Comment from kahpot

Excellent

Excellent poem, 'arise from her ocean soul' beautifully put (written) I like the way your words flow with the colors of your artwork, this is very well done****kahpot

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2017

Thanks for a positive review and your encouraging words. I appreciate your taking time to read my poem. Elaine

Comment from sfharper

Excellent

I can feel your enjoyment of water and with the colors of autumn in this poem. I'm not certain what the word "bow" means, I picture it as the end of her tail as the shape, picking up the color like a ribbon--I hope that is the right one. Otherwise, I was entirely clear. Very enjoyable read.

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2017

Thanks for a great review. Elaine

reply by sfharper on 13-Nov-2017

You're welcome Elaine

Comment from Wabigoon

Excellent

Mermaids-
Not sure what you are trying to say here. But, I think, ultimately, the last line does not work. What about mermaids explains that last line, or what has gone before that does?

Thanks
Wabigoon/Jeff

 Comment Written 13-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 13-Nov-2017

Thanks for reading and enjoying. I'll have to go back and read the poem again and maybe make some adjustments with the last line. Thanks again. Elaine

Comment from teols2016

Excellent

This is a pretty poem. She sounds just lovely...how do I get in touch with her. Seriously, you create great imagery in such few words and I enjoyed reading this piece. Well done.

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017

Love your review. Thanks so much. Elaine

Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)

Excellent

I have put three mermaid based poems up in three days and have about five in my folio with more I haven't posted. I am obsessed with them and enjoy any poetry or writing about them, I am writing a book about the fact behind the fiction, mermaid tales. This is such a lovely change of pace well done kind regards Meia xx

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 11-Nov-2017

I love your mermaid poems. I am obsessed with mermaids and mermen, I can't seem to stop writing about. Thanks for reading and enjoying. Elaine

Comment from Poetic Friend

Excellent

Mermaids,

I like your colors and personification of autumn. Your poem provides your reader much to see, feel and hear. The imagery is stunning.

Those autumn tunes rang beautifully.

Well done, Mermaids.

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 10-Nov-2017

I love Autumn and why not an Autumn mermaid? Thanks for a great review. Elaine

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi there,

I know a lot of poets like to not punctuate their pieces fully but it can help with the flow of the piece. Also, the use of lines in the presentation can help with this as well.

This is how I perceived it as I read it through for the second or third time. grouping it together can interfere with the flow.

red, yellow, orange
arise from her ocean
soul,

leaves bow
to her fish-tail

cool breezes
caress her smooth
skin as songbirds sing

Autumn's tunes

Just a thought.
Nice
GMG

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017

I am going to change the structure of this poem. I appreciate your suggestions and agree with it. This is an area I often have difficulty in. Thanks so much. Elaine

Comment from frierajac

Excellent

The only way I can respond to this is to say that in the original story, The Little Mermaid wanted to be human. Perhaps the application of colors and their designated word descriptions and appreciation is an indication of humanity.

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017

Thanks for a great review. I love the Little Mermaid. Elaine

reply by frierajac on 11-Nov-2017

best wishes

Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear

Excellent

This speaks about the autumn mermaid is so carefree and innocent to enjoy the colours around the ocean and comforting cool breezes and songbird like feature sings autumn's tunes; I liked.

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2017

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reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017

Thanks for a great review. Elaine

Comment from Mark Schardine

Excellent

I am glad that mermaids know how to celebrate the autumn, and present the dazzling colors of this time of year. Thank you for sharing this poem.

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2017

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reply by the author on 09-Nov-2017

I am glad you enjoyed the image of Autumn with a mermaid. Thanks for a great review. Elaine