Comment from dovemarie

Excellent

Hi patty, excellent katauta entry. I wish you good luck in the contest. It's inspiring watching sad movies, and the picture of a broken heart goes well with your poem. I liked the black writing mixed with the red background. Donna

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2017

---

reply by the author on 04-Oct-2017

Hi Dove;
thank you so much for the wonderful review of my little poem.

~patty~

Comment from Margaret Snowdon

Excellent

Longing for your smile
Remembering how you felt
Just wanting to turn back time


I have to admit I've never heard of a Katauta before, Patty -
enjoyed the read and wish you good luck for the contest, my friend.

Can I come for a walkies with you and my favourite pooches??

Margaret

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2017

---

reply by the author on 04-Oct-2017

Hi Margaret;
Anytime you want, you are welcome to come and walk with me, Howie and Bernie! (You have to pay your own airfare, of course!)

The Katauta is one of the Japanese forms, and it crops up on FS every so often for a contest. Its a somewhat poetic form and included with forms on shadowpoetry.com

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing,

~patty~

Comment from Rasmine

Excellent

Hello, Patty,
I'm seeing a lot of the Katauta poems and wondering if they are romantic haiku poems.
Your poem is a very welcome sight, after reading two essays about the Las Vegas shootings. I want to hear romance and happiness. Now I see you wrote it after a sad movie, dang. Still, it is beautiful to have loving memories.

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2017

---

reply by the author on 04-Oct-2017

Hi Rasmine,

Hi; the katauta is specifically written to a lover and follows a 5-7-7 syllable count. Basically a specialized haiku.

Thank you for reading and reviewing,

~patty~

Comment from Bucketlist

Excellent

A very nice katauta. The title is memory provoking for love past. I only have one suggestion that you find a different word than smell, "Remembering how you smell" gave me a not-so romantic image!

 Comment Written 04-Oct-2017

---

reply by the author on 04-Oct-2017

Hi Trisha;
Okay, you convinced me to change 'smell.' You were the second person that thought 'smell' was not romantic.

Thank you so much for reading,

~patty~

Comment from kiwigirl2821

Excellent

Hello Patty, Oh Lordy girlfriend how I can relate to this one. It is sad but, so beautiful in its simplicity and honesty. Good luck! There are definitely some hard hitters in this contest. xoxo deborah

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2017

---

reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017

Hi Deborah; (or do you prefer Debbie?)
thank you so much for the read and review. This one just poured out of me from nowhere. But it went from my mind to the page. I just hope it catches some attention from the committee,

~patty~

reply by kiwigirl2821 on 03-Oct-2017

what's in a name mate? I genuinely do not have a preference. I call myself deborah with no capitals as I will one day capitalize when I feel worthy enough for the d to be big. It's a genuinely superb piece of writing Patty. Good luck. xxoo d

Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca

Excellent

YOu did very well with this katauta on the words to a lover. As I think we would all love to be able to turn back time to either correct an error or have more time with a lover

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2017

---

reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017

Hi Barb;
thank you so much for the lovely review of this piece. I had a good time writing this one; it virtually wrote itself. I'm not sure where it came from, but I liked the way the words sounded,

~patty~

Comment from Teri7

Excellent

Something about those sad movies that do it every time. You used good wording and cute imagery. good job! Best wishes in the contest. Teri

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2017

---

reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017

Hi Teri;
thank you so much for reading and reviewing. This little poem simply flowed from my mind to the screen. When the muse strikes, you gotta write,

~patty~

Comment from Brigitte Elko

Excellent

The band aid on the heart is perfect for this poem. I, as a reader, can relate to every word penned. The simplicity of this poem makes it outstanding for it is written so well.

Fan,
Brigitte

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2017

---

reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017

Hi there;
thank you so much for your lovely review of this work. This one seemed to just flow naturally from my mind to the page,

~patty~

reply by Brigitte Elko on 03-Oct-2017

I am glad I chose to be your fan!

Comment from DR DIP

Excellent

Longing for your smile
Remembering how you smell
Just wanting to turn back time

Hmmm, it's funny Patty, the use of the word 'smell when in the context of romance when fragrance is not associated can sometimes be off putting just my opinion.
You tend to associate smell with an offensive odour and the smell of romance is a pleasant smell to the lovers.
But on saying this.
Longing for your smile and wanting to turn back time remembering the beautiful fragrance of your love puts it all in perspective

Nice words thanks for sharing

dip

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2017

---

reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017

Hi dip;
I think I was remembering the scent of a cologne. The actors in the movie I watched were really caught up in the scents they purchased at the department store. I do have a strange attraction to men who wear 'Musk.' Something worn by my first serious boyfriend back in the 70s.

So, not all smells are bad,

thanks for reading and reviewing,

~patty~

reply by DR DIP on 03-Oct-2017

fair enough

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I have had these moments Patty. (I think we all have, those of the sentimental ilk.) beautifully written a good entry in this Katauta contest, good luck my friend, blessings, Roy

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2017

---

reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017

Hi Roy;
thank you so much for reading this little offering for the contest. I just felt it flow and it went from my hands to the screen,

~patty~

reply by royowen on 03-Oct-2017

Well dine