'Black Dog'
ABAB Poem35 total reviews
Comment from frierajac
We know about the black dog in Cali as well. Although I think it originated in the UK many years previous. It would be interesting to see if there were a literary prototype.
Someone close to me has this as clinical depression and even in sunny days is dark.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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We know about the black dog in Cali as well. Although I think it originated in the UK many years previous. It would be interesting to see if there were a literary prototype.
Someone close to me has this as clinical depression and even in sunny days is dark.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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Hi Frierajac Thanks for reading my poem and at times I can have dark day ( can't we all) so I just thought I would write about some feeling I experience but thankfully a great holiday has improved my mentaly and physically and I feel like I have regained my positive outlook. Cheers my friend from Bali Christine
Comment from For better for verse
I am a great fan of traditional rhyming poetry, and this was just that. Very descriptive, great rhyming and all in all a great effort.
Well done.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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I am a great fan of traditional rhyming poetry, and this was just that. Very descriptive, great rhyming and all in all a great effort.
Well done.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2017
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Hi For better for verse. Many Thanks for your review and time to read this poem I hope I did justice to the ABAB requirements and I am also traditionalist in my styles bit at time try free verse. With Cheers from Bali Christine
Comment from artisart4u
I enjoyed this poem because your adjectives so vividly described how you felt as you recovered. Like you sinking.
I am glad you feel better and you have your "ab's" in the poem.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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I enjoyed this poem because your adjectives so vividly described how you felt as you recovered. Like you sinking.
I am glad you feel better and you have your "ab's" in the poem.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Hi artisart4u. How delightful to receive your lovely sixer and so glad your stopped by I thought I would share this in this contest and hopefully others like it also Many Many Thanks and a big Bali Cheer to you Christine
Comment from Bill Schott
This seven-stanza poem, a modern sonnet-form, Black Dog, has the staggered rhyme and iambic pentameter that help deliver this tale of anxiety and fear tat can cripple us and seem to be undefeatble. Fortunately it passes. Strong poem.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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This seven-stanza poem, a modern sonnet-form, Black Dog, has the staggered rhyme and iambic pentameter that help deliver this tale of anxiety and fear tat can cripple us and seem to be undefeatble. Fortunately it passes. Strong poem.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Hi Bill, Yes almost a sonnet I did think about making it one but then I went with this to stick with the Abab requirements And yes my black dog has gone hopefully never to return. Many Cheers for reading my work Christine
Comment from dragonpoet
This sounds like a desperate person in the begin. Almost insane or deeply depressed about what is happening in her head and around her. In the end she finds strength to fight and realize she needs to be herself to solve her problems. She offers hope of peace but then closes that door by saying there is always another problem lurking nearby to take her under again.
Good luck and keep writng
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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This sounds like a desperate person in the begin. Almost insane or deeply depressed about what is happening in her head and around her. In the end she finds strength to fight and realize she needs to be herself to solve her problems. She offers hope of peace but then closes that door by saying there is always another problem lurking nearby to take her under again.
Good luck and keep writng
dragonpoet
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Hi dragonpoet, Thanks so mich for reading and reviewing my poem on depression or black dog. I tried to coare it with a storm and hopefully it is well and truley over. I will keep writing and always appreciate your comments Cheers from Bali Christine
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You are so very welcome, Christine.
Joan
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Yu have taken my thoughs and feeling and laid them out there with yours. I love the ABAB and you have done it so well with flow and rhyme.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Yu have taken my thoughs and feeling and laid them out there with yours. I love the ABAB and you have done it so well with flow and rhyme.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Hi Barb I did reply yesterday but having all sorts of trouble here in Bali with connections it drops in and out so I have to try when I can. I think we are similer in quite a few ways and it is a
way lovely to have your support Cheers Christine
Comment from royowen
Fortunately my faith keeps me grounded, I realise that feelings and health tie in together, but that's all they are, they are deceitful. I've likewise been ill, for about 4 weeks now, a close friend has died in the meantime, but seeing him at peace, relating and saying his goodbyes to family, he even arranged the format of his funeral, was confirmation to me of the never end. Bumping into good friends, at the funeral, was great.
And grandchildren alert one to what's important. Well done, Christine, beautifully written, you haven't lost your skill, great entry in this contest, good luck, I like Bali, (one of my sons in law is Balinese) blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Fortunately my faith keeps me grounded, I realise that feelings and health tie in together, but that's all they are, they are deceitful. I've likewise been ill, for about 4 weeks now, a close friend has died in the meantime, but seeing him at peace, relating and saying his goodbyes to family, he even arranged the format of his funeral, was confirmation to me of the never end. Bumping into good friends, at the funeral, was great.
And grandchildren alert one to what's important. Well done, Christine, beautifully written, you haven't lost your skill, great entry in this contest, good luck, I like Bali, (one of my sons in law is Balinese) blessings, Roy
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Hi Roy I am so sorry for the delay in replying I am haveing severe internet connection problems in Bali it drops in and out ( more out than inLOL ) so hopefully this will send Thanks so much for reading and I am still above board and doing much better. so here goes Cheers from me in bali Christine
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Good holidaying Christine
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi Christine, Well - I must say I'm glad you are feeling well again. This is a powerful poem describing 'black dog' with pure metaphor throughout. Good abab rhyme. Seven good stanzas and I particularly like, though it is hard to choose as they are all so good, is -
A heavy heart and mind that won't abate
This void(,) I can't explain (') consumes my life,
I feel I've lost my soul and it's too late
To claw my way above this awful strife.
Well written and a good read. Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy xx
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Hi Christine, Well - I must say I'm glad you are feeling well again. This is a powerful poem describing 'black dog' with pure metaphor throughout. Good abab rhyme. Seven good stanzas and I particularly like, though it is hard to choose as they are all so good, is -
A heavy heart and mind that won't abate
This void(,) I can't explain (') consumes my life,
I feel I've lost my soul and it's too late
To claw my way above this awful strife.
Well written and a good read. Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy xx
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Hi Dorothy, Thanks so much for your review and ai apologise for the late reply but having a lot of trouble with the internetvconnection here in Bali so post when I can . I am pleased you thought this well written and thanls for your good luck in the contest. ( Not holding my breath though I never seem to be able to snare an place in these contest only the ones voted by the members stil its worth a try and it gave me some mental release to write this. Acwarm Bali hug to you Cheers Christinexx
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written ABAB poem. We all get out days when we feel everything seems to get too much for us to handle and we want to give up on life itself. It is a very dark place to find ourselves in.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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A very well-written ABAB poem. We all get out days when we feel everything seems to get too much for us to handle and we want to give up on life itself. It is a very dark place to find ourselves in.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Hi Sandra,cSorry for the delay in sending this reply I did try a few days ago bit having difficulty with internet connection here in Bali so I bbest get this off before I drop out LOL. Thanks very much for your reviwe and I find writing a great release to get itcout of my system Many Cheers to you Christine
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
To claw my way above (out of instead of above?) this awful strife.
With strong (my instead of strong) determined strength I will succeed.
A couple suggestions I think flow a little better. I have definitely been there to many times in my life and currently struggling a bit as well, mostly because I am not sleeping. I hope you are getting better, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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To claw my way above (out of instead of above?) this awful strife.
With strong (my instead of strong) determined strength I will succeed.
A couple suggestions I think flow a little better. I have definitely been there to many times in my life and currently struggling a bit as well, mostly because I am not sleeping. I hope you are getting better, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 02-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2017
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Hi Debbie Thanks for your review and suggestions I may change the above to out of so thanls so much. Yes we can al be subject to some dark times my daughter has trouble sleeping too and shecis a busy lady with 6 kids No wonder she doesnt sleep Cheers my froend your support is treasured Cheers Christne
