Emptiness
I'm afraid my heart will freeze.34 total reviews
Comment from RoDanni
The longing for love, companionship, touch--the willingness to even settle for one night, if that will just chase away the cold of loneliness--it is so tragic. And the desire to stuff something, anything, in the hole her lover left her with is so strong it leaps off of the page. One typo though, "Love so long gone
All is left is the emptiness of a song. " I think you maybe meant to say,"All that is left." other than that one word--exceptional!
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2017
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The longing for love, companionship, touch--the willingness to even settle for one night, if that will just chase away the cold of loneliness--it is so tragic. And the desire to stuff something, anything, in the hole her lover left her with is so strong it leaps off of the page. One typo though, "Love so long gone
All is left is the emptiness of a song. " I think you maybe meant to say,"All that is left." other than that one word--exceptional!
Comment Written 05-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2017
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Thank you, Roseanne, for reviewing my poem and catching my oops. I will go back and edit. I'm glad my poem resonated with you my emotions I was trying to convey.
Jo
Comment from estory
This is a poignant piece that captures this sense of loneliness, of reaching out and coming up empty. The tone is pretty good, kind of anxious and tense, a little melancholy. The questions were a great use of form; the unanswered questions leave the reader with a sense of unresolved longing. the images were also good. I liked this image of the smoke filled bar; you get a sense of the ephemeral nature of all this longing, all the unfulfilled connections, the reaching hand that ends up closing on smoke, in mid air. The rhyme at the end kind of ties it together. estory
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2017
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This is a poignant piece that captures this sense of loneliness, of reaching out and coming up empty. The tone is pretty good, kind of anxious and tense, a little melancholy. The questions were a great use of form; the unanswered questions leave the reader with a sense of unresolved longing. the images were also good. I liked this image of the smoke filled bar; you get a sense of the ephemeral nature of all this longing, all the unfulfilled connections, the reaching hand that ends up closing on smoke, in mid air. The rhyme at the end kind of ties it together. estory
Comment Written 05-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2017
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Thank you, estory, for reviewing my poem. I am glad you liked it.
Jo
Comment from rjuselius
this is a sorrowful piece of romance poetry dear justjo66! i feel for you as my ex abused me mentally for two years and i had no idea what love should entail.
thank you for sharing!
good luck!
blessings and a big squeeze!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2017
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this is a sorrowful piece of romance poetry dear justjo66! i feel for you as my ex abused me mentally for two years and i had no idea what love should entail.
thank you for sharing!
good luck!
blessings and a big squeeze!
rebekka x
Comment Written 05-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2017
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Rebekka, thank you for sharing with me and reviewing my poem. This poem was inspired by a time in my life when I was very lonely after my divorce from my first husband (my high school sweetheart).
Jo
Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens
Your poem personifies a loneliness only those
who have experienced it can really relate.
Sometimes, I hear, a warm body will do
Any body, if only for a little while, to chase away
the chill that loneliness imparts.
Nicely done, best wishes for the contest..
:-) Carolyn
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2017
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Your poem personifies a loneliness only those
who have experienced it can really relate.
Sometimes, I hear, a warm body will do
Any body, if only for a little while, to chase away
the chill that loneliness imparts.
Nicely done, best wishes for the contest..
:-) Carolyn
Comment Written 05-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2017
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Carolyn, thank you so much for your comments on my poem.
Jo
Comment from Liberty Justice
I feel your loneliness in your words, but you are not alone, because so many women have loved and lost. This poem is so romantic and seductive and reminds us of the days when we frequented clubs. liberty justice
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2017
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I feel your loneliness in your words, but you are not alone, because so many women have loved and lost. This poem is so romantic and seductive and reminds us of the days when we frequented clubs. liberty justice
Comment Written 04-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2017
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Thank you, Liberty, for commenting on my poem and understanding the emotions I was trying to convey. Yes, it is true I frequented the bars a long time ago just after my divorce from my first husband (my high school sweetheart).
Jo
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Yeah I share your pain, because I found out my baby's daddy had two other women and one had four children. We we suppose to start a new life together, and his other woman was living in the state we moved to and he had one woman in the city we had moved on. So you see life moves on to the drummer's beat. lol liberty justice
Comment from fastdigits
An interesting poetic ramble down the trial of loneliness personified by the clinking of glass making for expectations that are only in your head.
Well done
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2017
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An interesting poetic ramble down the trial of loneliness personified by the clinking of glass making for expectations that are only in your head.
Well done
Comment Written 04-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2017
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Thank you, for commenting on my poem.
Jo
Comment from DonandVicki
Your poem speaks to me of unbearable lonelyness. I think that all or most people go through this feeling even when they are surrounded by people. Well done, Don and Vicki
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2017
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Your poem speaks to me of unbearable lonelyness. I think that all or most people go through this feeling even when they are surrounded by people. Well done, Don and Vicki
Comment Written 04-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2017
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Don and Vicki, thank you for reviewing my poem. Yes, I think you are right. All of us experience loneliness at one time or another.
Jo
Comment from pipersfancy
The poet has presented a beautifully painful piece that resonates with truth. Many people have experienced this profound sense of emptiness and loneliness, of that, I am certain.
pf
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2017
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The poet has presented a beautifully painful piece that resonates with truth. Many people have experienced this profound sense of emptiness and loneliness, of that, I am certain.
pf
Comment Written 04-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2017
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Piper, thank you so much for your kind review and six stars. I am glad you can relate to my work.
JoThank
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion, exquisitely rendered and plaintive artistry, beautifully and gently constructed, in describing the emptiness of a lost spirit - imaginative in emotional expression and lyrical free verse...
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2017
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In my opinion, exquisitely rendered and plaintive artistry, beautifully and gently constructed, in describing the emptiness of a lost spirit - imaginative in emotional expression and lyrical free verse...
Comment Written 04-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2017
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Thank you so much for your comments and six stars. I truly appreciate the encouragement your words give my work.
Jo
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You are very welcome indeed, Jo...Eve
Comment from Kazzawin
This delves into the soul.
Almost begging to be noticed, painful desperation.
That is how loneliness can make you feel, wrapped up in your own misery and afraid of never feeling loved or wanted again.
The last two lines reiterate the message beautifully.
Nice photo accompaniment: )
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2017
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This delves into the soul.
Almost begging to be noticed, painful desperation.
That is how loneliness can make you feel, wrapped up in your own misery and afraid of never feeling loved or wanted again.
The last two lines reiterate the message beautifully.
Nice photo accompaniment: )
Comment Written 04-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2017
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Thank you so much for your review. I appreciate your comments.
Jo
