Fortune Cookies
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Laundry Day: Clean and Single"A Romantic, Superhero-like, Geek Horror story.
10 total reviews
Comment from LIJ Red
I might say is drawn to rather than magnetize( a verb that means something specific to an electrician) but otherwise, excellent writing here. Interesting story line.
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I might say is drawn to rather than magnetize( a verb that means something specific to an electrician) but otherwise, excellent writing here. Interesting story line.
Comment Written 20-May-2018
Comment from sunnilicious
You added a lyrical flow to an everyday college dorm situation. You're funny. Creative flash fiction subject. Well thought out and clearly written. Nice work.
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You added a lyrical flow to an everyday college dorm situation. You're funny. Creative flash fiction subject. Well thought out and clearly written. Nice work.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2018
Comment from lyenochka
Enjoyed the humor and great turns of phrases and metaphors like:
"wrinkles of concern feverishly form around her forehead" and "you're like last week's losing lottery ticket" and the final "fortune cookie" statement.
Wonder why the Mandarin speaker has an easy name like Daniel but the guy who can't even speak Chinese has this unusual Eu El name. What does it mean?
One grammar comment:
"know you're handicap with chopsticks" (your handicap or you're handicapped)
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
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Enjoyed the humor and great turns of phrases and metaphors like:
"wrinkles of concern feverishly form around her forehead" and "you're like last week's losing lottery ticket" and the final "fortune cookie" statement.
Wonder why the Mandarin speaker has an easy name like Daniel but the guy who can't even speak Chinese has this unusual Eu El name. What does it mean?
One grammar comment:
"know you're handicap with chopsticks" (your handicap or you're handicapped)
Comment Written 27-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2018
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Hi! It?s always refreshing to run into authors of similar backgrounds. Thank you for your reply and kind review. I?ve been working on a novel that been on my mind since finishing University. Daniel is the character?s ?American name.? A lot of Chinese tend to do that to blend in. It?ll be later explained in the book, which I hope will provide a sense of empathy and appreciation to the Asian American community. As for Eu El...it?s a name that corresponds to character names in the comic, ?Super-Man.? Again, it?s a developing story that I hope you will follow. I see you are an accomplished author. I?ll take the time after my busy work schedule to really go deep in your writing. Thank you again for catching that grammar error. Grammar hasn?t been my strong points, but I like to write.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
This is an amusing story about a young man who does not fit in. He kind of reminds me of Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory.
The picture fits the story perfectly.
Well done, well told.
Sharon
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2017
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This is an amusing story about a young man who does not fit in. He kind of reminds me of Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory.
The picture fits the story perfectly.
Well done, well told.
Sharon
Comment Written 30-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2017
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Awesome! LOL I need to start watching that show again. I left off about three seasons ago. Thank you again for your time to give an insightful review and rating.
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Awesome! LOL I need to start watching that show again. I left off about three seasons ago. Thank you again for your time to give an insightful review and rating.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi again,
the cinematic nature of the narrative continues to intrigue and engage in this story. It is certainly unique in terms of content and indeed style.
very enjoyable
G
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Hi again,
the cinematic nature of the narrative continues to intrigue and engage in this story. It is certainly unique in terms of content and indeed style.
very enjoyable
G
Comment Written 28-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Thank you. Your insight is very motivating for me as an amateur writer.
Comment from kahpot
Well with this part of the story you have certainly got me interested, and I will certainly read more and catch up, especially as your notes suggest paranormal intrigue, very well written****kahpot
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Well with this part of the story you have certainly got me interested, and I will certainly read more and catch up, especially as your notes suggest paranormal intrigue, very well written****kahpot
Comment Written 27-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Great! This story has been on my mind for years. It wasn?t until I began sharing it at work that I started to consider placing it into literature form. Thank you for the kind rating and comment.
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Great! This story has been on my mind for years. It wasn?t until I began sharing it at work that I started to consider placing it into literature form. Thank you for the kind rating and comment.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
Daniel strains a smile either to mask his disappointment with his new friend, or he is just careful not to damage the potential he sees in him.
"What? Ai-yah, El. You're more like a fortune cookie than a superhero."
This had humour and wit, it made me laugh a lot an it was also especially well written, well done I look forward to reading backward (if that makes sene) and learning more kindest regards and well done Meia x
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Daniel strains a smile either to mask his disappointment with his new friend, or he is just careful not to damage the potential he sees in him.
"What? Ai-yah, El. You're more like a fortune cookie than a superhero."
This had humour and wit, it made me laugh a lot an it was also especially well written, well done I look forward to reading backward (if that makes sene) and learning more kindest regards and well done Meia x
Comment Written 27-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Great! This story has been on my mind for years. It wasn?t until I began sharing it at work that I started to consider placing it into literature form. Thank you for the kind rating and comment.
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Great! This story has been on my mind for years. It wasn?t until I began sharing it at work that I started to consider placing it into literature form. Thank you for the kind rating and comment.
Comment from Rasmine
Hello, :)
Good chapter -- can't wait for the paranormal to begin.
I found some typos, but do your own research:
Every odd moment she exerts a laugh, but this time she withholds from concealing her mouth as she had done the first time he saw her sitting there (I don't think there is a comma), in the same seat.
Eu El nods without confirming either a yes (I don't think this comma is here, either), or a no.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2017
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Hello, :)
Good chapter -- can't wait for the paranormal to begin.
I found some typos, but do your own research:
Every odd moment she exerts a laugh, but this time she withholds from concealing her mouth as she had done the first time he saw her sitting there (I don't think there is a comma), in the same seat.
Eu El nods without confirming either a yes (I don't think this comma is here, either), or a no.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2017
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Hi, Rasmine. Thank you for catching those I tend to be comma crazy :)
Comment from Ricky1024
I enjoyed reading about this person that does his laundry and a great theme and imagery and it read very well flowed well had no grammar issues and great descriptive measures thanks for this doctor Ricky 1024 eigen Cybertron high-fiber trying to actually review this earlier and forgot to give it to stars and send it out in it course it wasn't accepted so now I don't have any success at this time. When this was reviewed which is about a week ago so the best I can do is 5 but I'll return the six is another time talk to Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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I enjoyed reading about this person that does his laundry and a great theme and imagery and it read very well flowed well had no grammar issues and great descriptive measures thanks for this doctor Ricky 1024 eigen Cybertron high-fiber trying to actually review this earlier and forgot to give it to stars and send it out in it course it wasn't accepted so now I don't have any success at this time. When this was reviewed which is about a week ago so the best I can do is 5 but I'll return the six is another time talk to Ricky 1024
Comment Written 27-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Totally fine, sir :) I greatly appreciate that as I do your work. You have a wonderful and creative mind! Talk to you soon! Thank you
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Totally fine, sir :) I greatly appreciate that as I do your work. You have a wonderful and creative mind! Talk to you soon! Thank you
Comment from misscookie
I enjoyed reading tour write
You captured my attention from the begin to the end,
I can relate to it all
For I was a 50 geek and to a certain point I'm still in the dark about a lot of things.
Thank you for sharing
Cookie
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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I enjoyed reading tour write
You captured my attention from the begin to the end,
I can relate to it all
For I was a 50 geek and to a certain point I'm still in the dark about a lot of things.
Thank you for sharing
Cookie
Comment Written 27-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Glad you find this piece relatable. That?s one of my goals in writing. I like making connections with readers. Thank you for the kind rating and comment. God bless
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Glad you find this piece relatable. That?s one of my goals in writing. I like making connections with readers. Thank you for the kind rating and comment. God bless
Your'e very welcome, ave a nice evening.
Cookie
