The Fawn
A once in a lifetime experience for two boys and me.38 total reviews
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
An amazing story about a once-in-a lifetime experience.
You told it with great attention to detail. The suspense was spot-on. I was so anxious for the fawn, and wondered what would happen to it.
Too bad the photos were lost, but like you said, the experience will stay with you and the boys forever.
Great job,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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An amazing story about a once-in-a lifetime experience.
You told it with great attention to detail. The suspense was spot-on. I was so anxious for the fawn, and wondered what would happen to it.
Too bad the photos were lost, but like you said, the experience will stay with you and the boys forever.
Great job,
Rhonda
Comment Written 03-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
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Thank you very much, Rhonda, for your review and kind words. Writing this story was almost as much fun as the canoe trip itself.
Comment from sherrygreywolf
Wonderful experience and you wrote a very nice account of it to share with us. It is a shame you never got the pictures, but accidents happen. I didn't see anything that needs correction.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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Wonderful experience and you wrote a very nice account of it to share with us. It is a shame you never got the pictures, but accidents happen. I didn't see anything that needs correction.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2018
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Thank you very much for your review. I am glad you liked it. Have a Happy New Year.
Comment from oliver818
What an amazing story. That's something you won't likely live twice. What a shame about the film. This is such a moving story, I'm not totally sure why but it really touched something inside of me, that little deer so desperate to satisfy its curiosity it almost lost its life while it's mother just watched on. Thanks for sharing this, you made my day.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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What an amazing story. That's something you won't likely live twice. What a shame about the film. This is such a moving story, I'm not totally sure why but it really touched something inside of me, that little deer so desperate to satisfy its curiosity it almost lost its life while it's mother just watched on. Thanks for sharing this, you made my day.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much for your review and kind words. I truly appreciate it.
Comment from royowen
To my relief, it seems the little fawn was quite obviously safe and would be back in the care of its mother. A fantastic experience, and a Lesson for us, on the care of the danger of two legged little ones. Beautifully and sensitively written, wild creatures are amazingly we equipped for life, even the little ones. A fascinating anecdote. Well done, good job, blessings, Roy
Typo : the little fawn (drug) himself. Dragged?
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2017
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To my relief, it seems the little fawn was quite obviously safe and would be back in the care of its mother. A fantastic experience, and a Lesson for us, on the care of the danger of two legged little ones. Beautifully and sensitively written, wild creatures are amazingly we equipped for life, even the little ones. A fascinating anecdote. Well done, good job, blessings, Roy
Typo : the little fawn (drug) himself. Dragged?
Comment Written 16-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much Roy for your review and feedback. I'll get right on that typo. I really appreciate it.
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Most welcome
Comment from zekeziemann
Wonderful experience well told with vivid detail. Perhaps a little bit long, but it keeps one's attention to the end. Be sure to do another episode with the pictures you are anticipating.
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2017
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Wonderful experience well told with vivid detail. Perhaps a little bit long, but it keeps one's attention to the end. Be sure to do another episode with the pictures you are anticipating.
Comment Written 15-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much for your review. I am glad you liked it. Unfortunately, the boy's camera came open during their trip hope and exposed the film. The pictures were ruined. At least we still have our memories.
Comment from estory
Great attention to detail in this essay piece that depicts this arresting incident with a fawn and doe on a river. Great descriptive language puts us right in the middle of the action and there is a very visual unrolling of this scene. Try working in a little more dialogue to get the other people in the boat more involved. It would also make it come a little more alive. estory
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2017
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Great attention to detail in this essay piece that depicts this arresting incident with a fawn and doe on a river. Great descriptive language puts us right in the middle of the action and there is a very visual unrolling of this scene. Try working in a little more dialogue to get the other people in the boat more involved. It would also make it come a little more alive. estory
Comment Written 15-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much for your review. I think your recommendation is fantastic. Thank you.
Comment from Mary Mack
This was a very nice story. I enjoyed reading it very much. You may have used too many commas, here and there, but other than that I thought it was really good.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2017
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This was a very nice story. I enjoyed reading it very much. You may have used too many commas, here and there, but other than that I thought it was really good.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2017
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Thank you very much for your review. Those darn commas. Argh. LOL
Comment from giraffmang
Very nice bit of writing here and you translated the emotion and action of the event very well indeed.
the usual river "critters". - you don't really need the inverted commas for emphasis.
Casey blurted out "I see a baby - insert a comma after out.
We had a ring-side seat - ringside can be one word here.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2017
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Very nice bit of writing here and you translated the emotion and action of the event very well indeed.
the usual river "critters". - you don't really need the inverted commas for emphasis.
Casey blurted out "I see a baby - insert a comma after out.
We had a ring-side seat - ringside can be one word here.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 14-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2017
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Thank you very much for your review and help with editing. Seems like editing is never done. LOL
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
He had made it. And like a dog after taking a bath, he gave a violent shake of his body, and disappeared into the woods. ' PHEW! I was worried for that little fawn for a moment it was like Bambi all over again (I still cannot watch that movie as it upsets me to much!) a wonderful true story about a wonder of nature and written very wel good luck with the competition with this great story very well told kindest regards Meia x
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2017
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He had made it. And like a dog after taking a bath, he gave a violent shake of his body, and disappeared into the woods. ' PHEW! I was worried for that little fawn for a moment it was like Bambi all over again (I still cannot watch that movie as it upsets me to much!) a wonderful true story about a wonder of nature and written very wel good luck with the competition with this great story very well told kindest regards Meia x
Comment Written 13-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2017
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review. It makes me so happy when I know someone truly loved my story. Thank you.
Comment from Dean Kuch
A river seems simple enough at first. They usually start out small. They gain stature and power as they make their way toward the sea. All the water runs downhill as fast as gravity and elevation drop allows. But that is NOT how it really works, as anyone who has used a canoe can tell you.
Rapids are rated from class one to class six. The rating depends on the difficulty of negotiating the rapids and the likelihood of serious injury or death if you become separated from your canoe. The rapids are challenging and there is a slight chance of death if you're out of your canoe.
I've fished with my father and grandfather on the Whitewater River before. Great Walleye fishing to be had there.
However, I have no idea what the rating is for the rapids there. It gets goin' pretty fast in places.
There are three primary life-threatening dangers in a river. The first is easy to avoid if you know it's there. Sometimes, on the bottom of a river, the rocks will create a "wedge" that can catch you by the foot or ankle. The current will then drag you under water and you'll drown. If you ever find yourself floating down a river, try to keep your feet up.
The second is an undercut rock which allows the current to flow through under the rock instead of around it. Normally you will see a "Pillow" in front of a rock. That is where the water backs up against the front of the rock before it flows around the sides. The pillow causes the water to rise up, so it is a little higher than the surface of the water flowing into it. The absence of the pillow means that the rock is undercut. Just because the water can flow downstream under the rock, doesn't mean that you can. If the opening is too small for you, the current will drag you down and pin you underwater.
Again, the ultimate result is drowning.
The third danger is the "Keeper Hole".
A keeper hole is formed on the downstream side of a large rock in a swift, high volume current. The rock creates a void on the downstream side. The water circles back from all directions as it attempts to fill the void. The surface of the water here is depressed -- lower than the river surface -- and that's exactly why it's called a "Hole". The water exits the hole down near the bottom of the river. Up near the surface, everything is sucked back into the hole. That's where the term "Keeper" comes from. It is hard to get out of one of these if they're very large.
Had you not taken it upon yourself to save that fawn, Dan, he would have surely drowned.
I hated to hear about the photos being ruined. Those would've been somethin' to see!
Great story.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2017
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A river seems simple enough at first. They usually start out small. They gain stature and power as they make their way toward the sea. All the water runs downhill as fast as gravity and elevation drop allows. But that is NOT how it really works, as anyone who has used a canoe can tell you.
Rapids are rated from class one to class six. The rating depends on the difficulty of negotiating the rapids and the likelihood of serious injury or death if you become separated from your canoe. The rapids are challenging and there is a slight chance of death if you're out of your canoe.
I've fished with my father and grandfather on the Whitewater River before. Great Walleye fishing to be had there.
However, I have no idea what the rating is for the rapids there. It gets goin' pretty fast in places.
There are three primary life-threatening dangers in a river. The first is easy to avoid if you know it's there. Sometimes, on the bottom of a river, the rocks will create a "wedge" that can catch you by the foot or ankle. The current will then drag you under water and you'll drown. If you ever find yourself floating down a river, try to keep your feet up.
The second is an undercut rock which allows the current to flow through under the rock instead of around it. Normally you will see a "Pillow" in front of a rock. That is where the water backs up against the front of the rock before it flows around the sides. The pillow causes the water to rise up, so it is a little higher than the surface of the water flowing into it. The absence of the pillow means that the rock is undercut. Just because the water can flow downstream under the rock, doesn't mean that you can. If the opening is too small for you, the current will drag you down and pin you underwater.
Again, the ultimate result is drowning.
The third danger is the "Keeper Hole".
A keeper hole is formed on the downstream side of a large rock in a swift, high volume current. The rock creates a void on the downstream side. The water circles back from all directions as it attempts to fill the void. The surface of the water here is depressed -- lower than the river surface -- and that's exactly why it's called a "Hole". The water exits the hole down near the bottom of the river. Up near the surface, everything is sucked back into the hole. That's where the term "Keeper" comes from. It is hard to get out of one of these if they're very large.
Had you not taken it upon yourself to save that fawn, Dan, he would have surely drowned.
I hated to hear about the photos being ruined. Those would've been somethin' to see!
Great story.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2017
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Merry Christmas to you too Dean. Thank you for your review and conversation. Yes, those underwater hazards are the most dangerous. There were times I went down the Whitewater after some rain and there were new trees that had fallen in. They were like a monster waiting for you to come around the bend and if you swung wide you would fall right into the monster's grasp. And if you fell overboard, there was a good chance of your pfd getting snagged on a limb, and hold you under till death. I loved the Whitewater RIver. I watched the cfs ratings all the time. There were times it reached 30,000 + cfs. The roar was awesome. I knew to stay off the river on those days. 1,000 - 2,000 cfs I believe were normal flow rates for that river.
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That's a LOT of water displacement, Dan.
You're very welcome.
~Dean
