Reviews from

My Book of Poems 2010-2017

Viewing comments for Chapter 53 "Where have I gone?"
a collection of my poetry

19 total reviews 
Comment from rtobaygo
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Good morning, Patty

Monday morning and I'm already out of sixes.

The sorrow and laments of a child caught up in a situation she did not create and her unfortunate reactions to both. Enjoyed.

Take care and stay safe,

Ray

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
    Hi Ray; thank you so much for the virtual six on this one - I really felt this,

    ~patty~
Comment from apky
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Another of your free verse poem that sounds emotional and personal about some low time in your own life. It must have been awful to feel that nothing worked out positive and your mum seemed not to be as supporting as you would have required. Such times does leave us feeling a bit abandoned. But you got through it and can now write in retrospect such memories in beautiful free verse.

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
    Hi Aki;
    thank you so much for this very heartfelt review. I try not to dwell on the past. It only makes me feel horrible - I try to believe that my mother did her best, but it doesn't always feel that way,

    ~patty~
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
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Your free verse poem speaks of a low time in your life, when nothing was right and your mom wasn't supporting you when needed. It must have left you feeling very much alone. I hope writing this helped you, my friend.


The cupboards were bare, but the rent and utilities were paid, - overly-long sentence here, Patty - just a suggestion.
Cupboards were bare, but rent and utilities were paid.

Margaret

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
    Hi Margaret;
    thank you so much for this very heartfelt review. I try not to dwell on the past. It only makes me feel horrible - I try to believe that my mother did her best, but it doesn't always feel that way,

    ~patty~
Comment from Asem.inspirations
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Hey there, Patty: I know what you mean about no pictures at a certain time period. My life was so chaotic as i moved out of my teens in to young adulthood that any pictures that i did have got misplace and/or discarded. I ended up going to my father for his pictures and made every copy of every picture of me that i could get my hands on. They are great looking photos too. It bothered me not to find any of me when I was in High school but yep, none found, anywhere.

This is a great free verse about another new dad in your life and being uprooted from all that was familiar and fine in your life. Sure, I could understand the rebellion. We all have our reasons and this is another great and interesting story. I love that you laid it out in free verse style.

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 10-Sep-2017
    Hi Tier;
    writing this story in a poem was freeing, but oh so hurtful. I hated to think back on those times, when my life was so out of my hands. I was ranked third in my class, serving as Secretary of our Class, and then I moved to one of the worst rated schools in the district. I was really beyond their curiculum, and there weren't any classes I needed besides History. The counselor filled the rest of my day with classes I wasn't interested in, with the exception of creative writing.

    By the time February rolled around, I had had it. I quite and got my GED. I signed up for classes at the community college, and then my mother and step-father wouldn't fill out their part of the financial aid papers. I couldn't do anything about financial aid on my own, I was considered a dependent student until I turned 21 or got married.

    It was SO frustrating - and then there was the mental war going on between my mom and me,

    ~patty~
reply by Asem.inspirations on 10-Sep-2017
    Girl, you have been through it. I can't wait until you publish your best seller. Your book is going to be sold out as soon as it hits the shelves and I am going to get one of the first books. Oops I said that i would buy Dawn's book. I better get buying. anyway, it is a good story and what ever you write, I read. I'm sorry that your life went in that direction but I am happy that you turned out so wonderful. Have a wonderful day.
Comment from Bucketlist
Exceptional
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Free verse has no demands no rythm no worry! I 'get you' lost for your mom's choice, at cost of your stable world to a cold distant place.causing rebellion I felt so bad reading this, but it happens all the time. Better out than in . Purge through poetry! Thanks for sharing
Hugs Trisha

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 10-Sep-2017
    Hi Trisha; I tried to purge all of these feelings through this bit of poetry. It didn't help much, and I still can't write the story I need to for Grammy's Memoirs. So, I guess I will have to concentrate on other things,

    ~patty~
reply by Bucketlist on 10-Sep-2017
    There will be a right time when you're ready
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
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I love the message, we never know if circumstances made us or took away what we should have been. An interesting thought provoking piece and very stylishly done

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 10-Sep-2017
    Hi Barb;
    thank you so much for the lovely review of my poem. I struggled with the free verse more than I would a poetic form. It seems so ungainly to have the lines have no set structure!

    Your comments make a lot of sense, and I guess I often wonder if I would be different had the circumstances changed,

    ~patty~
Comment from Curly Girly
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This story-poem tells a sad story that appears to be true.
The things parents do to their children is often too sad and unbelievable.
When my mother got re-married, none of us kids was permitted to attend their wedding.
We were told afterwards, 'we were married.'
I sympathise with the writer of this poem.

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 10-Sep-2017
    Hi Nicole;
    thank you for the comforting review and your share. Sometimes you just have to wonder what people are thinking. Why would they purposely hurt the ones they love? I'm sure they have their reasons,

    ~patty~
Comment from Sasha
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You did a terrific job with this and I commend you for putting your thoughts into writing. I think this is a great free verse and I felt it had good rhythm when I read it aloud. Very nicely written and quite powerful too. You give the reader a lot to think about with this one.

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 09-Sep-2017
    Thank you, Sasha. This was a very cathartic writing, but it is a band-aid compared to what I need to finish the next chapter in my memoirs. My teen years were a horror show.

    But, the reward was my kids and Dave. Having to live with bipolar hasn't been a picnic either, but thank goodness for meds!

    Thank you for your continued support,
    ~patty~
reply by Sasha on 09-Sep-2017
    I have both bi-polar and borderline personality disorder... really bad combo. My childhood was horrific and it is a miracle I survived so I can relate to what you are saying. My problem is my children don't want to know about my childhood. They just want to focus on the psychological breakdown I had that sent me to the psych ward 6 times for depression and attempted suicide (several attempts).
Comment from Teri7
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Patty, This is a very interesting poem to add to the others of your life. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery with your words and the art work. Blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 09-Sep-2017
    Hi Teri;
    thank you so much for your time to read and review this piece. I appreciate your kind words,

    ~patty~
Comment from Bichon
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I hope all is okay dearest Patty. I think we can all feel like this sometimes, but it's never nice either. It is good that this came from your heart and it expresses your feelings.

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 09-Sep-2017
    Hi Chloe;
    thank you so much for reading and responding. I am doing okay, but reaching back and looking at these memories in preparation to write about them is draining,

    ~patty~