Don't Let My Dog Be Left Behind
Without Bud, we'll lighten our load.62 total reviews
Comment from ~Dovey
Hi Andre -
Even before getting to the author's notes I thought I noted a kindred spirit to Chuck Berry's, Johnny B. Goode. (I've always loved that song, such a catchy beat!)
I'm so glad that this had a happy ending and that Buddy remained with the rest of his family. How tragic to lose a beloved pet. I think you've met your songwriting challenge well. If you do add a video of the performance you should put a note in the forum or something so we all remember to come back and check it out.
Good luck in the contest!
Kim
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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Hi Andre -
Even before getting to the author's notes I thought I noted a kindred spirit to Chuck Berry's, Johnny B. Goode. (I've always loved that song, such a catchy beat!)
I'm so glad that this had a happy ending and that Buddy remained with the rest of his family. How tragic to lose a beloved pet. I think you've met your songwriting challenge well. If you do add a video of the performance you should put a note in the forum or something so we all remember to come back and check it out.
Good luck in the contest!
Kim
Comment Written 15-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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Yes, Kim, I am glad Buddy had a happy ending, too. In early drafts I did not state what happened to him after being left behind. I decided to create a story in which Bud caught up with the family who had not traveled far because they were stuck in traffic.
Thanks for noting the influence of Chuck Berry, for your review, and for saying I met the songwriting challenge.
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Kim, as promised, here is the video of my song "Don't Let My Dog Be Left Behind" performed in front of one hundred teenagers. Enjoy:
Comment from Boogienights
This is a great story! Is it true? I know that animals left behind can find their owners even when miles separate them. I like this poem and the picture included. I wish you good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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This is a great story! Is it true? I know that animals left behind can find their owners even when miles separate them. I like this poem and the picture included. I wish you good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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Boogienights, I made this story up, but there have been documented accounts in which pets found their owners after being abandoned. Thank you for your review and for wishing me good luck in the contest.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Very well-written song based on the song Johnny B Good. A boy with a good heart will not leave his beloved dog behind if he could help it. Luckily the dog finds the car and come running to safe himself.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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Very well-written song based on the song Johnny B Good. A boy with a good heart will not leave his beloved dog behind if he could help it. Luckily the dog finds the car and come running to safe himself.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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Yes, Sandra, the kid is a boy with a good heart and a smart dog. Thank you for your review.
Comment from l.raven
HI Andre, this would make an awesome song my friend...and I love the story it tells...you never leave the dog behind...I know you wouldn't leave yours...LOL...very well written you...would love to hear music to this poem...love Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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HI Andre, this would make an awesome song my friend...and I love the story it tells...you never leave the dog behind...I know you wouldn't leave yours...LOL...very well written you...would love to hear music to this poem...love Linda xxoo
Comment Written 15-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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Yes, Linda, I would love to hear music to these lyrics, too. I hear in my head an electric guitar, bass, piano, drums, and saxophone like the bands in the fifties had. How I am going to create a backup band for this song is beyond my knowledge right now. I focus on telling a compelling story and writing them. Thank you for your review.
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you are so welcome my friend....sounds great like the band in the fifties...when music was music...love xxoo
Comment from lyenochka
To have Chaucer, Chuck Berry and Eminem all be inspirations for this poem is fabulous! You're a man of many talents, Andre! And I'm looking forward to your video when it comes out.
What struck me most was the pathos of the child and his connection with his dog -
"You got to be out of your mind.
Don't let my dog be left behind."
And then the crescendo from panic to the dog catching up and jumping in (to the open flatbed of a truck maybe?) and the resolution. Really well done!
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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To have Chaucer, Chuck Berry and Eminem all be inspirations for this poem is fabulous! You're a man of many talents, Andre! And I'm looking forward to your video when it comes out.
What struck me most was the pathos of the child and his connection with his dog -
"You got to be out of your mind.
Don't let my dog be left behind."
And then the crescendo from panic to the dog catching up and jumping in (to the open flatbed of a truck maybe?) and the resolution. Really well done!
Comment Written 15-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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Thank you, lyenochka, for your heartfelt, six star review. Yes, I studied all three artists for their use of words, storytelling, and rhyme. In early drafts the boy had the name of Edgar, but I could not make it work as the song and story evolved. It is for the best that in the song the boy and his parents do not have names. This allows people to identify with them, but with the child in particular. I am looking forward to performing this and will post a video when I have one. Thanks for your compliments, too.
Comment from Oatmeal
SIS CAT,
The lyrics are well written but there were a couple of places that did not rhyme. This is an example of one of them.
This traffic is so heavy,
I'll buy you a new puppy.
Lyrics do not always rhyme. Your arrangement looks very nice.
There was no SPAG, no typos, no room for improvement. The words you chose worked well.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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SIS CAT,
The lyrics are well written but there were a couple of places that did not rhyme. This is an example of one of them.
This traffic is so heavy,
I'll buy you a new puppy.
Lyrics do not always rhyme. Your arrangement looks very nice.
There was no SPAG, no typos, no room for improvement. The words you chose worked well.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 15-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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Oh, thank you, Oatmeal, for your review and comments. Yes, I do not have pure rhymes in some places, but in heavy/puppy they both have the stressed accent on the first syllable and they both have the identical sound for the letter Y. I will see what my songwriting teacher says on Tuesday because he is a stickler for rhymes. I cannot say that you did not warn me. Thank you for your encouraging review.
Comment from papa55mike
That's right, don't you let Buddy go. This is wonderfully written and I love the style. For some reason, Langston Hughes came to mind when I read this poem. It reminds me of "O, Weary Blues." Great Job! I wish I had a six, but I've been reviewing all day.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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That's right, don't you let Buddy go. This is wonderfully written and I love the style. For some reason, Langston Hughes came to mind when I read this poem. It reminds me of "O, Weary Blues." Great Job! I wish I had a six, but I've been reviewing all day.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 15-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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Oh, I love Langston, Mike, and "O, Weary Blues." Don't worry about lacking a six to give me. I ran out of them last night reviewing to post this song. Thank you for your review and for wishing me good luck in the contest. God bless you, too.
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion, this was certainly unexpected, but I applaud the effort. Since I do not write songs and only sing them or listen, I really have no point of reference but the read. I found it annoying - sorry...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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In my opinion, this was certainly unexpected, but I applaud the effort. Since I do not write songs and only sing them or listen, I really have no point of reference but the read. I found it annoying - sorry...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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Thanks for your review anyhow.
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You are welcome, and thank you for your indulgence...
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Evesayshi, here is my video that gives you a point of reference of how I performed my "song" in front of one hundred teenagers. Enjoy:
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Congratulations on your eager and passionate performance - best of luck with the melody...
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a great uplifting write and I loved the repeated lines and I'm so glad the dog got on board and was not left behind! A delightful joyous story, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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This is a great uplifting write and I loved the repeated lines and I'm so glad the dog got on board and was not left behind! A delightful joyous story, love Dolly x
Comment Written 15-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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Oh, thank you, Dolly, for your delightful review. In an early draft I did not state whether or not the dog made it onto the car. I knew readers and listeners would bug me so I wrote a plausible happy ending--Buddy caught up with the family car stuck in traffic. Thank you for your review.
Comment from RGstar
Nice write. Pace again. Lively and vibrant. You elaborate very well by bringing motion and passion into your write as if explaining personally...and one cannot ask for more. The piece is what it is, depicted at a particular episode or moment. That is what we experience.
Well done.
Good luck with this.
My best wishes.
RG
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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Nice write. Pace again. Lively and vibrant. You elaborate very well by bringing motion and passion into your write as if explaining personally...and one cannot ask for more. The piece is what it is, depicted at a particular episode or moment. That is what we experience.
Well done.
Good luck with this.
My best wishes.
RG
Comment Written 15-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2017
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Thank you, RG. After reviewers and even my own songwriting teacher and fellow classmates complained that they could not understand my earlier song without author's notes and explanations, I worked hard to write a song kids can understand. I'm going to test this song out on them Thursday at an open mic. Thank you for your review and for wishing me luck.
