I Stand A Naked Man
A life lived.62 total reviews
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello EasyEverett1 do I see a classic example of Nerudian poetic style and vision?
To me your poem majorly explores a man's fear of realizes his mission as a poet to point out the helplessness that a man faces at the brink of death who reek with hopelessness.
I say your poem has an elegiac feel to it and paints a picture of impressionistic picture of doom. And sketches a metaphysical picture of the grim reality and finally the tyranny of death.
Gert
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2017
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Hello EasyEverett1 do I see a classic example of Nerudian poetic style and vision?
To me your poem majorly explores a man's fear of realizes his mission as a poet to point out the helplessness that a man faces at the brink of death who reek with hopelessness.
I say your poem has an elegiac feel to it and paints a picture of impressionistic picture of doom. And sketches a metaphysical picture of the grim reality and finally the tyranny of death.
Gert
Comment Written 27-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2017
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Excellent review Gert. Thanks a million. tom
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A response to your poem (You are welcome Tom easyeverett1
Keep writing .
A response to your poem
( Angels sing and Poets Dance)
on the way
Gert
Comment from Ogden
Well, it seems to turn out that the piece is not autobiographical.
It is an interesting tale of a Machiavellian man with sufficient regrets to give the author a way to end a poem that was becoming somewhat longish (running into a bit of tense-confusion in the next to last stanza - and brought the wife's demise to the present in the space of one line).
I trust that the poem has not been posted posthumously.
Don (aka Ogden)
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2017
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Well, it seems to turn out that the piece is not autobiographical.
It is an interesting tale of a Machiavellian man with sufficient regrets to give the author a way to end a poem that was becoming somewhat longish (running into a bit of tense-confusion in the next to last stanza - and brought the wife's demise to the present in the space of one line).
I trust that the poem has not been posted posthumously.
Don (aka Ogden)
Comment Written 27-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2017
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I'll double check but I think I'm still kicking Don. lol Thanks a bunch my friend. tom
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You're welcome, Tom. I'm glad you have that sense of humor.
Don
Comment from Mimi Linny
I love the first stanza with the opening of the tattered leather bag holding photos of past memories - what a strong beginning to your story of the man who regrets the greedy path he has taken in life and reflects on what could have been with his lovely bride. You've effectively recalled the tattered leather bag using it as the vehicle to bring to finality the sad ending of a regretted life. Very descriptive passages with well-rhymed stanzas. Wonderful job!
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2017
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I love the first stanza with the opening of the tattered leather bag holding photos of past memories - what a strong beginning to your story of the man who regrets the greedy path he has taken in life and reflects on what could have been with his lovely bride. You've effectively recalled the tattered leather bag using it as the vehicle to bring to finality the sad ending of a regretted life. Very descriptive passages with well-rhymed stanzas. Wonderful job!
Comment Written 27-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2017
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I am very flattered Mimi. I thank you so much my friend. tom
Comment from visionary1234
A sad and moral story, and a good portrait of a life gone wrong here, e.e. - one that, of course, appeals to our emotions and has a satisfying ending ('just deserts' etc). In your second last verse your use of the present tense 'dies' didn't seem to gel with your use above that of the past tense though - a minor point.
:)S
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2017
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A sad and moral story, and a good portrait of a life gone wrong here, e.e. - one that, of course, appeals to our emotions and has a satisfying ending ('just deserts' etc). In your second last verse your use of the present tense 'dies' didn't seem to gel with your use above that of the past tense though - a minor point.
:)S
Comment Written 27-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2017
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Good catch visionary. I corrected it and I thank you for the heads up. tom
Comment from Nika2016
A very sad commentary on a wasted life...with an ending that is even sadder....Until he lost his wife I felt that he could be redeemed, but anyone who could break the heart of an innocent is beyond redemption? Interesting poem.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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A very sad commentary on a wasted life...with an ending that is even sadder....Until he lost his wife I felt that he could be redeemed, but anyone who could break the heart of an innocent is beyond redemption? Interesting poem.
Comment Written 27-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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I thank you very much Nika. Great review. tom
Comment from Hitcher
One can sow the seeds of darkness without even knowing it because they are blinded by an unquenchable desire to achieve at all costs and leave destruction in their wake. awesome poem my good man, my kind of poetry... loved it!!
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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One can sow the seeds of darkness without even knowing it because they are blinded by an unquenchable desire to achieve at all costs and leave destruction in their wake. awesome poem my good man, my kind of poetry... loved it!!
Comment Written 26-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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I am so pleased you enjoyed this tale of the American Male under the leadership of Donald Trump Hitch. I am imagine we both know men and women who have been seduced by "unquenchable desires" and seen them ultimately pay an unforgiving price. Thanks one more time for supporting my scribbles my friend. It keeps me keepin' on. tom
Comment from LIJ Red
Hard to believe the wife didn't give him a swift kick to the crotch and sue him for his back teeth. Yes, the iambic tetrameter and abcb rhymes are what I enjoy. Fivers.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Hard to believe the wife didn't give him a swift kick to the crotch and sue him for his back teeth. Yes, the iambic tetrameter and abcb rhymes are what I enjoy. Fivers.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Thank you Lil Red. Most honored. tom
Comment from damommy
A lovely poem depicting what happens when we're so caught up in our own says and chasing the almighty dollar. This man was so in tune with his own wants, he didn't see what was around and ended up a lonely old man who did himself in.
This is beautifully written, with great meter and rhyme. I am especially fond of the a,b,c,b rhyme scheme, and this one flowed so easily.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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A lovely poem depicting what happens when we're so caught up in our own says and chasing the almighty dollar. This man was so in tune with his own wants, he didn't see what was around and ended up a lonely old man who did himself in.
This is beautifully written, with great meter and rhyme. I am especially fond of the a,b,c,b rhyme scheme, and this one flowed so easily.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Thank you damommy for a fine review. tom
Comment from ronnie k
" a ragged, tattered leather bag " wonderful line, this line set the mood and expectations for me, something new now old but of value and this write says VALUE>
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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" a ragged, tattered leather bag " wonderful line, this line set the mood and expectations for me, something new now old but of value and this write says VALUE>
Comment Written 26-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Thank you so very much Ronnie K. I am honored. tom
Comment from Sharon Haiste
This is a lovely story of the rise and fall of a man who has experienced a life of greed. The ending is tragic.
Well written, good rhythm and flow, well rhymed, altogether a well told story. It's easy to envision.
Sharon
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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This is a lovely story of the rise and fall of a man who has experienced a life of greed. The ending is tragic.
Well written, good rhythm and flow, well rhymed, altogether a well told story. It's easy to envision.
Sharon
Comment Written 26-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
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Thank you once again Sharon. tom
