Where the bush meets the ocean
Growing up I played on this beautiful beach and surrounds.21 total reviews
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Recollecting fond memories of this town you grew up in, colorful language adds another dimension to this well crafted poem.
Easy to see why it won this contest.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Recollecting fond memories of this town you grew up in, colorful language adds another dimension to this well crafted poem.
Easy to see why it won this contest.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2017
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Thanks for your feedback Brett. PM
Comment from jaded831
Serenity interrupted by progress, but in this case progress means survival for the town. Which is more important peace of mind, or survival, both are necessary for living. One day it will all cease to be, but will stay alive in memory. Great poem, it stays in the memory today, and will be a memory in history tomorrow.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2017
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Serenity interrupted by progress, but in this case progress means survival for the town. Which is more important peace of mind, or survival, both are necessary for living. One day it will all cease to be, but will stay alive in memory. Great poem, it stays in the memory today, and will be a memory in history tomorrow.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2017
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Thank you for your feedback.PM
Comment from Bichon
Wonderful poem. Your language in this poem is beautiful and very descriptive. I could clearly see all the words in my head. Congratulations on winning the contest!
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2017
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Wonderful poem. Your language in this poem is beautiful and very descriptive. I could clearly see all the words in my head. Congratulations on winning the contest!
Comment Written 09-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2017
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Thank you for your feedback.PM
Comment from RGstar
"Seaweed lingers on the foreshore and
Play equipment swings lazily alone in the sun"
I never like to see 'and' end a line, then follows the normal capital at the beginning of the following. I like to see the phrase conclude when writing in even stanzas. You probably wrote this as prose and divided into stanzas.
Having said that...beautiful your writing. I would say free verse, yet, whatever the form, you elaborated well. Beautiful imagery, dictated well, even by the image itself.
A very well done.
My very best wishes.
RGstar
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2017
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"Seaweed lingers on the foreshore and
Play equipment swings lazily alone in the sun"
I never like to see 'and' end a line, then follows the normal capital at the beginning of the following. I like to see the phrase conclude when writing in even stanzas. You probably wrote this as prose and divided into stanzas.
Having said that...beautiful your writing. I would say free verse, yet, whatever the form, you elaborated well. Beautiful imagery, dictated well, even by the image itself.
A very well done.
My very best wishes.
RGstar
Comment Written 09-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2017
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Yes you are right and I will correct it. Thank you for your feedback. PM
Comment from smileycloud
you have written a very good and strong contender in the contest around your lovely picture
the memories you shared are extremely vivid
have a smiley day
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2017
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you have written a very good and strong contender in the contest around your lovely picture
the memories you shared are extremely vivid
have a smiley day
Comment Written 09-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2017
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Thank you for your feedback.PM
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Thank you for your feedback.PM
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks memories of the childhood living along the particular place where things of joy and enjoyment are plenty around the bush that meets the ocean; I liked.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2017
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This speaks memories of the childhood living along the particular place where things of joy and enjoyment are plenty around the bush that meets the ocean; I liked.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2017
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Thank you for your feedback. It's still a beautiful place to grow up. PM
Comment from Margaret Ford
For me, this poem seemed filled with pathos and yearning amidst wonderful descriptions of sea-to-shore vistas. Its phrases are wistful, the images created are strong, and these triggered remembrances of my own seaside experiences. It seems like the ocean always puts adjacent surroundings - here, the steel production - into greater relief, and you have brought that out nicely. Very fine work. I wish you well in the contest. Margaret
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2017
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For me, this poem seemed filled with pathos and yearning amidst wonderful descriptions of sea-to-shore vistas. Its phrases are wistful, the images created are strong, and these triggered remembrances of my own seaside experiences. It seems like the ocean always puts adjacent surroundings - here, the steel production - into greater relief, and you have brought that out nicely. Very fine work. I wish you well in the contest. Margaret
Comment Written 08-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2017
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Thank you for your feedback. It's greatly appreciated. PM
Comment from LIJ Red
An impressive photo, and an excellent free verse to bring prompt, art and poem together. The terminology makes me think Australia(fade out to didgeridoo music)
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2017
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An impressive photo, and an excellent free verse to bring prompt, art and poem together. The terminology makes me think Australia(fade out to didgeridoo music)
Comment Written 08-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2017
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Definitely Australia. South Australian far north. Thanks for the review.
Comment from Irish Rain
Just lovely. I always bemoan the progress of society, as its growth takes over nature. But, then I have to wonder...'what if it didn't?' What would people do for jobs, ect? Still...I long for these simpler times. Beautiful, blessings...
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2017
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Just lovely. I always bemoan the progress of society, as its growth takes over nature. But, then I have to wonder...'what if it didn't?' What would people do for jobs, ect? Still...I long for these simpler times. Beautiful, blessings...
Comment Written 08-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2017
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Thank you for your feedback. PM
Comment from nancy_e_davis
It looks like a lovely piece of real-estate my friend. I can see why people would want to return. Dolphines pop up to say Hello. LOL What fun that would be. Nice poem my friend. Good luck. Nancy
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2017
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It looks like a lovely piece of real-estate my friend. I can see why people would want to return. Dolphines pop up to say Hello. LOL What fun that would be. Nice poem my friend. Good luck. Nancy
Comment Written 08-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2017
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Thank you for your feedback.PM
