reviews but don't let that stop you, lol. I am very pleased that you understood the content and intent of this poem because it reflects a style not used much anymore. This write was influence greatly by the 'beat' poets of the fifties and sixties. I thank you once again. tom
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is really quite sad. I feel like it could be about any gal who outlives her beauty and as a result her ability to care for herself. Out on the streets alone and unloved would make anyone insane especially when they were once wanted. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017
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This is really quite sad. I feel like it could be about any gal who outlives her beauty and as a result her ability to care for herself. Out on the streets alone and unloved would make anyone insane especially when they were once wanted. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2017
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Thanks a million Mystic. tom
