Veteran's Day Eve
six wandering stanzas9 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your poem Red, I love the rhymes, the mention of all the critters, the picture, & how your poem told a story. You used great descriptive words throughout. It is nice to sit & reflect on times past too. I am sure your little dog enjoys sitting with you in the warm sunny spot. I felt like I was right there watching all of this take place. Good job & thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
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I enjoyed your poem Red, I love the rhymes, the mention of all the critters, the picture, & how your poem told a story. You used great descriptive words throughout. It is nice to sit & reflect on times past too. I am sure your little dog enjoys sitting with you in the warm sunny spot. I felt like I was right there watching all of this take place. Good job & thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 11-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
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The rain stopped and dog and I walked around the place, and I wrote down what we saw. I am hoping for a bit of Indian Summer next. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing, and a sixth star makes my day every time.
Comment from damommy
I loved all three formats. Each one held my attention. The catalogue poems are a real pain in the neck, but I enjoyed your very much. I liked the things you mentioned, like the grub worms that fed the bear. Good detail and descriptions.
I like the limerick. What a nice image of you and the dog sharing a fire.
As for the woman in the last poem, I see too many in Wal-Mart like that (Wal-Martians?) and vow to never look like that. 8-)
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
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I loved all three formats. Each one held my attention. The catalogue poems are a real pain in the neck, but I enjoyed your very much. I liked the things you mentioned, like the grub worms that fed the bear. Good detail and descriptions.
I like the limerick. What a nice image of you and the dog sharing a fire.
As for the woman in the last poem, I see too many in Wal-Mart like that (Wal-Martians?) and vow to never look like that. 8-)
Comment Written 11-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
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It may just be my prejudices, I absorbed from my mom and wife what they thought a woman should look like, and they were shy churchgoers with antiquated notions. I'd like to hear their thoughts on the pants based on leggings or the boys who are obviously grieving and flying their pants at half-mast. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
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You probably don't want to hear what they'd say about that. 8-)
Comment from frierajac
This looks like a pastoral to me, quite bucolic in its way; and could polish it up a
little and it would be fine. I don't know about the maid with a satchel ass as a companion image to the old coot.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
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This looks like a pastoral to me, quite bucolic in its way; and could polish it up a
little and it would be fine. I don't know about the maid with a satchel ass as a companion image to the old coot.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
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Ouch!
Comment from For better for verse
Great poem, flows along really well with great rhyme.
Paints a wonderful picture of the onset of winter in a cleverly descriptive way. From blacktop highway bass notes blast, as stylish SUVs scream past....great line.
Great job.......well done.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
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Great poem, flows along really well with great rhyme.
Paints a wonderful picture of the onset of winter in a cleverly descriptive way. From blacktop highway bass notes blast, as stylish SUVs scream past....great line.
Great job.......well done.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
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Practice for the club challenge, a catalog poem. Just what I saw when I walked out. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem mixed in three different formats. When we are getting older different things has more meaning. We can only dream of chasing the cute hunk, or the hot blonde, in your case. We need someone to talk to and laugh through the night that seems to get longer. Lol.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
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A very well-written poem mixed in three different formats. When we are getting older different things has more meaning. We can only dream of chasing the cute hunk, or the hot blonde, in your case. We need someone to talk to and laugh through the night that seems to get longer. Lol.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
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Some of my nights are really long. The cats and dog are lousy conversationalists. Fanstory saves the day. Thanks for reading my mixed suite.
Comment from robyn corum
So we'll sit down and dine on gruelly fare
and preen and pose and talk of Medicare
*smile*
I wish I had a six for this series of imaginative and delicious poems about self and life and seasons -- and honesty, Lige. It is quite brilliant. I enjoyed your post so much. Thanks for being you - you wonderfully YOU kind of guy. *smile*
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
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So we'll sit down and dine on gruelly fare
and preen and pose and talk of Medicare
*smile*
I wish I had a six for this series of imaginative and delicious poems about self and life and seasons -- and honesty, Lige. It is quite brilliant. I enjoyed your post so much. Thanks for being you - you wonderfully YOU kind of guy. *smile*
Comment Written 11-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
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I don't know any women like the one I was berating, but I've seen them in the Walmart...thanks again for reading and reviewing my practice verses, Robyn. They expect frost in the higher elevations tonight...
Comment from Pearl Edwards
I think you've done a great job of the catalog style in the first part of this poem, I haven't attempted that yet, but yours reads really well.And you give us an interesting dialogue to end your little foray into town. Love the - no groupies chase me down ......made me smile. Enjoyed the whole poem Red,
cheers.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
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I think you've done a great job of the catalog style in the first part of this poem, I haven't attempted that yet, but yours reads really well.And you give us an interesting dialogue to end your little foray into town. Love the - no groupies chase me down ......made me smile. Enjoyed the whole poem Red,
cheers.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
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I felt the urge to try other forms after I ran out of wind on the catalog. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from jenintorre
I really enjoyed reading your poem and think it told a great story. The rhyme and rhythm was very good right up until the last stanza which I think needs an edit. Cheers.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
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I really enjoyed reading your poem and think it told a great story. The rhyme and rhythm was very good right up until the last stanza which I think needs an edit. Cheers.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
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Practicing for the potlatch club challenge on the first "catalog" stanza. Added the pseudosonnet and limerick on impulse. Shoulda thought it through a little better. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from BOO ghost
Ride with the wind! BOO's favorite stanza: As the first thick white frost covers grass
and the birds pack their bags and haul ass
Old Red and his dog
will saw up a log
and they'll whine for the winter to pass.
What a joy ride! remembering the good ole days...
BOO-tastic ~
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
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Ride with the wind! BOO's favorite stanza: As the first thick white frost covers grass
and the birds pack their bags and haul ass
Old Red and his dog
will saw up a log
and they'll whine for the winter to pass.
What a joy ride! remembering the good ole days...
BOO-tastic ~
Comment Written 11-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017
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I owned three street bikes and an enduro and wore them all out. Probably well over two hundred thousand miles of riding...
thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
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Enduro,was that a Yamaha?
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A 1972 100CC I bought for the wife. I rebuilt the engine a couple of times, and rode dirt roads, not tracks, Fun, I reckon.
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I had a friend that had an Endura Yamaha 100. We went through creeks, river banks, woods. I rode on back sometimes,he thought he was Evil Kineval, scared the daylights out of me.
