Unaware
It was dark and cold...22 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
MJ,
Super job with this flash fiction piece. Totally told a whole story and did it very well, too, if you ask my opinion. *smile* Great job -- good luck in the voting!
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2017
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MJ,
Super job with this flash fiction piece. Totally told a whole story and did it very well, too, if you ask my opinion. *smile* Great job -- good luck in the voting!
Comment Written 03-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2017
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Thanks so much, Robyn.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Now this could be taken two ways, the policeman thought they found a dead person they were looking for or the person was really dead. Either way, nicely written
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2017
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Now this could be taken two ways, the policeman thought they found a dead person they were looking for or the person was really dead. Either way, nicely written
Comment Written 03-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2017
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Thanks, Barb. She is really dead. It's her ghost telling the story.
Comment from RGstar
I am still trying to work out the end. Was the cop a killer or just explaining to her, he had earlier found a body. You might want to look at the ending, which should be the strongest, I wasn't sure. Perhaps just me, for I thought it was excellent , suspense, kind of eerie, yet, I can't quite figure the ending.
My best wishes.
RG
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2017
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I am still trying to work out the end. Was the cop a killer or just explaining to her, he had earlier found a body. You might want to look at the ending, which should be the strongest, I wasn't sure. Perhaps just me, for I thought it was excellent , suspense, kind of eerie, yet, I can't quite figure the ending.
My best wishes.
RG
Comment Written 03-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2017
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The person telling us the story is a ghost who doesn't realize she's dead till the cop says so.
Thanks for reading.
Comment from royowen
A great shock. I remember watching the Film Ghost, and seeing people escape their bodies, and seeing their mangled remains, realised they were actually DEAD. an excellent little tale Maria, you've done very well with this one, good work, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2017
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A great shock. I remember watching the Film Ghost, and seeing people escape their bodies, and seeing their mangled remains, realised they were actually DEAD. an excellent little tale Maria, you've done very well with this one, good work, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 03-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2017
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Thanks so much, Roy.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Maria Jose Garcia
what great scary writing had me feeling it was a bad dream, guess not by the drastic last line.
An excellent 100 word flash
Gert
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2017
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Hello Maria Jose Garcia
what great scary writing had me feeling it was a bad dream, guess not by the drastic last line.
An excellent 100 word flash
Gert
Comment Written 03-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2017
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Not a dream, no.
Thanks for reading.
Comment from Octavia
Interesting story, Maria. I enjoyed this supernatural write. Good twist at the end. You told a complete ghost story 100 words. Good for you!!
Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2017
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Interesting story, Maria. I enjoyed this supernatural write. Good twist at the end. You told a complete ghost story 100 words. Good for you!!
Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2017
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Thanks for reading, Octavia.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Maria Jose, this is a great flash and I liked the unexpected ending. They are not easy to write at all, but you've done a great job with this one. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2017
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Hi Maria Jose, this is a great flash and I liked the unexpected ending. They are not easy to write at all, but you've done a great job with this one. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 03-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2017
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Thanks, Ulla. I'm glad you like it. Enjoy your evening.
Comment from damommy
What a great ending! Took me by total surprise. No wonder she had lost her shoes.
Seriously, this is very good. Love the photo choice, too.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2017
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What a great ending! Took me by total surprise. No wonder she had lost her shoes.
Seriously, this is very good. Love the photo choice, too.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2017
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I'm glad you like it, Yvonne. Thanks for your review.
Comment from patcelaw
Maria, this is a great entry on the contest. Good luck in the contest. When I got to the last line I actually got a chill. Blessing for a good weekend. Patricia
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2017
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Maria, this is a great entry on the contest. Good luck in the contest. When I got to the last line I actually got a chill. Blessing for a good weekend. Patricia
Comment Written 03-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2017
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Thanks so much, Patricia. Take care.
Comment from DR DIP
Hmmm interesting twist to the story Maria now the lost victim could be inadvertently the suspect in a murder of someone else who was lost but lost their life out there in the wilderness. Thanks for sharing
dip
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2017
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Hmmm interesting twist to the story Maria now the lost victim could be inadvertently the suspect in a murder of someone else who was lost but lost their life out there in the wilderness. Thanks for sharing
dip
Comment Written 03-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2017
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Thanks for reading, Mark.
