Reviews from

The Dream

a lover in moonlight

26 total reviews 
Comment from strandregs
Excellent
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very dreamy
and I learnt a new word refulgent
not used since 1532
kidding
I am also a developmentally disabled adult until retirement.
then I'll become:
A retired developmentally disabled adult.
Fun isn't it.
Can't take anything too seriously.XXZ.

 Comment Written 29-Dec-2017


reply by the author on 20-Jan-2018
    thank you for the review--your disability must have happened before you were 22 to be designated so as an adult, I would say you are doing very well in spite of your disability
Comment from Dorothy Fennell
Excellent
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Hi Lois, what a beautiful Cinquain. The content is perfectly romantic. Use of a great word 'refulgent' - I had to look it up. I must remember it. I love your last three lines

shines through the window pane
lights up my sleeping lover's face
dreaming................................... and the whole is a lovely write. Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy x

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 01-Oct-2017
    thank you for your kind review
Comment from rama devi
Excellent
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Ah yes, I find cinquains challenging too. I think you did well. The imagery is well portrayed and sets a tone and scene. Lots of nice phonetics in this line:


lights up my sleeping lover's face


I like your choice to avoid punctuation and let the line breaks show the pauses, but I can't help thinking a dash in the penultimate line would give a nice dramatic pause effect.

Just a thought.

Nice overtone of tenderness.

Enjoyed.

Fine presentation too.

Love,
rd

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 01-Oct-2017
    you are so kind and so helpful with your review--thanks
reply by rama devi on 01-Oct-2017
    :-)))) Thanks, dear. That's always how I aim to be. Warmly, rd
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
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I learned a new word! I have not heard of the word refulgent before. You brought light from the moon and it shone onto your words, a joy to read, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 01-Oct-2017
    Oh Dolly--I thank you so very much
Comment from Ogden
Excellent
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How ever did you come up with 'refulgent?' It sent me scurrying (virtually) for my dictionary.

No matter, a very worthy cinquain.

Good luck in the contest, Lois.

Don (aka Ogden)




 Comment Written 30-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 01-Oct-2017
    thank you so very much--scurrying is good for the heart
reply by Ogden on 01-Oct-2017
    You are welcome. My scurrying is virtual, but my mind thanks you, Lois, for thinking of the heart that inspires it. Hang on to your refulgency!
    Don
Comment from Aussie
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Best wishes for your contest entry; moon has always been associated with lovers. The tides are controlled by the moon, we plant by her cycles and love blossoms too. Well done poet.

 Comment Written 29-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 01-Oct-2017
    thank you for your kind review
Comment from robina1978
Excellent
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Nice picture of the moon that complements your poem perfectly. I liked how you described the moon shining, it shines on you lover's face. DREAMING. a true Cinquian. Best wishes for the contest.

 Comment Written 29-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 01-Oct-2017
    thank you for the nice review
Comment from jenintorre
Excellent
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Very well chosen words here. I enjoyed your poem it conjured up a lovely picture.
I found it very uplifting. Good luck in the competition.

 Comment Written 29-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 01-Oct-2017
    thank you so very much
Comment from nbonner
Excellent
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I agree with writing this type of poem is a challenge for me also. But I think you did a good job. Nothing like watching your soulmate sleeping in your arms. Thank you for sharing and best wishes in the contest, NB

 Comment Written 29-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 01-Oct-2017
    thank you so very much for the kind review
Comment from Possummagic
Excellent
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This is a beautiful poem and I note that it is an entry for "Cinquain poetry" contest. I wish you all the best of love. This poem certainly meets all of the requirements of the contest. PM

 Comment Written 29-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 29-Sep-2017
    thank you so much
reply by Possummagic on 29-Sep-2017
    You're welcome