Comment from Mustang Patty

Excellent

Hi, Sandra;
Another well-written chapter in your story. This one was full of emotion as things transpired, and a bit of anxiety as I wondered along with Veronica about how things would go.

Looking forward to more,

~patty~

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2017

---

reply by the author on 28-Oct-2017

Thank you, Patty, yes there is a lot going on, and there's quite a bit of stress in Joe's and Veronica's life at the moment. Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra. xx

Comment from apky

Excellent

Rabulous, Sandra.

This time you made it pretty short and left it off at the bespoke cliffhanger.
I can't wait for the next chapter. In fact I'm now so into this story that I don't want it to end.

Great work.

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2017

---

reply by the author on 28-Oct-2017

I thought I'd better make them shorter in case reviewers start to get upset with the length. Mind you, sometimes it's just not possible. I'm glad you enjoyed this part, my friend. and liked the ending. Big hugs! :) Sandra. xx

Comment from wordsfromsue

Excellent

I've not quite worked out the ending.
Lady Geendolyne's ghost?

Who is Francis' mother? Am I too thick to catch that?

Good chapter.

I like the attention you give to scenery description.

How many more chapters before it all comes together?? :-)

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2017

---

reply by the author on 27-Oct-2017

It's getting there, Sue, lol. pop in again and you might find out. Thank you my friend, for reading and reviewing. You know I can't give the plot away!! LOL! xxx

Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca

Excellent

Excellent interration between the players, a lot of questions leaving the story open to different ways for it to go. No problems noted

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2017

---

reply by the author on 27-Oct-2017

Thank you, my dear friend! I really do appreciate you reading my story and I do love your thoughts on it. thank you! :) Sandra xxx

Comment from StanNJ

Excellent

The narrative is easy to follow. The time-travel element blends in quite seamlessly, aiding its credulity despite its otherwise incredible nature.

Nicely done.

Stan

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2017

---

reply by the author on 27-Oct-2017

Thank you for stopping by and reading this part in my book, Stan, I really appreciate that. It was so nice to read that you found it credible, now that is a compliment. Thank you! Big hugs. Sandra. xx

Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)

Excellent

Oh I love the West Country and lived there for a time. This was absolutely woderful such a joy to read. I absolutely adored it. Kindest regards Love Meia xx

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2017

---

reply by the author on 27-Oct-2017

We don't live far from Newquay so we go there a lot, it's my favourite place in England. I'd move there if it wasn't so expensive to buy property there now. I'm glad you enjoyed it, thanks, Meia. :) Sandra xx

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

HI, my dear. Love the closing hook. This is a good chapter. Draws in and holds he attention. Well paced. Superb diction and characterization. Good balance of dialog and descriptive narrative.

A few suggestions:

*
Joe stooped and picked up a stone, and bringing his arm back for momentum, threw it out into the night.

Trim the first AND and add a comma before bringing:

Joe stooped, picked up a stone, and, bringing his arm back for momentum, threw it out into the night.

*

'Lady Gwendolyn--Sir John's wife,' I replied, surprised at his question.
suggest trimming speech tag:

'Lady Gwendolyn--Sir John's wife.' I felt surprised at his question.

*
'No,' I said slowly as I considered the question.

'No.' I considered the question.

*
'Will I see you tomorrow anyways?' he asked as he turned to go.

'Will I see you tomorrow anyways?' He turned to go.

* My mind was in turmoil. Good place for a simile (showing more than telling)

Outstanding closing hook:

I spun around and stared into the eyes of the woman I'd thought to be Lady Gwendolyn, only this time it was her ghost....


Lots of Love,
rd

PS I may not be reviewing much next month - have a bunch of editing work coming in. Will be in touch off site (when you make installments - *wink* - i was notified of an 'echeck' coming today. Never got one of those before!) I will try to visit FS on occasion...

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2017

---

reply by the author on 27-Oct-2017

Thank you so much for that help, Rama. I've made the changes, but still thinking of a good simile to add to her turmoil! I really appreciate the time you take with your reviews, my friend. Thank you. Big hugs. Sandra. xx

reply by rama devi on 27-Oct-2017

xxoo Big hugs back! :-))))

reply by rama devi on 27-Oct-2017

xxoo Big hugs back! :-))))

reply by rama devi on 27-Oct-2017

xxoo Big hugs back! :-))))

Comment from Rasmine

Excellent

Hello, Sandra,
This is really good. I love that she made contact with the child; also that he has a caregiver.
I found one concern:
'Will I see you tomorrow anyways (anyway)?' he asked as he turned to go.

I looked into his troubled eyes.
If he turned to go, did she go in front of him to look into his eyes?
I know that I do this too.

Have a great weekend. :)

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2017

---

reply by the author on 27-Oct-2017

Hi, Rasmine, thank you so much for another of your lovely reviews. I smiled at the first concern you had. 'Anyways' is as it should be, they also say, ' knows it is,' and other such words like that. Many people in Hampshire, where i'm living now say it that way too. It's bad grammar but it's an endearing way they have in speaking. My own part of England, Suffolk, is even worse! Of course there are also the 'posh' ones in both counties., LOL. The second concern is a valid point and I've gone back and changed it to, ...
he asked before he turned to go... In fact, I'm not sure of that either, I think I'll change that line. LOL!!! Thank you, my friend. :) Sandra. xx

reply by Rasmine on 27-Oct-2017

Okay, :) I can't wait for the next chapter! :P So, get going! :P Just kidding.

Comment from RPSaxena

Exceptional

Hello Sandramitchell,
It's a nice piece of General Fiction having smooth and captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end.
Interesting and matching the theme phraseology.
What I like most is its END working as a hook:
"... only this time it was her ghost...."
Laudable!

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2017

---

reply by the author on 27-Oct-2017

I'm so pleased you enjoyed the ending, lol, I do like to end my parts with something enticing. Thank you so much for the lovely 6 stars, and wonderful review, my friend. Big hugs. Sandra xxx

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi, Sandra

= Another excellent chapter, my friend.
= It's always such a pleasure reading your work.
= Although, I must say for all her time traveling, she has to be one tired lady going back and forth.
= Still, as long as she does, I'll be reading. Good stuff.

= Cheers, J
= Have a good day/evening!
= Remember--A Smile Is A Frown Upside Town (*<*)

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2017

---

reply by the author on 27-Oct-2017

LOL, Jackie, I never thought of that. I'll have to think, I think I'll have it as if her body is asleep while her travelling body is running around. Thank you so much, my friend. :) Sandra xxx