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Comment from frierajac
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It is an effective poem and reminds me of Charles Bukowski ( not sure of spelling.
He became famous near his end. He wasn't quite up to working class though as far as I know. He usually lived in San Pedro. Its meant as a complement.

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2017

Comment from giraffmang
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Michael,

Fuck me mate if this doesn't punch one hell of a wallop. The interspersing of perspectives here is very well realised.

People need answers, people look for answers but generally for themselves not the victims nor the 'perpetrator', but who is the victim.

Nature and nurture is an interesting study too - was it always there or does the mind get triggered by external influences?

This is powerful, raw, gritty and real.
G

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2017

Comment from Gloria ....
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I guess I'll begin with the artwork, and say this is someone marked from conception. It looks like an unforgiving place right from the beginning, which of course is the start of this split of the good and evil in a man. Now that the switch is flipped he's going on a rampage. You've woven an important social issue, ie gun control into the discussion about this man's complete disenchantment with society and those in control.

He is the voice of the forgotten men, the wallflowers the ones without a future and now it's payback time. The name of the psychiatrist is great showing as complete disdain for higher education is exemplified in his name. Dr. Redsum Books and all leading to a most predictable conclusion. He was a misfit right from the start and evil too!

Then the flies. Not sure what that reference is, but I'm thinking mother?

He was askin' for it. I mean, it was irresistable (irresistible)

Ugh, the bunny slippers super glued. That's nasty and not funny at all.

And the revenge is so sweet. Who's wearing the bunny slippers now?

My taught (taut) muscles begin to relax, because the conclusion is nigh and death arrives.

Wow. This is an epic free verse, Mav. You've outdone yourself and so many allusions to the current political climate.

Exceptional for sure!

Ange


 Comment Written 05-Nov-2017

Comment from Liberty Justice
Excellent
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Michael cahill, man you were on a role with this one, all fired up! You sensationalized this poem and told it from a journalism poet's point of view. Boy, you scorned and warn and told the facts, and people's testimonials just like it was. Guess you were talking about serial killers who are sociopaths. INTERESTING! lol liberty justice

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2017

Comment from Tim0443
Good
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The sad thing here, is this poor wretch who seeks to somehow rise above the muck by diving in head first. While this is poignant, it is about as palatable as sulphur.

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 Comment Written 05-Nov-2017

Comment from DR DIP
Excellent
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Can't understand why you placed a warning on this poem? lol

you definitely have a way with words michael or should I say robert plant's double lol
Interesting write and accompanying image Michael on a very topical subject.
Thanks for sharing
dip

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 Comment Written 05-Nov-2017

Comment from kiwigirl2821
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I'm going to jump right in Michael and give you a six. There is nothing I can piece by piece say about this so I'm going to give you the what I think about this write. Certainly it has power, which you took when you used such strong, provoking, and debatable words between the sexes. I think they did their job in the write because it was a shell shock second, which made me as a reader pay a little more attention to the next set of words which were nicely divided by color and different fonts.

I'm going to bookmark it if you don't mind so I can look through it again a few times. I'm not sure only one or two reads will give you everything this masterpiece has to offer. Very well written Michael. Bravo. I don't give out that many sixes. Cheers xoxo Kiwi

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2017