I Stand A Naked Man
A life lived.62 total reviews
Comment from clsandau
Wow! This is a very powerful write. The story flows along so easily and then a surprise ending. My favorite type of poetic writing, rhyming 2nd and 4th lines - it always seem to make so much sense and the rhyming keeps the rhythm going. A very sad tale for sure of someone leading life on the edge and finally destroying a relationship. I guess he ended it in his own way. Thanks for the thought provoking tale. Carol
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Wow! This is a very powerful write. The story flows along so easily and then a surprise ending. My favorite type of poetic writing, rhyming 2nd and 4th lines - it always seem to make so much sense and the rhyming keeps the rhythm going. A very sad tale for sure of someone leading life on the edge and finally destroying a relationship. I guess he ended it in his own way. Thanks for the thought provoking tale. Carol
Comment Written 25-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Thank you for this exceptional review Carol. I am most honored. tom
Comment from dragonpoet
This is such a sad poem about what happens to life and love when greed and lies take over. Suicide shouldn't be the only answer, he can just learn his lesson and try life again.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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This is such a sad poem about what happens to life and love when greed and lies take over. Suicide shouldn't be the only answer, he can just learn his lesson and try life again.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 25-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Thank you dragonpoet. tom
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No problem, Tom.
Joan
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No problem, Tom.
Joan
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Well Tom, when I saw your title I assumed that the poem was biographical, but you're still here so it's not LOL. This is very well written, tells a gripping story with a sudden unexpected ending. Everyone has regrets about something in there lives, and although your story poem might sound rather extreme, if you get down to the nitty-gritty of it there are plenty who do live the way the protagonist in the poem did. Success and the quest to achieve, no matter who they trample upon to gain it is quite believable. I thought your penultimate stanza was a bit melodramatic. Does a person die of a broken heart - maybe! Certainly in Victorian drama they do, where the heroin has the vapours - lies down and quietly dies. But in your poem the wife did. In today's world she'd be more likely to find a solicitor, and take the husband 'to the cleaners', as they say. I particularly like -
today he stands a naked man
reflected in the full length glass
of one more sterile penthouse suite;
bath fixtures proud old polished brass. ........ good descriptive lines 3 and 4.
The whole poem is extremely well written. Good use of metaphor in 'he chased the dragon of deceit'. A good read - warm regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Well Tom, when I saw your title I assumed that the poem was biographical, but you're still here so it's not LOL. This is very well written, tells a gripping story with a sudden unexpected ending. Everyone has regrets about something in there lives, and although your story poem might sound rather extreme, if you get down to the nitty-gritty of it there are plenty who do live the way the protagonist in the poem did. Success and the quest to achieve, no matter who they trample upon to gain it is quite believable. I thought your penultimate stanza was a bit melodramatic. Does a person die of a broken heart - maybe! Certainly in Victorian drama they do, where the heroin has the vapours - lies down and quietly dies. But in your poem the wife did. In today's world she'd be more likely to find a solicitor, and take the husband 'to the cleaners', as they say. I particularly like -
today he stands a naked man
reflected in the full length glass
of one more sterile penthouse suite;
bath fixtures proud old polished brass. ........ good descriptive lines 3 and 4.
The whole poem is extremely well written. Good use of metaphor in 'he chased the dragon of deceit'. A good read - warm regards Dorothy
Comment Written 25-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Hi Dorothy. Thank you very much for this exceptional review my friend. Most honored. tom
Comment from Chrissy710
Hi easyererett1 Oh I wish I had a six for this one but only a five. Wow what a terrific poem and your commentary and words chosen to portray this sad story is superb. A great beginning and sad ending that he seems to have brought on himseld through a selfish greed for the material things and yet the most precious posession was his wife. A great poem With an apt title indeed stripped of everything important. Naked man. Cheers Christine
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Hi easyererett1 Oh I wish I had a six for this one but only a five. Wow what a terrific poem and your commentary and words chosen to portray this sad story is superb. A great beginning and sad ending that he seems to have brought on himseld through a selfish greed for the material things and yet the most precious posession was his wife. A great poem With an apt title indeed stripped of everything important. Naked man. Cheers Christine
Comment Written 25-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Thank you Christine. Most honored. tom
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written heartfelt poem. When we are young we have everything we want and it comes sometimes too easily and we don't realize the value of what we have before it is too late.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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A very well-written heartfelt poem. When we are young we have everything we want and it comes sometimes too easily and we don't realize the value of what we have before it is too late.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Thank you Sandra. tom
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion, oh my! What a tragic tale, but narrated in perfect rhyme and rhythm, smooth in the fluid movement from line to line and stanza to stanza. I felt an emotional catch in my chest as I reached the end and actually felt the tears sting my eyes. This would be an excellent entry for the "Emotions" contest - it touched me...
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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In my opinion, oh my! What a tragic tale, but narrated in perfect rhyme and rhythm, smooth in the fluid movement from line to line and stanza to stanza. I felt an emotional catch in my chest as I reached the end and actually felt the tears sting my eyes. This would be an excellent entry for the "Emotions" contest - it touched me...
Comment Written 25-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Thank you very much my friend. I don't enter many contests but I will take a look. Thanks again. tom
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You are very welcome indeed, Tom - an arresting piece...Eve
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks a story of love and marriage and the state of standing a naked man saved; all it appears in vision viewing a picture and like a monologue it expresses the story; I liked.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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This speaks a story of love and marriage and the state of standing a naked man saved; all it appears in vision viewing a picture and like a monologue it expresses the story; I liked.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Thank you very much ALD. tom
Comment from closetpoetjester
Wow! Wow! Wow!
Did NOT expect the ending. I got so carried away in your rhyming perfection I got taken hook, line and sinker along for the energetic, engaging and very flamboyant lifestyle that came tumbling down.
A solid foundation is where it starts but even then we must remain vigilant, focused and in tune with our significant other. If we don't we run the risk of all of the above.
Too many standout lines.
By golly, you're good. Loved this. SO much. It shared a vulnerability that I can empathise with and understand.
We sometimes sabotage what we have unknowingly or alternatively while we stand by and watch ourselves doing it.
We're a funny breed. This was bang on and I'm sure many including myself can relate to parts or all of this.
More gold for you.
Outstanding Tom!
Cheers P
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Wow! Wow! Wow!
Did NOT expect the ending. I got so carried away in your rhyming perfection I got taken hook, line and sinker along for the energetic, engaging and very flamboyant lifestyle that came tumbling down.
A solid foundation is where it starts but even then we must remain vigilant, focused and in tune with our significant other. If we don't we run the risk of all of the above.
Too many standout lines.
By golly, you're good. Loved this. SO much. It shared a vulnerability that I can empathise with and understand.
We sometimes sabotage what we have unknowingly or alternatively while we stand by and watch ourselves doing it.
We're a funny breed. This was bang on and I'm sure many including myself can relate to parts or all of this.
More gold for you.
Outstanding Tom!
Cheers P
Comment Written 24-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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I am very flattered by this outstanding review P. I thank you very much my friend. tom
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Tom,
This is a great poem. The rhymes work well, the meter is smooth, but your message stands above all. What a sad, sad life that man lived. He was so wrapped up in himself & his greed that it ate away at him until there was nothing left. What an awful way to live & die. Your poem has a great message that many will never know because they get caught in his web of deceit. Great job & thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Tom,
This is a great poem. The rhymes work well, the meter is smooth, but your message stands above all. What a sad, sad life that man lived. He was so wrapped up in himself & his greed that it ate away at him until there was nothing left. What an awful way to live & die. Your poem has a great message that many will never know because they get caught in his web of deceit. Great job & thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 24-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Thank you so very much Jan. I am truly honored and delighted you found this post so worthy. Thanks again Jan. tom
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Wow, I didn't expect that end and your poem is quite shocking and resonating, how dispair can make someone take their own life, best wishes, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Wow, I didn't expect that end and your poem is quite shocking and resonating, how dispair can make someone take their own life, best wishes, love Dolly x
Comment Written 24-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Thank you very much Dolly. tom
