Moonlight Mysteries
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Alone"Two young women make a moonlit exchange.
22 total reviews
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Cowgirl.
We all just got very excited to see a post from you. Great stuff, bring it on!
"The cornstalks seemed to bend down and caress her face with long green leaves tinged in brown. She looked up at them and stroked an ear of corn bulging with yellow seed. She stroked the silky tendrils spilling out its top, and, for a moment, smiled." (Beautiful imagery.)
"They were sitting at the dinner table eating chicken fried steak, buttery mashed potatoes, and fried okra from the garden." (What's chicken fried steak? Maybe chicken, fried steak, I'm not sure lol.)
"I'll tell you what matters and what doesn't," her dad said. He slapped her so hard across her face that her ears rang." (Ouch! Asshole!)
"Well, I don't believe you. You're a slut just like your mother." (Crikey, that brings back a few horrid memories for me.)
"For a moment, no one spoke... no one even flinched. Finally, Chuck spoke up." (This is just me being picky... maybe change "no one" to "nobody... sounds better to me, but tell me to shut if if you want lol.)
"He could have had any woman in town, but had settled on a farm girl... or two." (Ouch!)
I just got goose bumps all over me... what a creep he is... chuck means vomit in Aussie slang!
"She was as ready as any fourteen-year(-)old could get."
Crikey... this hit home very hard... Yikes! Poor bloody kid.
Very well written, albeit scarily familiar, Sis.
Again, it's great to see you up and about on here.
The Kwalas say "kumusta."
Great job.
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2017
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G'day Cowgirl.
We all just got very excited to see a post from you. Great stuff, bring it on!
"The cornstalks seemed to bend down and caress her face with long green leaves tinged in brown. She looked up at them and stroked an ear of corn bulging with yellow seed. She stroked the silky tendrils spilling out its top, and, for a moment, smiled." (Beautiful imagery.)
"They were sitting at the dinner table eating chicken fried steak, buttery mashed potatoes, and fried okra from the garden." (What's chicken fried steak? Maybe chicken, fried steak, I'm not sure lol.)
"I'll tell you what matters and what doesn't," her dad said. He slapped her so hard across her face that her ears rang." (Ouch! Asshole!)
"Well, I don't believe you. You're a slut just like your mother." (Crikey, that brings back a few horrid memories for me.)
"For a moment, no one spoke... no one even flinched. Finally, Chuck spoke up." (This is just me being picky... maybe change "no one" to "nobody... sounds better to me, but tell me to shut if if you want lol.)
"He could have had any woman in town, but had settled on a farm girl... or two." (Ouch!)
I just got goose bumps all over me... what a creep he is... chuck means vomit in Aussie slang!
"She was as ready as any fourteen-year(-)old could get."
Crikey... this hit home very hard... Yikes! Poor bloody kid.
Very well written, albeit scarily familiar, Sis.
Again, it's great to see you up and about on here.
The Kwalas say "kumusta."
Great job.
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 17-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2017
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Thank you for the comments and six star rating, my six star friend.
Yeah, in Texas "chicken fried steak" is a big thing.
I'm glad I chose the name Chuck, then, as it's Aussie slang about sums him up. lol.
Okay, gotta go to my mothers, and she doesn't have internet. I'll be off the grid for a couple of days. I do so appreciate the review and comments. You're the best!!
Comment from MelB
Hi Rhonda, I wish I had a six left to give this. A great start to the story! So sad to think of a 14-year-old with a baby, and having to bury the afterbirth outside. Clearly, a very dysfunctional family story.
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reply by the author on 19-Nov-2017
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Hi Rhonda, I wish I had a six left to give this. A great start to the story! So sad to think of a 14-year-old with a baby, and having to bury the afterbirth outside. Clearly, a very dysfunctional family story.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2017
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Thank you, my dear. I'll take the virtual 6 any time.
The family is very dysfunctional, but somewhat typical for the rural South at that time. The man was the ultimate authority, right or wrong, and was to be followed blindly.
Mindy, though no rebel, is a child of her times, and a bit more strong willed than others in her family. Still, many girls would have to take the blame for things done to them, not by them.
Take care,
Rhonda
