The Pick-up Line
Two unique strangers come to understand each other.12 total reviews
Comment from Lucian Carter
Ah, the club scene. Boy am I glad I'm out of it.
You capture the desperation of the single woman just looking for fun. The odd man who approaches her is bold and interesting so the reward of them getting together is a great payoff. Nice work.
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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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Ah, the club scene. Boy am I glad I'm out of it.
You capture the desperation of the single woman just looking for fun. The odd man who approaches her is bold and interesting so the reward of them getting together is a great payoff. Nice work.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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Thank you. This was fun to write. I haven't been in that scene in a very long time, thank goodness. I do remember it though!
Comment from B.B. Rose
Gosh, I wish I had a six-star left. This was a hoot and surely deserving of one. Loved "female nurturers." Your irregular rime scheme (with both perfect and slant rimes) Is both fun and makes the "conversation," sound oddly realistic. Loved your narrator.
Do believe you have a typo -- say what you/what you mean, try to be cool.
Good luck in the contest. I'll remember this one. B.B. Rose
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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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Gosh, I wish I had a six-star left. This was a hoot and surely deserving of one. Loved "female nurturers." Your irregular rime scheme (with both perfect and slant rimes) Is both fun and makes the "conversation," sound oddly realistic. Loved your narrator.
Do believe you have a typo -- say what you/what you mean, try to be cool.
Good luck in the contest. I'll remember this one. B.B. Rose
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2017
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Aww. Thank you this was fun to write! Appreciate the typo advisory.
fan friend,
Brigitte
