I Stand A Naked Man
A life lived.62 total reviews
Comment from Douglas Goff
This is a a good representation of many "mover and shakers" lives, albeit a bit morbid.
I feel like most f these fellas are way too self- centered to ever have a 'come to Jesus' suicidal reality check moment.
Of course, some
May slip
Through the cracks int the real world.
Descriptive:
today he stands a naked man
reflected in the full length glass
of one more sterile penthouse suite;
bath fixtures proud old polished brass.
Great piece!
D
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This is a a good representation of many "mover and shakers" lives, albeit a bit morbid.
I feel like most f these fellas are way too self- centered to ever have a 'come to Jesus' suicidal reality check moment.
Of course, some
May slip
Through the cracks int the real world.
Descriptive:
today he stands a naked man
reflected in the full length glass
of one more sterile penthouse suite;
bath fixtures proud old polished brass.
Great piece!
D
Comment Written 25-Oct-2023
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Congratulations on winning Poem of the Month!; I can see why you did. This flows well with unforced rhymes and tell a story. I read regret and the feelings of being stuck within what had happened.
Best wishes,
Alexandra
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Congratulations on winning Poem of the Month!; I can see why you did. This flows well with unforced rhymes and tell a story. I read regret and the feelings of being stuck within what had happened.
Best wishes,
Alexandra
Comment Written 25-Oct-2023
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello EASYEVERETT1,
It's a nice piece of General Poetry having impressive phraseology, enchanting flow throughout from the beginning up to the end, and beautifully depicting its theme.
The last two stanzas are particularly noteworthy.
Best of luck!
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Hello EASYEVERETT1,
It's a nice piece of General Poetry having impressive phraseology, enchanting flow throughout from the beginning up to the end, and beautifully depicting its theme.
The last two stanzas are particularly noteworthy.
Best of luck!
Comment Written 25-Oct-2023
Comment from Katie Mae Dead
You've done fabulously with this tetrameter. It's more of a challenge than most people believe. It's hard to keep a natural flow about it (if that's what you're shooting for)
This is quite creepy and very Poe-like which is a complement. Such a geat poetic expression of shooting oneself in the head. Your last two lines hit hard.
Cheer the heck up easy! Post something a little more upbeat sometime. It's all about the balance easy.
So superbly done as usual.
Katiemaedead
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You've done fabulously with this tetrameter. It's more of a challenge than most people believe. It's hard to keep a natural flow about it (if that's what you're shooting for)
This is quite creepy and very Poe-like which is a complement. Such a geat poetic expression of shooting oneself in the head. Your last two lines hit hard.
Cheer the heck up easy! Post something a little more upbeat sometime. It's all about the balance easy.
So superbly done as usual.
Katiemaedead
Comment Written 25-Oct-2023
Comment from Navada
Ooh, I did not see that ending coming! The personality you described throughout made me believe this man was unapologetic and unrepentant. This piece put me in mind of Dorian Gray in some ways, although the visage clearly did not remain unblemished. The "sterile penthouse suite" is a image that conveys a great deal in a few words - the constant pursuit of wealth to the detriment of personal fulfillment. How sad that the protagonist's wife suffered as badly as she did. Lovely writing once again and with a surprising and satisfying twist to boot.
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Ooh, I did not see that ending coming! The personality you described throughout made me believe this man was unapologetic and unrepentant. This piece put me in mind of Dorian Gray in some ways, although the visage clearly did not remain unblemished. The "sterile penthouse suite" is a image that conveys a great deal in a few words - the constant pursuit of wealth to the detriment of personal fulfillment. How sad that the protagonist's wife suffered as badly as she did. Lovely writing once again and with a surprising and satisfying twist to boot.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2023
Comment from jenintorre
Sadly I know this man. A truly exceptionally written poem. Exquisite rhyme as ever. What more can I say. Thanks so much for sharing. Best wishes. Jen.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Sadly I know this man. A truly exceptionally written poem. Exquisite rhyme as ever. What more can I say. Thanks so much for sharing. Best wishes. Jen.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2023
Comment from Paul McFarland
I wonder how many times that scenario has been played out. Nicely done. A fine story that keeps the reader's interest, even though I did guess what was going to happen.
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I wonder how many times that scenario has been played out. Nicely done. A fine story that keeps the reader's interest, even though I did guess what was going to happen.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2023
Comment from Boogienights
What a sad story, a tragic end. This kept my attention from the first word to the last, knowing that this senerio has probably played out many times. Excellent rhyming, very worthy of poem of the month.
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What a sad story, a tragic end. This kept my attention from the first word to the last, knowing that this senerio has probably played out many times. Excellent rhyming, very worthy of poem of the month.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2023
Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell
Everything poetic is absolutely correct in this bitterly sad poem. Such a gift you have to tell a story in a poem - all beautifully express and hopeless. The title perfectly expresses your poem's idea.
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Everything poetic is absolutely correct in this bitterly sad poem. Such a gift you have to tell a story in a poem - all beautifully express and hopeless. The title perfectly expresses your poem's idea.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2023
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Quite an interesting tale of being and in love and greed. Greed won out, but at the end, too late, the man realized how things went wrong. Sorry, I missed this poem of the month entry when it first came out. Thak you for reposting it.
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Quite an interesting tale of being and in love and greed. Greed won out, but at the end, too late, the man realized how things went wrong. Sorry, I missed this poem of the month entry when it first came out. Thak you for reposting it.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2023
