In Ivy
a ghazal61 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
I don't profess to know very much at all about the ghazal form of poetic expressionism, Andre, my friend.
It's very...unique.
However, I do know what I like when I read it, and I found this poetic piece to be both very unusual and interesting.
Bravo, and thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2017
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I don't profess to know very much at all about the ghazal form of poetic expressionism, Andre, my friend.
It's very...unique.
However, I do know what I like when I read it, and I found this poetic piece to be both very unusual and interesting.
Bravo, and thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2017
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Oh, thank you, Dean, for your review. Yes, this form is unusual and interesting. It is also older than the Shakespearean sonnet by a thousand years. I enjoy exploring old poetic forms from different cultures. Thank you for your review.
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My pleasure as always, Andre.
You're more than welcome.
~DK :)
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi, Andre;
Thank you for sharing the memory of your mother's words, as she taught you about the loveliness of ivy. To me, there isn't anything as pretty as ivy covering the ground or the side of a building.
But, I think I could update that if someone offered me a posy wrapped in ivy,
~patty~
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2017
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Hi, Andre;
Thank you for sharing the memory of your mother's words, as she taught you about the loveliness of ivy. To me, there isn't anything as pretty as ivy covering the ground or the side of a building.
But, I think I could update that if someone offered me a posy wrapped in ivy,
~patty~
Comment Written 04-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2017
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Oh, thank you, Patty, for your kind review. When I watched video of the capture in San Francisco of a tranquilized mountain lion whose body tumbled down an ivy-covered hill, I smelled crushed ivy leaves and recalled tumbling in ivy as a kid. Memories rushed back and I wrote about them. Thanks.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
As per the order of rhythm, word knitting, couplets make it a good ghazal, the poetic form of Arabia and India is well maintained with free flow of thoughts; I like. DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2017
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As per the order of rhythm, word knitting, couplets make it a good ghazal, the poetic form of Arabia and India is well maintained with free flow of thoughts; I like. DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 04-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2017
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Thank you, DR ALCREATOR, for your kind review of my ghazal and for noting its free flow. Thanks.
Comment from lyenochka
I've read a few ghazals here for the first time and it's an intriguing form. You've executed it superbly because of how you threaded the theme throughout the couplets. You introduce the gift of the ivy and as we travel through time, we see that the ivy is full of memories, some not pleasant. But because of the love (not the ivy itself) that wraps the calla lily Mother's Day gift, it's accepted with joy as beautifully expressed in the last couplet:
"Mom grasps the gift. "Nothing is as pretty,
'Dre, as a posy embraced in ivy."
She "grasps" it because she "understands" the meaning. You refer to your own name in the last line, "Dre" and the "embraced in ivy" shows the love.
Thanks for showing me how this form can be used well.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2017
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I've read a few ghazals here for the first time and it's an intriguing form. You've executed it superbly because of how you threaded the theme throughout the couplets. You introduce the gift of the ivy and as we travel through time, we see that the ivy is full of memories, some not pleasant. But because of the love (not the ivy itself) that wraps the calla lily Mother's Day gift, it's accepted with joy as beautifully expressed in the last couplet:
"Mom grasps the gift. "Nothing is as pretty,
'Dre, as a posy embraced in ivy."
She "grasps" it because she "understands" the meaning. You refer to your own name in the last line, "Dre" and the "embraced in ivy" shows the love.
Thanks for showing me how this form can be used well.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2017
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Thank you, lyenochka, for your generous, six star review. It is very detailed about how I structured my poem. Including the pleasant and unpleasant memories entangled in ivy is necessary and realistic to give the poem its arc. I am quite amazed at the form of ghazals and will continue to read and write them. Thank you for your review.
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"Ivy Love", is an extremely well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. You KEEP WRITING and I'll keep reading.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2017
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"Ivy Love", is an extremely well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. You KEEP WRITING and I'll keep reading.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2017
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Thank you, Duchess, for your review. I will keep writing.
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Sis Cat, as always you're very welcome.
Bless you, take care and have a happy, holy and safe Christmas.
Best wishes,
the Duchess
Comment from sfharper
Ivy is a good wrap for a bouquet. Good way to include a name on the last line. The dialogue works here, seeming easily spoken. The ivy is very intrusive so it makes a good word to repeat. Interesting read, I enjoyed it.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2017
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Ivy is a good wrap for a bouquet. Good way to include a name on the last line. The dialogue works here, seeming easily spoken. The ivy is very intrusive so it makes a good word to repeat. Interesting read, I enjoyed it.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2017
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Yes, sfharper, the inclusion of the author's name in the final couplet is a key feature of ghazals. In some ghazals, it seems intrusive for the poet to write, for example, "And I, Shahid, only am escaped to tell thee." I love Barbara Crane's innovation of composing her ghazal as a series of direct quotes from her mother. That way, when the mother calls her by name at the end, it felt natural. Thank you for your review of an interesting read.
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You're welcome Sis Cat
Comment from ameen786
Hello Sis, my friend I admire your exceptional talent in capturing the essence of a "Ghazal"--I was born/raised in India and a fond reader of Urdu/Persian poetry. I believe, the Ghazal form originated from the Persian culture and Urdu having the same script as the Persian, naturally adopted the most of its poetry in the Ghazal form. Since you try various forms of poetry, I recommend you read the following popular Persian/Urdu poets: Mirza Ghalib; Allahma Iqbal; Faiz Ahmed Faiz; Ahmad Faraz; etc. Also, check out "Gulon mein rang bhare bade nau bahar chale,"--by Faiz; you'll find the english translation on Google. Thank you for the treat of Ivy.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2017
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Hello Sis, my friend I admire your exceptional talent in capturing the essence of a "Ghazal"--I was born/raised in India and a fond reader of Urdu/Persian poetry. I believe, the Ghazal form originated from the Persian culture and Urdu having the same script as the Persian, naturally adopted the most of its poetry in the Ghazal form. Since you try various forms of poetry, I recommend you read the following popular Persian/Urdu poets: Mirza Ghalib; Allahma Iqbal; Faiz Ahmed Faiz; Ahmad Faraz; etc. Also, check out "Gulon mein rang bhare bade nau bahar chale,"--by Faiz; you'll find the english translation on Google. Thank you for the treat of Ivy.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2017
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Thank you, ameen786. Your review means more to me than the six stars because you are born and raised in India and read Urdu/Persian poetry. I got some criticism from Western reviewers for adapting a non-Western form of poetry, but I find the form beautiful and flexible. I also appreciate your list of Persian/Urdu poets. I saved a copy so I can read English translations.
Thank you very much for your encouraging, informative review. It encourages me to keep trying various forms of poetry.
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Faiz's "Gulon mein rang bhare bade nau bahar chale" is excellent. I love getting the feel of the original and how it was written and structured. I also enjoyed the sung version by Mehdi Hassan. Thanks.
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Mirza Ghalib is amazing. I love the English translations of "baazicha-e-atafaal hai duniya mere aage" and "hai baske har ik un ke ishaare men nishaan aur." In my next ghazal, I want to write about unrequited love more in keeping with the originals. I will remember the feel and the shimmering emotions of Ghalib's ghazals. Thanks. You are making me a better student and writer.
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My pleasure my friend; enjoy your journey into the world of Persian/Urdu poetry.
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I am so blown away by the beauty of the form. Thanks for the list of ghazal masters.
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Thank you once again for recommending I delve deeper into ghazals. As I began reading Agha Shahid Ali's "Call Me Ishmael Tonight: A Book of Ghazals," I discovered I wasn't writing the form correctly. So I revised my first ghazal to add the rhyme before the refrain. I also deleted one couplet to make the ghazal work. I am quite happy with it now and am looking forward to reading and writing more. Thanks.
Comment from Liberty Justice
Cute and adorable how well you rhyme this poem about ivy. Is this poison ivy you are talking about, because this will make you itch so badly. Ivy makes a pretty decoration piece if its the non-poison kind. truly, liberty justice
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2017
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Cute and adorable how well you rhyme this poem about ivy. Is this poison ivy you are talking about, because this will make you itch so badly. Ivy makes a pretty decoration piece if its the non-poison kind. truly, liberty justice
Comment Written 03-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2017
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No, Liberty Justice, this is not poison ivy, but the regular kind. At one point, I did have a couplet about Batman's super villain Poison Ivy, but decided to omit it. Thank you for your review.
Comment from robyn corum
Andre,
I have to admit that I don't care too much for the Ghazal poetry form. It's lovely, true, but there are so many others that ring prettier to me -- but, with that said, I did like your piece. It's filled with memories, love and kindness - what could be better than that? Thanks so much!
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2017
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Andre,
I have to admit that I don't care too much for the Ghazal poetry form. It's lovely, true, but there are so many others that ring prettier to me -- but, with that said, I did like your piece. It's filled with memories, love and kindness - what could be better than that? Thanks so much!
Comment Written 03-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2017
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Yes, Robyn, the ghazal is an unusual form, but it is one older than the sonnet. I love the restrictions and flexibility of the form and can see why some Western poets are attracted to it. Thank you for your review of my ghazal filled with memories, love, and kindness.
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Sis Cat,
Ivy Love - What a wonderful piece of poetry in the form of 'Ghazal' this is!
Impressive and matching the theme wording.
Smooth, spontaneous, and enchanting flow throughout from the beginning to the end with lovely rhyming scheme.
"Mom grasps the gift. "Nothing is as pretty,
'Dre, as a posy embraced in ivy."
Ivy - Something different, but having sweet taste and pleasant fragrance.
Best of Luck!
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2017
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Hello Sis Cat,
Ivy Love - What a wonderful piece of poetry in the form of 'Ghazal' this is!
Impressive and matching the theme wording.
Smooth, spontaneous, and enchanting flow throughout from the beginning to the end with lovely rhyming scheme.
"Mom grasps the gift. "Nothing is as pretty,
'Dre, as a posy embraced in ivy."
Ivy - Something different, but having sweet taste and pleasant fragrance.
Best of Luck!
Comment Written 03-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2017
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Yes, it's something different. I can see why Barbara Crane's ghazal is a finalist in the the Rattle Poetry Prize. Thank you for your detailed review and for wishing me the best of luck in FanStory's contest
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Sis Cat, Most Welcome!
~ RP
