A Fatal Sting
100 Word Flash Fiction39 total reviews
Comment from IndianaIrish
Like bee, like murderess, eh? An enjoyable flash fiction tale, Tony, and you did well using your 100 words. It's always a challenge in what words are absolutely needed to tell the story. Best of luck!
Karyn :-)
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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Like bee, like murderess, eh? An enjoyable flash fiction tale, Tony, and you did well using your 100 words. It's always a challenge in what words are absolutely needed to tell the story. Best of luck!
Karyn :-)
Comment Written 16-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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Lovely to receive six stars from you for this, Karyn. You are right - this wasn't quite as easy as I imagined that it would be! All the best, Tony
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A frightening sting here and I recall my husband being stung in the neck on our wedding day and you can imagine the comments from the congregation! We were married for 31 years before he died. A well written and fascinating story with a chilling end. Love Dolly x
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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A frightening sting here and I recall my husband being stung in the neck on our wedding day and you can imagine the comments from the congregation! We were married for 31 years before he died. A well written and fascinating story with a chilling end. Love Dolly x
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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Thanks for your review and personal anecdote, Dolly. Much appreciated! Tony
Comment from Pantygynt
This reminded me of a story my mother told me about my father who got stongue on the tongue by a wasp lurking in a jam sandwich during the war. By all accounts the only wound the hero received throughout the conflict. Lucky for him it stongue him on the tip of his tongue otherwise I might have written a similar tale. You certainly made every one of those words count.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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This reminded me of a story my mother told me about my father who got stongue on the tongue by a wasp lurking in a jam sandwich during the war. By all accounts the only wound the hero received throughout the conflict. Lucky for him it stongue him on the tip of his tongue otherwise I might have written a similar tale. You certainly made every one of those words count.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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There must be scope for a poem here, using rhyming pairs of the stongue on the tongue type but I'm sad to say that it is too early in the mourning to dredge one up!
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Uh-oh, I think we have a double murder here, Tony. Violence, so much violence these days! LOL Trust you to come up with some delicious plot with a twist for the competition. Very good luck with it. Giddy
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Uh-oh, I think we have a double murder here, Tony. Violence, so much violence these days! LOL Trust you to come up with some delicious plot with a twist for the competition. Very good luck with it. Giddy
Comment Written 14-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Many thanks, Giddy, for your review of "A Fatal Sting", and good luck wishes. Appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from ronnie k
Hello, the adventure, capture and death of a foe, LOL this poem is a very different poem for ? I have been your fan for awhile and believe I am so entertain by the poem, always enjoy your works, thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Hello, the adventure, capture and death of a foe, LOL this poem is a very different poem for ? I have been your fan for awhile and believe I am so entertain by the poem, always enjoy your works, thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Many thanks, Ronnie, for your review of "A Fatal Sting". Appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Hello my friend this is well written starting with the victim whose allergic to a bee sting moving, then the bee dying then on to the person who is watching it unfold definitely a honey trap good luck regards Jill
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Hello my friend this is well written starting with the victim whose allergic to a bee sting moving, then the bee dying then on to the person who is watching it unfold definitely a honey trap good luck regards Jill
Comment Written 14-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Many thanks, Jill, for your review of "A Fatal Sting", and good luck wishes. Appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from dracofelsinensis
This reminded me of the ending of that Charles Bronson film, "The Mechanic", where the bad karma is returned very quickly after a murder. Two stings in this story: one at the beginning and another, well disguised, at the end! Very good for only 100 words.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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This reminded me of the ending of that Charles Bronson film, "The Mechanic", where the bad karma is returned very quickly after a murder. Two stings in this story: one at the beginning and another, well disguised, at the end! Very good for only 100 words.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Many thanks, dracofelsinensis, for your review of "A Fatal Sting", and your comments. Appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from krys123
Cheers, Tony;
-This reads like an Agatha Christie mystery and a well-written one at that.
-When ingeniously creative and outstanding inventiveness made this story what it is.
-A superb murder mystery of a wife or lover who murders her husband or lover by using a honeybee to sting the allergic suspect.
-His agonizing death caused by his anaphylactic shock from a bee sting was in ingeniously written ploy that is so very effective in the short story contest.
-Spectacular imagery that was demonstratively descriptive and most definitively expressive Throughout the writing. I even like the lack of remorse that she has.
-Good luck in the contest, Tony and take care and have a good one.
Alex
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Cheers, Tony;
-This reads like an Agatha Christie mystery and a well-written one at that.
-When ingeniously creative and outstanding inventiveness made this story what it is.
-A superb murder mystery of a wife or lover who murders her husband or lover by using a honeybee to sting the allergic suspect.
-His agonizing death caused by his anaphylactic shock from a bee sting was in ingeniously written ploy that is so very effective in the short story contest.
-Spectacular imagery that was demonstratively descriptive and most definitively expressive Throughout the writing. I even like the lack of remorse that she has.
-Good luck in the contest, Tony and take care and have a good one.
Alex
Comment Written 14-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Many thanks, Alex, for your review of "A Fatal Sting", and good luck wishes. Appreciated. Best wishes to you and yours, Tony
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You're very welcome, Tony and stay up in the land down under.
Chuckle.
Alex
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Excellent flash fiction! I'vee never read one before, but this was concise, full of imagery, and intense drama, as both the bee, and the person, died in the end. This story really kept me on the edge of my seat! Fascinating imagery, and told, so well. The artwork is excellent, and thank you for turning me on to their website of copyright free photographs. The last line of the story is gripping in its intensity. I love how you sum up the story so well, and so vividly. Thank you for the favor of reading your flash fiction story. Very well written.
Take care, Jesse
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Excellent flash fiction! I'vee never read one before, but this was concise, full of imagery, and intense drama, as both the bee, and the person, died in the end. This story really kept me on the edge of my seat! Fascinating imagery, and told, so well. The artwork is excellent, and thank you for turning me on to their website of copyright free photographs. The last line of the story is gripping in its intensity. I love how you sum up the story so well, and so vividly. Thank you for the favor of reading your flash fiction story. Very well written.
Take care, Jesse
Comment Written 14-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Many thanks, Jesse, for your review of "A Fatal Sting", and six stars. Appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
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You're welcome, Tony.
Comment from lyenochka
It seems this brief prose tells me about a murder suicide. The bee was used as the murder weapon on someone who was deathly allergic to the bee sting. The sudden cramp was sudden so I am not sure if the suicide was planned. A lot happened in so few words!
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2017
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It seems this brief prose tells me about a murder suicide. The bee was used as the murder weapon on someone who was deathly allergic to the bee sting. The sudden cramp was sudden so I am not sure if the suicide was planned. A lot happened in so few words!
Comment Written 14-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2017
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Thanks for your review, Helen. I think I need to sharpen up my writing skills a bit! I've had a number of different interpretations of this! I could have done with a few more words to make myself clear! My idea was that, in the same way that a bee sustains fatal damage to its abdomen when it stings, so too did the lady who murdered her partner. I didn't have enough words to include a plausible reason for the stomach cramps though! The honeypot was intended to be metaphorical. It's better to spread sweetness than to sting! Best wishes, Tony
