Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

This is a very enjoyable poetry form and your poem is composed perfectly for Halloween. Well written and illustrated. Much luck in the contest with this fun entry. Marilyn

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2017

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reply by the author on 07-Oct-2017

Hi there;

Halloween is one of my favorite 'holidays.' When I was young, we were still able to go Trick or Treating from house to house, and all we had to worry about was the fear of 'witches who flew through the night,' but in today's world, there are real dangers out there. So many kids have never gone 'Trick or Treating,' and I don't blame parents for protecting their children.

This was just a fun salute to days gone by,

~patty~

reply by BeasPeas on 07-Oct-2017

Same thing when I was a kid. We didn't worry about such things. :)

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

I am guessing that you have created this fear-inspiring tale in verse. I think there is quite a lot of fear about this holiday now that very few kids do the trick or treating anymore. Good scare tactics in your well developed poem!

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2017

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reply by the author on 07-Oct-2017

Hi there;

Halloween is one of my favorite 'holidays.' When I was young, we were still able to go Trick or Treating from house to house, and all we had to worry about was the fear of 'witches who flew through the night,' but in today's world, there are real dangers out there. So many kids have never gone 'Trick or Treating,' and I don't blame parents for protecting their children.

This was just a fun salute to days gone by,

~patty~

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Hello, Patty,

I grew up believing in witches and the boogeyman. Parents are very aware that their children are in danger and can be taken away. Your poem is pretty scary, good for Halloween.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017

Hi Gypsy;
Some people thought I went a little too dark. I just had a lot of fun with the form. I'm glad you found it good for Halloween,

~patty~

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

I am glad you were inspired by Halloween to create this Monchielle and share the result. I admired your rhymes and repeats plus the notion of the terrifying witches. Best wishes in the contest- Joan

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017

Hi Joan;
thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I'm glad you enjoyed my little bit of horror,

~patty~

Comment from angel123

Excellent

I enjoyed reading your poem. It rhymes well and flows well with precaution to all parents. I like your message and your repeating sentence. I also like your artwork choice. It goes well with your Halloween story.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I'm glad you enjoyed it,

~patty~

Comment from Angela VA

Excellent

You're scaring me, Patty! :) This is a creepy poem, as I'm sure you intended. I can imagine this being shared around a campfire. One suggestion, change "high pitched" to "high-pitched." That's a pretty complicated poetry form and you handled it well.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017

Hi Angela; thank you for reading my bit of spooky and horror. I think a few people were shocked I would go so dark on something. I'm pretty sure we all have our dark sides.

I'm glad you enjoyed it. I made the edit on high-pitched. Thank you for pointing it out,

~patty~

Comment from evesayshi

Excellent

In my opinion, a charming, fun poem, one to delight the children and the adults who read it to them - one that will stand the test of time, I think - appears to comply fully with the prompt, but I am unfamiliar with the form, as I am with so many I encounter on this site, therefore expanding my own poetic flare - best of luck in the contest...

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017

Hi there;

I have learned so many new poetic forms this year. If I didn't pick it up from one of the many poets here, I've found it on shadowpoetry.com. (An incredible site with tons of information - if you're interested.)

Thank you so much for reading and the lovely review,

~patty~

reply by evesayshi on 06-Oct-2017

Hi back;
I am definitely interested, Patty - thank you so much - I have notated the website you mentioned. I am sorry to say I have nothing to offer you in this regard - you are far more informed than I can hope to be. All I ever did, prior to joining FanStory, was simply write. So my exposure here has been both educational and motivating.
And, you are so very welcome, my pleasure, I assure you...Eve

Comment from Sallyo

Good

This is a form I haven't encountered before (at least, I don't think so) and it takes a while to get a handle on. It's quite a scary picture and a warning in one. I read that last stanza over three times and I still can't parse that final line. The verb "to tempt" means the child tempts. The other sense is "be tempted" (which won't fit the rhyming scheme). Could be a different dialectual usage?

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017

No, the child tempts the witch just by being there; kind of like the rabbit to a dog.

While it is somewhat offensive to think the child is the tempter - they have to be as the witches are tempted.

so sorry it wasn't more clear to you.

~patty~

Comment from estory

Excellent

A spooky little twist on witches, that kind of reminded me of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and the guy who tries to catch children in the kingdom where children are forbidden. Colorful, spooky, almost a little sinister with those really mean child stealing witches. Can't be too careful nowadays estory

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017

Hi there;
thank you so much for the read and review. I'm glad you enjoyed this little bit of horror for the spooky holiday. I had a fun time writing it,

~patty~

Comment from DR DIP

Excellent

Its funny I thought Halloween had come and gone but it just seems now they come around so fast This is a very good entry in the Halloween contest Patty good luck

dip

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2017

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2017

Hi dip;
thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. I'm glad you enjoyed my wicked witches,

~patty~