Comment from prettybluebirds

Excellent

Excellent writing, my friend. I wondered how the boy became a girl, but you cleared that mystery up. It is a very clever plot and now I wait to find out what Lina's mother tells her.

 Comment Written 24-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017

Thank you for your wonderful review. I'll work a little more on that story once I get back into the swing of things. I've had my grandson with me since Wednesday, and I definitely have to agree there's a reason why God gave kids to the young.

Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from F. Wehr3

Excellent

Rhonda, I loved the twist to this story, not one that I expected. Really strong work and I look forward to more.

"Good-bye Chance," --Even though he's dead, you're still addressing him. Suggest
a comma before Chance.

Happy Thanksgiving,
Russell

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017

Oh, wow, thanks for noticing the comma issue. You are so right. I knew something didn't look right about that sentence.

Have a great rest of your weekend.
I appreciate the time you always take to make careful observations.

Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from LaRosa

Exceptional

Your ability to travel back and forth in time to tell the story is well done.
You held this reader's attention all the way through.
And, now we understand why Lina isn't allowed into the woods.

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017

Thank you, LaRosa, for the brilliant six star rating. I appreciate the uplifting comments, and the care you took to read with care.

The travel back and forth is a new technique I'm trying. It was suggested on another book I've been writing on here, and I've thought a lot about it. I decided to try it on this book. Thank you for commenting on it.

Take care,
Rhonda

reply by LaRosa on 21-Nov-2017

You do it like an expert. :)

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017

Thank you!!

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

I never expected this turn of events. I am wondering what will happen now. Will Mindy ever meet up with this lady again? I love the irony with Chuck.

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017

Thank you, Barbara! I can't tell you whether they'll meet again, but I will tell you Lina will find her roots calling to her in an irresistible way.

Thanks for the read and review,
Rhonda

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Hi Rhonda, I think this is an amazing chapter. How she gives birth to a stillborn child only to be presented with a little baby daughter. I can't wait to reading on. All the best. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017

Thank you, Ulla. It's hard to come back after being gone for a while. It's hard to get back into the stride.

Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from royowen

Excellent

What a beautifully imaginative twist you've brought to your story Rhonda, I must admit, I wouldn't have thought of this chance meeting, and indeed if the mysterious young mum will be met again! I'm really enjoying this splendid tale. It has released the creative author in you. (Not that it wasn't already liberated) well done, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017

Wow, thank you, Roy. In a way, I think you're right. All that I went through sort of changed my outlook on life. I also had a lot of time to read while being out and that helped as well. I appreciate your comments so very much. Some people thought I was a bit dark, but had a reason for it. That's why I posted all three chapters so closely together. To get the message across of the sacrifice of two mothers, and the strange beginning of Lina.

Again, much thanks,
Rhonda

reply by royowen on 22-Nov-2017

Good job

Comment from giraffmang

Exceptional

A very mysterious addition to the story here. Setting up a good bit of intrigue. lots of possibilities. This should be a cracking story.

She stood transfixed by the site of the precious child - sight.

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017

Again, thank you so much for the six stars. It means a great deal to me because I know your stars don't fall indiscriminately.
Thanks, also, for finding the spag. I have a lot of trouble with the whole site/sight thing. Again, I know the difference, I just get in the flow and forget myself.

Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

Clever move, having Mindy trade babies. Her new "daughter" has curly black hair like Chance's, so maybe Chuck fathered this child too. He probably has his way with a lot of women in the area. That would be so funny, if he really IS the father of Lina!

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017

I had thought about that angle, Phyllis, I really did. I probably won't go for that twist, but it does help him accept the baby as his so he won't abuse her.

Thanks for reading close enough to catch the similarities, and to come up with ideas. All of these are helpful to writers, as well you know!

Take care,
Rhonda

reply by Phyllis Stewart on 21-Nov-2017

Ohhhh.... Chuck will believe he is the father, of course. So you're right. It does help. Still, he wants a son, so I'm afraid he will keep raping Mindy till he gets one. UNLESS... unless this baby girl is spunky, like her mom, and he treats her like a tomboy and she's good at hunting and fighting.

Comment from Mustang Patty

Excellent

Hi, Rhonda;
This is great. A totally unexpected turn of events; but one that allowed Mindy to keep the child with her. I think God had them both in the same place at the same time for a reason.

Great story and I look forward to reading more,

~patty~

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017

Thank you, Patty. Their lives will be intermingled now that Lina has reached a point in life where she has to find out who she is.

Comment from Margaret Snowdon

Exceptional

Good to see you posting, Rhonda - I take it you are feeling better - I sincerely hope so. I've been off myself after a stroke, but am doing well apart from tiring so easily.

I thought I'd pop in today - first review.

Mindy's doing well - all in all, a wonderfully presented chapter, my friend.

She heard a low moaning she couldn't tell whether was human or animal - this sounds a little strange - might consider losing "was" OR adding "it" beforehand.


Blessings,
Margaret

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017

Hi Margaret!

Thank your for the very generous review!

I did hear you had had a stroke, but am so glad it hasn't stopped you from coming back to the site.

I am doing much better now. It seemed I was able to post all at once. It took my strength a long time to come back. I know how it can be.

Thank you for your review and tip on the wording. It does sound much better that way. I thought it a bit awkward, too.

I'm afraid I am woefully behind on your books. You are such a fast writer! Anyway, I am so glad to see you back on here. I was very worried, my friend.

Take care and rest often!
Rhonda