Reviews from

Animated Stills

Viewing comments for Chapter 40 "The Kiss of God"
Inspiration of Life from Photographs

17 total reviews 
Comment from RGstar
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Sorry I missed this, der friend. I always want to read anything you write as I know you post seldom these days.
I enjoyed this read, as if I was reading a bible story. I liked the motivation for its being.
Hope to read from you again soon.
Lovely write.
RG

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 08-Dec-2017
    Thank you RG. I'll be posting periodically
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

An impressive image.
You did well to choose the ballad format and a bible reference to highlight the image within an image.
Clouds and the ever changing sky are great poetry starters.
:-) Shirley

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 08-Dec-2017
    Thank you Shirley. For a lovely review. Yes, clouds are wonderful inspirations, indeed.

Comment from robina1978
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A lovely photo by you, that complements your poem perfectly. The poem has a form I truly never used. I have heard about it. You wrote this Ballad without any faults I loved your poem very much and the photo. Pity you could not enter a contest with it.

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 08-Dec-2017
    Thank you Ine. for your fine review. Have a lovely weekend.
Comment from Joan E.
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Thank you for retelling the story of Moses in your Ballad. I enjoyed your rhythmic, rhymed quatrains and your chorus in the repeated tercet. I could make out the face in your photograph and am pleased you included it as another example of your animated stills. Cheers- Joan

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 08-Dec-2017
    Thank you Joan. You comments are always warmly welcomed, and nicely detailed.
Comment from Irish Rain
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I really like that repeating line...'the kiss of God.' I never thought it fair that Moses was not allowed entry into the promised land. But, he took all the glory upon himself, instead of giving it to God, when water was brought forth from the rock. And still...God welcomed him to a greater promised land. This is lovely. Awesome picture!! Blessings...

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 08-Dec-2017
    Thank you Irish Rain. I see you are very familiar with the story. Yes, it did seem unfair to me too.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
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Observers are all awed.
The angels all applaud,
the Kiss of God.
A beautiful awe inspiring spiritual poem, wonderful to behold praise his name you work is amazing bring god to everyone what a sky he paint kindest regards and gods blessings Meia xx

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 08-Dec-2017
    Thank you Meia for a wonderful review. I am pleased that it moved you in both verse and image.
Comment from TAB_that's me
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This is a wonderful poem. I like the repeating line of 'the kiss of God'. I also like the imagery of it and that He kisses things He loves:) and I believe that too.

teresa

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 29-Nov-2017
    Thank you Teresa. I am most pleased with you comments and and support. Some poems just write themselves, and this was one for me, with just a touch of research. Love that internet.
Comment from Octavia
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This was wonderful, Mr. Treiscel. I am taking James Bartlet's class in meter and he uses you as an example many times. I feel that it took a lot of studying on my part just to be able to appreciate your fine works. Your perfectly metered works inspire us all in class.
I love how you take everyday occurrences and magically turn them into works of divine poems.
Please don't leave us. FanStory is blessed to have you with us!

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 29-Nov-2017
    Wow! Thank you Octavia. That is high praise. I am surprised, pleased, and honored. I really appreciate your comments.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
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What a lovely photo, Tom, a truly incredible sky. The words of your poem have been picked to perfection for the reverence of the moment. I love the words that are interspaced between the longer stanzas, wonderful. Then you carry on with wonderful author's notes. The whole makes for a pleasurable read and the photo to gaze upon. :) Sandra xxx

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 29-Nov-2017
    Thank you Sandra, I really like your assessments. That sky was amazing, and the poem just wrote itself, with a little bit of research.
reply by Sandra Stoner-Mitchell on 29-Nov-2017
    It's something I have come to expect from you, Tom! xx
Comment from Pantygynt
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I have been doing ballad meter recently with my 'Introduction to Metre Class' so I have just emailed them, pointing them in this direction if they wanted a good example. The chorus was a device frequently used by the old balladeers and sung every couple of verses breaks up the oh so regular succession of tetrameters and trimeters.

The occasional trochaic substitutions in the first foot of a line also help the piece along interestingly. Without such devices ballad metre can begin to sound over repetitive -- banal metre, as a friend of mine once calledit. But this is anything but banal. Thanks for the example.

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2017


reply by the author on 29-Nov-2017
    Thank you Pantygynt. I really appreciate that someone can pick up the poetic nuances, as you have done here. I am honored that you think it is class-example worthy. I actually hesitated adding the chorus after the third stanza thinking that finishing with the Earth kiss might be stronger, but elected to stay consistent. Loved you comment about the banal metre.
    I have gotten a comment from one of your students already. Sounds like your classes are going quite well. Congratulations.