Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 53 "Chapter Sechzehn part drei"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
21 total reviews
Comment from zekeziemann
YOu are very good at creating an entertaining dialogue. The story keeps ones interest and moves swiftly. I had a little trouble keeping the characters straight.
Well done.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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YOu are very good at creating an entertaining dialogue. The story keeps ones interest and moves swiftly. I had a little trouble keeping the characters straight.
Well done.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from robyn corum
Barbara,
This painting is such an important part of the story -- do you have an image for it at all or is it just one that you've made up? Each chapter that I've read makes me more 'curiouser and curiouser' about it. *smile*
One small note, if I may?
1.) She held up the strand of pearls. "I can't, really, I can't."
--> of COURSE you can!!! Take 'em!! hahahahaha
YAY! Thanks for the smile!
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Barbara,
This painting is such an important part of the story -- do you have an image for it at all or is it just one that you've made up? Each chapter that I've read makes me more 'curiouser and curiouser' about it. *smile*
One small note, if I may?
1.) She held up the strand of pearls. "I can't, really, I can't."
--> of COURSE you can!!! Take 'em!! hahahahaha
YAY! Thanks for the smile!
Comment Written 22-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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LOL Yes, it is a real painting. I think I have used an image in one of my first posts. I'll go back and check. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sis Cat
Excellent. One of the brilliant things about your writing is that you interweave several threads--a stolen painting, the budding romance of Anderson and Shana, and Shana's Jewish--creating a strong rope that supports your novel.
This passage reminded me of Richard Gere and Julia Roberts in the movie Pretty Woman: "No, this is too much." Shana covered her mouth. "I can't accept either of these. They're beautiful. You must send them back." She held up the strand of pearls. "I can't, really, I can't." Her eyes met Anderson's.
I think that at this point Anderson and Shana should date and make their relationship official, which I feel what is happening now. I keep screaming at the screen, "Say 'I love you.'"
By the time I read this, I felt it was too late: "I just don't want to get too far in debt to him or anyone."
I love this detail on faith and culture as Shana debates whether or not to remove the Star of David necklace her grandmother gave her and replace it with Anderson's pearls:
She touched her Star of David necklace. "I wonder what the protocol is for wearing this with pearls. I've never taken it off since Grandma gave it to me for my sixteenth birthday. That birthday changed my life. I learned what it truly meant to be Jewish."
I knew it: "I spoke with Erich Berger. He said he never auctioned that painting."
This sets up your next installment. Once again, your beautifully weave these strands of stories creating a rope that supports and carries this reader's attention and imagination. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Excellent. One of the brilliant things about your writing is that you interweave several threads--a stolen painting, the budding romance of Anderson and Shana, and Shana's Jewish--creating a strong rope that supports your novel.
This passage reminded me of Richard Gere and Julia Roberts in the movie Pretty Woman: "No, this is too much." Shana covered her mouth. "I can't accept either of these. They're beautiful. You must send them back." She held up the strand of pearls. "I can't, really, I can't." Her eyes met Anderson's.
I think that at this point Anderson and Shana should date and make their relationship official, which I feel what is happening now. I keep screaming at the screen, "Say 'I love you.'"
By the time I read this, I felt it was too late: "I just don't want to get too far in debt to him or anyone."
I love this detail on faith and culture as Shana debates whether or not to remove the Star of David necklace her grandmother gave her and replace it with Anderson's pearls:
She touched her Star of David necklace. "I wonder what the protocol is for wearing this with pearls. I've never taken it off since Grandma gave it to me for my sixteenth birthday. That birthday changed my life. I learned what it truly meant to be Jewish."
I knew it: "I spoke with Erich Berger. He said he never auctioned that painting."
This sets up your next installment. Once again, your beautifully weave these strands of stories creating a rope that supports and carries this reader's attention and imagination. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2017
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Shana and Anderson have a lot going against them. Will Patricia rear her ugly head again or is she totally out of the picture? Hmm, good question. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from mmonaghan777
Maybe light on action but definitely adds to the cliff hanger effect. There was action in the dress try on, excitement and learning what the auction house had to say. Can't wait for more.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2017
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Maybe light on action but definitely adds to the cliff hanger effect. There was action in the dress try on, excitement and learning what the auction house had to say. Can't wait for more.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Barbara.
"I can't accept either of these. They're beautiful." (Wow, that speaks volumes for her self-confidence, huh?)
"*****
When Shana entered the den both Anderson and Philip stood." (It's nothing, but, you might want to add a space after the scene break just for appearance sake.)
I have to disagree with the end of your notes about the action. I, personally, think it sets the scene perfectly for what is to come.
So, the plot thickens and the lawyer will be there soon as well... looking forward to the results, my friend.
Great job.
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2017
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G'day Barbara.
"I can't accept either of these. They're beautiful." (Wow, that speaks volumes for her self-confidence, huh?)
"*****
When Shana entered the den both Anderson and Philip stood." (It's nothing, but, you might want to add a space after the scene break just for appearance sake.)
I have to disagree with the end of your notes about the action. I, personally, think it sets the scene perfectly for what is to come.
So, the plot thickens and the lawyer will be there soon as well... looking forward to the results, my friend.
Great job.
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 21-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2017
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Thank you so much for your generous review. I appreciate it.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
So there really is no record of the painting ever being sold. It must have been stolen, but when and how? It's theft would be noticed if someone took it from the wall. If it was in storage, that makes it harder. I would think the current "owner" would need to show proof of purchase. And you can always track down a forgery... but then it HAS been a long time...
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
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So there really is no record of the painting ever being sold. It must have been stolen, but when and how? It's theft would be noticed if someone took it from the wall. If it was in storage, that makes it harder. I would think the current "owner" would need to show proof of purchase. And you can always track down a forgery... but then it HAS been a long time...
Comment Written 21-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from rama devi
It's true that not much happens in this chapter but it picks up a pace by the end. Since it is a chapter-section, that is not an issue. Otherwise, it is fine wit good characterization in dialog and fine narrative flow. One typos:
* Philip rapped a drumroll on the arm of his chair.
drum roll is two words, not one.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
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It's true that not much happens in this chapter but it picks up a pace by the end. Since it is a chapter-section, that is not an issue. Otherwise, it is fine wit good characterization in dialog and fine narrative flow. One typos:
* Philip rapped a drumroll on the arm of his chair.
drum roll is two words, not one.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 21-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
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I had it as two words and a reviewer told me it was one word so I changed it. Oh NO!! Now what??? Thank you for the help. I just checked my dictionary. It says one word.
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How funny. Spell check underlines it and says two words!
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It looks odd to my eye as two words, but I think most readers will not trip on it as one word.
Comment from apky
The story progresses very well and my curiosity with it.
You have an uncomplicated way of writing, making the read
very clear to any reader. Add to that the theme of the story
and your cast of characters, there's always reason for interest.
I look forward to the next post.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
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The story progresses very well and my curiosity with it.
You have an uncomplicated way of writing, making the read
very clear to any reader. Add to that the theme of the story
and your cast of characters, there's always reason for interest.
I look forward to the next post.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2017
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from rtobaygo
Good afternoon, Barbara
Excellent continuation. I like how you use the daily routines of your characters to offset the unfolding drama they're involved in. I enjoyed the read.
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2017
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Good afternoon, Barbara
Excellent continuation. I like how you use the daily routines of your characters to offset the unfolding drama they're involved in. I enjoyed the read.
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
Comment Written 20-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2017
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, I can understand if Shana feels embarrassed about the dress. Oh there is enough of action. Stories need to move on, and the Russian mafia is not to be sneezed at. I'm glad you're okay again. I really enjoyed this. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2017
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Hi Barbara, I can understand if Shana feels embarrassed about the dress. Oh there is enough of action. Stories need to move on, and the Russian mafia is not to be sneezed at. I'm glad you're okay again. I really enjoyed this. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 20-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
